Memories...

I have always thought that memory was one of the things that give you identity, meaning and relationship. I still think that, and so when people ask me whether we remember each other in heaven I say of course. But visiting my grandmother I have seen the other side of memory in this faulty world of ours. As she slips further nto dementia, she is the happiest she has been in years. One reason is I believe she can't recall those things which gave her regret and bitterness. What seems to stay with her the most is the people she loves. She can't always remember names - but she remembers the relationships between people better. She always remembers who I am, even if sometimes my name escapes her. Perhaps ths is what is behind the biblical use of remembrance - God no longer remembers our sin, but remembers us and so saves us. It is not then that God can't recall our sin, but that like a lost memory it no longer has any power.

Thankyou God!

A dramatic hot tea incident with Scout (very silly stunt by him) meant a non functioning laptop on Christmas eve and a very cranky me. But the next day, in the joy of Jesus' birth it didn't seem to matter so much. Then today it has dried out! Wow! Now just got to get the keys working properly where we had to take them off to clean out tea.

My favourite carol

O Holy Night. Because Christmas makes me fall on my knees. What's yours?

a thrifty kid friendly veggie-full bolognaise

Well, here is another post in my irregular cooking series. A meal that I quite often make for the kids. I just made it last night and totted up the total cost - it is around AU$2.00 per adult serve (or AU$1.00 per little kid serve).

It packs in a lot of sneaky veggies too, and adjusts itself to whatever veggies you have hanging around.

Ingredients:
400-500g mince beef( I just put in the whole amount of the packet I buy, you can also use for a more authentic taste pork/veal mince combo.)

a large pasta sauce jar the bigger the better 500-750g (Or make from scratch if less time stretched, to make up for that then will need a can of tomatoes, 2 cloves garlic and 1 onion at most basic)

About 4 cups (or more) of veggies, comprising:
grated veggies - I will often use a carrot and a zucchini, but anything really that is firm - give eggplant a go as well.
AND/OR
finely chopped veggies (can use frozen - try celery, carrot, peas, corn, cauliflower)
AND/OR
can of legumes such as lentils/beans/chickpeas

500g pasta

Taste enhancers: you can add any of the following to give it more flavour - tomato paste(or sauce at a pinch!), fresh or dried Italian herbs such as oregano, marjoram, parsley, basil, salt and pepper, extra fresh onion and garlic, bacon.

Optional- sprinkle cheese on top.

Cook pasta per directions, and really there is no special way to cook the sauce, except that if you have really young kids throw veggies in earlier even at start to get them more tender, and add softer veggies later. I use olive oil spray when I brown the meat to reduce the fat content.

This makes up to 6 adult serves and up to 12 little kid serves.

tummy bugs and funny kiwis...

We have been dealing with a yuck tummy bug over here - so far all of us have had it/still have it except for Sparky. I'm on the 5th day and still feel sick so it's not nice.

Anyway, as that's not a highly entertaining post, I thought I would let you know Bhaer and I have been getting into Flight of the Conchords, as a comic break from West Wing. Very funny. I like Jemaine (who looks a bit like my husband and a bit like an ex boyfriend of mine......who both are part or more Kiwi. as are FoftheCs..........hmmmm who knew my tastes were so well, specific???).

I've put a clip from the show below, a parody of Bowie. As many of you read blogs with kids around the WARNING is that their songs deal with grown up concepts - this one involves some mild drug references though this would go over my kid's heads I think. Come back and watch this when they are in bed.....

holiday movies for kids

I am starting to think through our holiday activities. I am going to take Sparky to a movie, but at 4, it is hard to find appropriate ones.

Kris (see sidebar) put me on to a great website, Kids in Mind. It tries to be as objective as possible, simply rating each movie on possible issues for kids and leaving it up to you what you do with that information, based on your values and kids.

I am considering Bolt, which opens here in January. It is about a dog who is a superhero. Sparky loves dogs and heroes so he should be like a cow in clover. My only concern is some violence which takes place in a TV show context in the movie, but I think we should be able to talk about it together.

What about you? what are you going to go see, with your kids or otherwise?

O come

I just introduced Sparky to this carol and he loves it.





Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

blog comment day this wednesday

A friend of mine, John, has instituted blog comment day for Wednesday 3rd December, and would love more people to get involved.

This is how it works:
On December 3, 2008 you will leave one comment on at least 5 different blogs.
Out of the 5 blogs you comment on, at least 2 of them will be blogs you haven't commented on previously.

If you want to partipate, you can let me or John know. There is also a facebook group for this.

This is your chance to comment where you have been lurking!!

away with the kids...but now let's talk about something actually relaxing...

I've been away, hence no blogging. I went away with my brother's family. He has 2 girls, 5 and 1, and we have 2 boys, 4 and 1. It was great for the cousins to get to know each other and for us to reconnect with my brother and his wife. Some asked: Did you have a good time? The answer - Yes! Some asked: Do you feel relaxed now? the answer - uh, no. 24/7 kids............. plus, I did have to take some marking with me for the distance course I have been teaching.

Now, this is where I would like to go next. With husband. Without kids. Or perhaps go do this, with a female friend. Without her kids.

I should also let you know my grandmother is being moved into a nursing home tomorrow, though it doesn't look good for her long term.

a gingerbread.....beach?

I spent yesterday evening making a gingerbread house at the church my playgroup is at. I am inordinately pleased with myself (despite the fact I made it from a kit...) . Let's hope it lasts til Christmas.

But I was a little bemused by the reminder of how northern hemisphere our Christmas still is. Then I started thinking - how could you make an Australian gingerbread construction? after all it's all that snowy icing which sticks it together. Any ideas? I thought maybe blue icing with a sun and sea scene somehow.......or yellow icing for sand?

I found this Australian gingerbread house kit, but it didn't really work for me. I also saw this one on a blog, which worked much better, and actually looks Aussie, but still - what is the white meant to be?

* I'll try to get round to putting a photo up of my house before we eat it!

How do they do it?

Also from Mim - a blog analyser to pick Myers Brigg from your blog.

Keen readers of my blog will know I am an INFP - well here they guessed me as an ISFP. Pretty close.

The analysis indicates that the author ofhttp://eventhesmallest.blogspot.comis of the type:
ISFP - The Artists
The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of. They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

(How can they tell? a vocab analysis?)

Yes, I am a woman (just)

Got this from Mim:

my blog has been analysed and:

Results:
We guess http://eventhesmallest.blogspot.com is written by a woman (51%), however it's quite gender neutral.


It doesn't seem that accurate - only about 55% from the web results so far....

I have a new name

I have just been given a Chinese (cantonese) name by my church. I am quite chuffed about this. My name (transliterated, and I hope I am getting this right!) is Do Mei Yun.

The surname is Do, and what we would call the first name is Mei Yun - which means Beautiful Grace. No one has told me what the Do part means. A great meaning too - so even more chuffed.

* piccie from www.pdphoto.org

Twins ARE better

Prue and I spoke of being twins in the comments of the post below (I am the girl of a boy/girl pair, Prue is an identical twin). I facetiously said that twins were better at duo, one on one relationships (such as marriage) because of practice in this regard. Well, I did think the remark had some merit . I also suspect, though, that twins may struggle more with group relationships, at least initially.

This interview with a twin expert backs me up, that twins learn empathy and sharing earlier, but also can struggle when first in school in learning how to interact with a larger group because they haven't needed to learn this skill, because they have been sufficient for each other. Another interesting point is that twins tend to use their twin as their blankie (security object).

Hey blankie! what you doing in another city?

(but hey prue, lets not mention that twins are on average meant to have lower IQs ;) .......I haven't noticed this with the twins I know)

Drumroll please..Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you

You may have read in previous posts that the blogs I link to on my sidebar are my friends. I currently don't link to any other blogs, although I do look at other blogs. For me blogging is about friendship, and I find that I do not sustain an interest in a blog unless the blogger is already a friend or becomes one. And because of that, the blogs I link to aren't necessarily anything like mine, just as your friends can be wonderfully different from you. Which may mean that you ignore my links, as you don't know what the blogs will be about. So I thought I would introduce you to my current crop of links. I also want to do this, because I have been reflecting lately on what an encouraging and inspiring lot they all are and wanted to sing their praises.


Andrew aka Jubilee Man: Andrew and my husband were in each other's bridal parties, and when they saw each other more often they were full of in jokes that only they understood! Bhaer misses him very much. Andrew is a minister, husband (see Cecily below) and father. Andrew's blog is full of different treasures: thoughtful theology, musings on life, ministry and family, and also loads of wonderful photography shot by himself.


Byron aka nothing new under the sun: Byron and I have only met online, but have since discovered so many connections we can't understand why we have never met. He is doing his PhD on the church at the moment, and I can't wait to see where it goes. His blog is my stop for a good theological think - but Byron is never just about the academy, so he also engages meaningfully with real world issues such as politics and the environment.

Cecily aka I love sunny day is married to Andrew, and is a friend from Uni days. She is one of those amazing inspiring women who is able to put her hand to almost anything. She is a published author, and she often shares what she is currently writing on her blog. She also tells you about her latest projects and passions, and about mothering her 3 kids (one of whom is in the autism spectrum). She does everything with flair and love.


John aka Smulospace is a friend of mine from college days. He has an enquiring mind, always willing to entertain the views of others and think things through. His blog is a meeting place for emerging church discussion. A refreshing change in a blogger, he tries to provoke discussion rather than hold forth on his own opinion all the time. A necessary voice of critique for the church today, he doesn't come across, as some do, as Mr Negativity, but rather still a lover of Jesus and his people.

Kaylene aka my life as a (not so) yummy mummy is another old Uni friend. Like me, she is a mum of 2 small boys - incredibly only about 13 months apart - so I take my hat off to her! A very smart woman, she has a high powered career but her heart is with her 2 boys. She blogs about the intersection of her work and children, and shares about the joys and challenges of mothering in a genuine, frank and heartfelt manner.


Kristen aka the babies stole my brain and I were in the bridal parties of each other's weddings and we are often spending time on Facebook or the phone together when we should be doing other things - Kris is a lifeline for me. Kristen is in ministry with her husband. Kris's eclectic blog showcases her wideranging interests, as she fills it with her engaging thoughts on parenthood, ministry, the church, the world and pop culture. And if the Babies did steal her brain, then they must have given her an even better one back (don't play her at word games!)

Mark aka Honest approach and I were in a Bible study group together for a few years. We were 2 of the most outspoken members of the group, and we derived much enjoyment from debating things together. Mark is one of those people who is never happy just to take something as read, he always wants to ask why first - we really need people like him in the world! His blog focusses on faith and spiritual growth in a serious minded and thoughtful way.

Mim aka Mim's muddle is married to a school friend of my husband and pretty quickly became my friend too. Mim is a mother of 3 kids and has just gone back to the workforce - she is a person who take an active interest in many many things, and this makes her blog very interesting - read about wildlife, jewellery making, sci fi, historic re-enactment, feminism, food... and her family, all written about with honesty, humour and heart.

Nicole aka 168 hours is the wife of a college friend. We have only recently met in person, but because of her open and caring online presence, I feel like I know her well! She is a mother to 3 young kids. Her blog encourages and challenges other Christian women, especially mothers, to live lives that every day transcend the everyday in serving God and others. She also is a poet and shares great poetry written by herself and others.

Prue aka My life as the good twin is a friend from uni days (and a playgroup friend now). Prue is a mother of 2, botanist, botanical artist and crafter. She is an incredibly multitalented person, and shares her always accomplished art, craft, sewing and breadmaking, as well as opening up about her life as a mum. She also shares her wry, funny and insightful observations about life and the world.

So, go visit them, be kind to them, and maybe become friends too.

Living to a good old age??

My grandmother continues in hospital, alive and slowly getting better, but not very happy or motivated to stay alive. It almost seems that maybe it would have been kinder if she had died, but I trust in God that there is a reason for her staying with us. She turns 90 in less a month, and watching her and also remembering my grandfather post 90 (he died aged 93 a couple of years ago), I recently said to my family that I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay alive past 90, particularly as I have a hope of better things! Of course, medicine may improve the lot of 90 year olds in 56 years time. (on the other hand I do wish to get past the death ages of my other grandparents, one 50s and the other 60s )

I have been reflecting a lot on what makes old age liveable. I thought I might share with you my thoughts about this, though I suspect I will be thinking through these issues continually as I age. So, here are my preliminary thoughts.

Old age becomes liveable if you have:

1. A rich interior life. Although we can do our best to stay in good physical condition for as long as possible, if we live long enough, there comes a time when we will be forced to be less active. We are then forced back on our internal resources more. This is why I think mental exercise as we age is very important. By internal life, I mean continuing to have a rich mental, emotional and spiritual life.

Mental: not just playing bingo and reading mags, but rather continuing to engage with ideas and issues.

Emotional: being other centred in our emotions, letting ourselves be moved by others, rather than retreating inside ourselves.

Spiritual: finding purpose and meaning in life. As a Christian, I intend to be soaking in God’s word, meditating on it, and moreover still allowing God to transform me. I hope to resist the temptation in age to decide I needn’t bother with this anymore. A life without transformation is both dreary and eventually poisonous.

2. A useful life. I hope to work as long as possible, perhaps gradually cutting back on what I do. I hope also in retirement to use my time to help others for as long as I can. As I get less active, I will need to be creative in thinking how to be of service to God and others. Even from a bed or chair I hope I can pray and I can encourage others.

3. A loving life. I hope to have companionship. So I figure it is to my benefit to love others as much as I can, so that they might want to spend a little time round a doddery old lady.

Thanks to all for your concern and prayers about my grandmother. I’ll let you know what happens as I get any news.

Thematic songs

Sparky loves me singing themed seasonal songs for him. He is under the impression that no day or week is ordinary - there is always something special on. Consequently I am always scratching around trying to 1. decide on what the current theme is 2. find songs for it. We are going on a family beach holiday in a month, so the current rage is holiday songs. So far I have contributed Cliff Richard;s summer holiday (which as a bonus for Scout, the video on youtube featured a bus!). Anyone know any good holiday songs?

Proliferation of increasingly narrower genres aka Thomas the Tank Engine does Queen

I recently introduced my boys to Youtube. Sheer foolishness on my part I know, as now I get pestered.

But what has struck me is the development of genres and subgenres within Youtube, I assume becasue of its capacity to reach such a broad base of people.

My boys have a liking for the Thomas the Tank engine genre. Within that I have dicovered subgenres such as what I call Tommypop, thomas images set to a familiar pop/rock song and Tommycam, re-enactments of TTE stories (or sometimes original) using TTE toys. I have included an example of Tommypop above (with a song by Queen - can you guess?)

Holidays with a preschooler

Well, I'm starting to get the hang of this holiday's bizzo.

I thought I might share what we did (not in mind numbing detail I promise) and whether it was worth it!

1. On Sparky's birthday, we went to his very first movie - Beverly Hills Chihuahua. He loved it - not a terribly good movie, but a great choice for your first movie, out of those available recently. G movies are few and far between. I was glad we waited til 4 for his first movie - he was able to go the distance ( well with lots of m and ms).

2. He had a Mcdonald's party. I know, the evil multinational uses this to suck in new addicts. But it was very cheap, they do it all for you, and the kids enjoyed themselves ( except for scout). Very relaxing and was glad I did this rather than hold my own with everything going on for me at that time.

3. We went to a Colin Buchanan concert (Christian kid's performer) - lots of fun and about the right length (30 mins or so) . Sparky was dancing a lot, and even seemed to join another family who had better positions closer to the front. I was glad in the end I didn't take Scout, who would have found it overwhelming I think. We went with my cousins and their kids. It was a great way to see each other.

4. We went to a park with playgroup friends for a BBQ. Scout kept wanting to run off, or do dangerous things on the play equipment - which made me appreciate the advantage of having BBQ areas inside the enclosed playground - which this didn't have, but Collaroy Beach does for instance.

5. Sparky and I had a treat of going to the city on the train after his vaccination. He was very brave about this and didn't cry, I think explaining it earlier that day helped. I also caught up with Kris who was in for Anglican Synod. We had afternoon tea at the hilton, did a round trip on the monorail (He loved this! Kids under 5 are free, possibly because a fall off the platform would be very far to fall indeed....I think with Scout I would definitely restrain him in his stroller for this) and looked around QVB, at the clocks and a toy shop and a model train shop (this was fantastic for Thomas enthusiasts , and I think I better take my Dad who has fond memories of his Hornby set). So a very trainy day.

What did you do?

Grandmother ok

Thanks to all for their concern. My grandmother is still alive, and looks like she will make it. This is n0thing short of miraculous at her age and health. She came out of ICU Saturday night. She has been very depressed, but over the last couple of days has started being happier. She has a long recovery process ahead, and we think it is highly probable she will need to go into a nursing home after that, which she won't like. We suspect she will like it more than she realises, as she will have people around all day.

grandmother sick

Please pray: my grandmother who is almost 90, is in an ICU, is very sick. She hasn't been able to eat for days (due to a bowel obstruction and subsequent operations) and is currently also unable to breathe properly without help. She has done very well to make it through this far, but it is still uncertain.

1,2, 3, 4 - my eldest son has grown some more!

This is a Happy Birthday post for my eldest, Sparky, who turns 4 on 2.10.08 - tomorrow!

For his viewing pleasure, a video from youtube. You might remember the original song from an ipod nano commercial.

One for the West Wing fans

I know you are out there! Byron over at nothing new under the sun had a link to Aaron Sorkin's account of what happened when Barack met Jed. Come on, what are you waiting for? don't worry about me, click on over straight away.

Enchanted forest

Isn't this gorgeous? I wish I could justify buying it. You know how partial I am to owls! Don't even ask how much it costs. It is from a website called cocoon couture. They have other smaller less pricey things too - some gorgeous cushions and santa sacks - do you realise it is only 3 months to Chrstmas?

hope

Hello! Yes I still exist. I have been busy preparing to speak at Revive08 - the conference I mentioned earlier. Oh, and my husband went away last week, which always makes things more hectic! I spoke on Saturday at Revive - I was asked to speak on transformation and I ended up speaking about hope as key to transformation. It went well - thanks to God, and lots of prayer and support from people. My prayer is that my words will make a difference.

My favourite bit of praise? Sparky (who is turning 4 in about 9 days time) came up to me a couple of days later and said "Mummy, I am so proud of you". I'm not sure he really understood what I had been doing, but he had heard my parents and his Dad talking to me about it. Quite a bit recently, he has been making encouraging comments of this kind. So what I liked most about it is that he is starting to see that he can make a difference to others through his words to them.

What a boy can do

I thought I would share an interesting moment with my almost 4 year old - Sparky. If you have read my profile you would know I am a pastor. I was talking to him about a couple I am marrying. After we got past his concern that I was somehow getting another family, and he had worked out what I meant, he asked who married us.

Me: "Grandpa! "(My father is a minister as well. )

Sparky: "Can boy pastors marry people as well? I thought only girl pastors could."

Me: "Yes boy pastors are allowed to " (exchanging a smile with my husband at this)

Sparky: "Well I guess it wouldn't be fair if only girls could".

Goes to show you judge by what you know.

Further Font nerdiness

Well after last week's dipping of the toe into fonts and typography, I went and did some more reading on the subject (I know - thats just the kinda gal I am). I agree about the yuckiness of comic sans (see comments on post below) and after investigation, have discovered I am partial to a whole family of type/font called either old face or old style. Garamond would be one famous example. Have a read about type families here and work out what you like.

Helvetica

Anyone else watch the doco on the font Helvetica? I'm watching more and more docos as I get older and so seem to be turning into my parents. I shudder to think what the next step is.

Anyway back on topic. This was very interesting, to think how font choices change our experience of the world. Helvetica is a widely used font, used by both corporations (American Airlines for instance) and government (New York subway one example) and so therefore can paradoxically have either a consumerist or socialist feel to it! The header of my blog is a font that I would call a descendent of Helvetica. Arial is a well known helvetica look alike - I have typed this post in Arial.

It has been enjoying a renaissance lately (it turned 50 last year), but my prediction is it is getting towards the end of this current cycle of coolness and more ornamental fonts will have cache again.

I like it, it is pleasingly balanced and neutral. But a bit too ubiquitous?

Anyone want to admit to fonty nerdiness and tell me their fave font?

Thriftiness in cooking

I'm feeling very 1950s as I write this! Trying to save money at the supermarket has been going well (which is helpful at the moment!).

Here are some more cooking ideas that have been working for me:

1. Reduce the amount of meat meals you have. People often eat a lot more meat than necessary, and it tends to be the most expensive element of a meal. They say (the infamous they...) you don't need meat every meal.

2. Try tofu. No, I'm serious. For those who haven't cooked it, it can be offputting I know, but you need to use the right kind - I find firm tofu (or nigari) is the easiest to cook. It soaks up sauces well, so it's great in stir fries and laksa. It is cheap, and a very good source of protein. Also can be cut into thin strips, fried and then soaked in soy sauce - quite yummy.

3. Try tinned fish. I've been substituting tinned salmon in salmon recipes.

My greatest budget triumph was tonight's meal - last week I found 1kg of carrots on sale for 99c so I bought them on spec. Tonight I cooked 500g of them into soup for 2 of us - just add stock, half an onion (which was hanging round in the crisper about to go off), one garlic clove, bay leaves, parsley and season. We had it with sourdough bread that had been on special. Not entirely sure what that ended up being per serve, but I'm guessing under 1.50 each. The leftover bread is in the freezer to make croutons later this week.

A great chair... for more people than you might think...

We bought Sparky a Junior chair from Ikea about a month or so ago. Previously, we had been using a travel highchair as a booster at the table, and due to having straw seated chairs (very van Gogh like) it didn't sit right and was rather unstable. Our dining table is slightly taller than normal - it is an old work table from one of the islands in the harbour, complete with chisel marks etc. So, he will need boosting at the table for a while. I wanted to share that this new chair from Ikea has been fantastic - he loves sitting on a proper chair, and it is so easy to clean too.

The only worrying thing is that I have found it good to sit on, and have now realised that I really need a booster chair....(see the title of my blog for a hint why).

The complexity of children

One of the engrossing activities we parents like to indulge in is defining and categorising our kids. And yet my experience so far, particularly after no 2, is that while this is an enjoyable and even necessary activity, as it helps us to understand and appreciate them, they do defy our neat descriptions of them. At 19 months and almost 4, my two boys are already individuals of sometimes alarming complexity.

Sparky has recently learnt to read by himself. This kind of feat, typical of him, has confirmed my description of him as very verbal. (and by the way, shows that we have to be careful of applying general statements about gender, such as that boys arent as verbally gifted, to specific children). And yet, I was recently reminded that I can't ignore the other abilities and interests he might have. Sure, he will be probably be a bookish kid. But that doesn't mean I won't have to be dragged along to Saturday morning sport (you can see how excited I am about the prospect of that...). He doesn't seem particularly sporty to me as yet, but even if he has no huge talent in that area, he might still really enjoy it. What reminded me is that he suddenly came out with a mathematical statement he had worked out (5 + 5 = 10, he worked it out from hands and feet he tells me, and wasn't told by anyone). I had been so focussed on his reading I hadn't been talking to him about numbers or really doing anything about his numeracy recently.

Well, on to Scout (hehehe yes, finally owl is renamed, and all your suggestions helped guide my thinking ). Scout is what is often called a typical boy - though I am a little wary of saying this about him, as if his brother isn't therefore as masculine. Anyway, Scout is adventurous and rebellious. A typical stunt of his is when he learnt how to climb on to the dining table and spent the first day doing that continually, looking at me knowing he was about to get in trouble, and clapping himself. He is the kind of kid who does something daring, hurts himself, and just has to try again immediately to see if it will still hurt this time. He loves cars and trains. Yet to just define him that way limits him. He is also far more interested in nurturing play than his brother at the same age. He loves cuddly toys and dolls, and is already pretending they are babies and looking after them. If he sees a baby in the supermarket he spends the rest of the time looking for them.

It is good to recognise their distinct personalities and to therefore being looking to cater to their special interests and needs. But in doing so, I am trying not to at the same time close off doors they might want to explore. God makes them more wonderful than we can imagine or describe

Meme of Randomness

I've been tagged!

rules
1.Link to the person who ‘tagged’ you! Prue
2. Post the rules on your blog!
3. List 6 random facts about yourself!
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post!
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by commenting on their blog!
6. Let the tagger know the entry is posted on your blog!

BODY I am not sporty at all, but I do get very patriotic and teary about Australia winning.
EYES I do not have binocular vision. I only use the info from one eye at a time. This makes me very spatially challenged.
NOSE I feel like vomiting when I smell jonquils. My father has the same reaction. I do think they are pretty.
MOUTH I have a high soprano voice – I was classically trained in the past (sadly very rusty these days) and could (from memory maybe I am inflating it in hindsight) sing up to the top note required (normally) of soprano operatic soloists.
EARS I find music has very easy access to my emotions. My mood is easily changed by music, and my husband enjoys an instrumental piece of music that I can’t listen to, because it makes me depressed (Gorecki, Sorrowful Songs)
MIND I have a very good memory for words, but only an average one for numbers.

I'm going to break a rule (gasp) and just tag Kaylene.

I think I'll be a cook when I grow up...

This is Sparky's latest ambition (we have had doctor, fireman, artist, super hero, teacher...).

He said this after we cooked dinner together today. We have baked before, and made simple dinners such as pizza and burgers together before, but this was the first time we chose a main meal together and cooked to a recipe. This was prompted by Sparky looking at my latest foodie mag (see above) and finding a Junior Cooks section and a recipe he wanted to try. The recipe, for the record, was a savoury version of a bread and butter pudding, and he ate his portion almost all up! Sorry, no pic, I didn't think of taking one until it was all eaten up.

I hadn't done this before as I thought he was too young, but now I am motivated to include him in cooking a lot more. Why?

1. He enjoyed it

2. What's more, I enjoyed sharing this with him.

3. He was motivated to eat what he made

4. He learnt cooking skills

5. Maybe he will cook for me sooner rather than later

6. Maybe he might cook for his own family when he grows up and my daughter in law will thank me.

7. Enjoyment of cooking is now not just linked to sweet things and treats.

Olympic games revealing

picture by Ricardo Stuckert/PR from http://www.agenciabrasil.gov.br under creative commons licence

I got up early this morning to watch the Opening ceremony replay with Sparky, who is very excited about his first Olympics (last time he was in the womb). I had a wonderful time sharing this with him - I got a bit teary! He and his 18 month old brother watched a lot more than I thought they would - I guess spectacle is a genre that goes across age.

Sparky thought the 2008 drummers were a camera trick and was amazed when I explained in this case it wasn't so.

The ceremony was beautiful, lavish, stylish and dignified. I have to confess I still think Sydney's were better. This is probably because my taste is Australian! I liked the combination of cheekiness and transcendence in Sydney. It is a very Australian mix - we don't take things too seriously - and yet, deep down - at times, we do want to. It seemed to me that in fact Sydney while less dignified reached for the heavens more (the whole Eternity thing for instance). Is this the difference between a country whose government is based on a materialist doctrine and one that while secular still has some more overt Christian influence? The ceremony did however have a great message of care for the environment, as well as the usual messages of peace among the peoples of the earth.

The ceremony also celebrated the major inventions first invented by the Chinese. I knew some of this before, and it doesn't surprise me, as working for a chinese australian church, I am well aware of how smart Chinese people are! - I think the only reason they didn't conquer the world is that at a crucial point they became, politically, internally rather than externally focussed.

Peter and Jane

As promised, a post on this learner reader system.

I learnt to read using Peter and Jane. It is a system of 36 books, 3 per level, which aim to introduce children to the most common words of the English language. Strikingly, 100 words account for 1/2 the words used, and 300 for 3/4. Each level adds new words.

It is a method currently out of favour, as it in the main uses whole word recognition (though a 1/3 of the books use phonics) as opposed to the more fashionable phonics - see here for a discussion of this - though it seems now a combination of phonics and whole language is popular. Whole language seems to be more effective for children from high literacy households or with natural verbal gifting.

Sparky, who has learnt to read almost by himself, seems to favour whole word recognition and get frustrated with phonics, so I decided to use the readers I used, though also doing some phonics. I enjoyed these readers as I liked being able to go up levels, and I thought this would motivate Sparky as well.

The thing is, though, that the readers were written in the 1960s, and although revised in the 70s, still have a very old fashioned air to them. So, for instance, Peter plays ball and Jane stands by and watches. I have found myself having to explain to Sparky that when these books were written people had some funny ideas about what boys and girls could do but now we know differently. I guess he is learning to read critically already!

The picture is of some Peter and Jane illustrations, taken from http://www.theweeweb.co.uk/ a website all about Ladybird books - the publisher of this series.

So, how did you learn to read?

super thriftiness

Lately, I've been more interested to save money at the supermarket (because it's hard to save it elsewhere at the moment like at the pump or the mortgage!!!).

Here is what I do:

1. go shopping after receiving the local supermarket's catalogue, so I know what is on sale when I plan my meals and the overall shop. My local is woolies - you can view their specials online if you don't have the catalogue.

2. I also take a look in my fridge and pantry at what I have that needs to be used up, and try to think of recipes based on that - in light of which I just found a website for USING LEFTOVERS - punch in 3 ingredients and find recipes to use them up. You could also use this by typing in ingredients on sale that week.

3. work out how many nights I need meals for - and sometimes I deliberately plan for one meal less as this allows for those nights where something came up, or forces you to use up leftovers in making a meal - I usually plan for 5 dinners a week - allowing for one takeaway (Fri night before I go to work - cheap like sushi) and one easy meal like soup/eggs/cheese on toast/leftovers (usually Sun night after big day and often eating out during day with people from church).

Forbearance versus forgiveness

I had thought I had grown in how I dealt with people hurting me - but recently I think that I have grown in forbearance - being able to turn the other cheek , turn away harsh words with gentle and so on - but not as much in forgiveness - which strikes me that while an improvement it is still quite external. And really I haven't got to the heart of the matter then. These musings have come about through studying Joseph in Genesis - he used to be one of my least favourite biblical heros (see the arrogance with the dreams and the tricks with the cup and money), but since re-studying him I am in awe at his forgiveness for the brothers who sold him. The reconciliation between the brothers is like that of the prodigal son and the father (see the picture by Rembrandt). So, thinking about moving beyond simply bearing with people to having a giving generous heart.

Comeback and Talkback

New laptop finally - and I'm back!

So what do I say now I'm back?

I want to ask what YOU think.

I'm speaking at a conference thingie in a bit less than a couple of months- on transformation. I have been thinking lots on how this occurs, but I thought I might ask you what you think plays the biggest role in transformation (of individuals and communties). Or maybe you could share a story?

image by pdphoto.org

June news

1. we all went on holidays west of the mountains and got sick again......................but we seem to be almost out of the woods - 7 weeks and counting. I wonder whether this is due to Sparky starting preschool this year?
2. Sparky has read his first book (anyone learn to read on the Peter and Jane series? it deserves a whole post of its own) and now we are trying to find the next one of the series at his urging.
3. Sparky is having nightmares more recently - does anyone know whether this is a 3 year old developmental thing?
4. Owl (still not renamed) is talking lots now - around about 100 words. Embarrassingly, he already shows a Tv fixation - his first words include Bob the builder, Fireman Sam, TV, DVD, toot-toot (great til you realise this means Thomas the tank engine). He has been having fights with his brother where he turns the Tv on, and Sparky knowing it isn't Tv time, says "No! Mummy says it isn't TV time!" and turns it off again. I have taken to turning it off at the powerpoint.
5. Yes, due to hols, sickness and general busy as all get out , this is my first June post. I promise more soon - well actually June is pretty busy :)

Progressive poem meme and the plague reaches epic proportions

I was tagged for a progressive poem meme by Nicole - Prue started it. Their contributions are the first 4 lines, I continue with the next 2. (see sidebar for links to Prue and Nicole)

I have a friend, his name is Jack,
He is a hypochondriac.

He spends his days combating germs,
and memorising Latin terms.

with great distress he will disrobe,
He's proud to be a nudophobe.

For those interested in my thinking here, I was getting the idea of Jack as an educated but fussy faddish individual full of odd quirks - going off and finding the proper names for these eccentricities with great glee. I considered going with him as a faddish eater (like Jack Spratt, another famous jack), but couldn't find an appropriate rhyme, so went this way instead - but perhaps a later rhymer will tackle this idea?

I tag maccarthaigh family , who I don't know but expressed an interest in this meme on Nicole's post (Hi! nice to meet you!)

In other news, Owl came down with hand foot and mouth disease, hence still very little blogging!!! He is on the mend now.

movie meme

1. One movie that made you laugh

The Wedding Banquet – I was slapping my thighs. I saw it with 2 friends who despite protesting in one case that she would never have a chinese wedding banquet (she’s chinese) and the other that he wouldn’t get married at all – ending up marrying each other (weren’t going out when saw movie) and having their very own wedding banquet!

2. One movie that made you cry

It would be easier to state a movie that didn’t make me cry. Sophie’s Choice comes to mind for the sheer agony of her choice. Cried buckets in that. (Also my favourite movie Life is Beautiful)

3. One movie you loved when you were a child

The Sound of Music – yep I sang along. My husband used to deride me for ages about this, until I made him watch it – as he cried during the hiding from the Nazis scene – he admitted he quite liked the movie…

4. One movie you’ve seen more than once

See above. Also Grease (musicals bear repeated watching because you can sing along). And for Nicole who tagged me – I watched Room with a View multiple times as a teen too – especially certain scenes…

5. One movie you loved, but were embarrassed to admit it

I’m not embarrassed by what I like. Perhaps more generally, I have a high tolerance for romantic comedies, even if they are pretty B grade – though that doesn’t really embarrass me.

6. One movie you hated

Titanic – overwrought emotion.

7. One movie that scared you

Silence of the Lambs – I saw it with my cousin when we were home alone together at her place as uni students – we slept with the lights on that night.

8. One movie that bored you

Hey Dude where’s my car. I went with a bunch of guys from the single men’s block at Morling College when I lived on (as a married). They loved it, I was bored witless. Though, the funny thing was that my twin brother managed around this time to forget where his car was and became known as the Hey Dude where’s my car guy around his office.

9. One movie that made you happy

One I remember that had a real joie de vivre was Much ado about Nothing (Kenneth Branagh version).

10. One movie that made you miserable

One time when I was little, we tried to go see Lassie with my Dad. But we accidentally went into Ginger Meggs instead, which none of us liked the FIRST time we saw it, let alone a second time. So we all went home without seeing a movie. Pretty sad at about 6 or 7.

11. One movie you weren’t brave enough to see

Romper Stomper – I went with Margaret Pomerantz over David Stratton and decided not to see it.

12. One movie character you’ve fallen in love with

The main character in Dead Poets society – and he meets such a tragic end too. I have to say, the present day Robert Sean Leonard in House doesn’t do much for me.

13. The last movie you saw

On DVD, Nurse Betty. Disturbing – kinda funny, but in the end a dubious morality I thought – you are meant to accept the professional killer as providing the message . At the movies, Juno – I very much enjoyed this.

14. The next movie you hope to see
Anything at the movies!!!! I just want to get out…………..Love in a time of Cholera starts soon, and I just read the book, so maybe that.

I was tagged by Nicole. I tag Kaylene, Kristen and Mim (see sidebar for links).

No blogging

Sorry for lack of blogging. My family continues sick - 2.5 weeks now! We are just managing to get everything done, but no time for the fripperies of life! If you pray, please pray - Sparky, Bhaer and I still have a coldy/flu thing. The good thing is Owl (haven't had time to decide on new name, thanks for suggestions) is well.

the week that was......

What a week.............
My laptop died (new motherboard needed. Not sure can afford). So I may not blog as frequently.
My mobile died.
All 4 of us got a bad tummy bug with cold symptoms as well. All still recovering from this.
I coped with the first 2 things with equanimity, but the 4 of us being sick did me in.

What should I call him?

Still looking for a new blogging nickname for this fella. Take a look at that face - this is pretty much what he is like! Any suggestions?

archive meme aka who's that blogger?

Prue tagged me for a meme. It is an archive one to share 5 old posts. I have decided to use it as a handy dandy introduction to me and my blog. The 5 posts are to be about family, friends, me, something I love, and anything I like. So here goes:

Family: I am surrounded by men in my family. One of the most important men in my life.
Friends: Here is the purpose of my blog
Me: Why did I call my blog even the smallest?
Something I love: So many options. Here are 2 little examples - and this helps you with knowing who is who in my blog. I am still looking for a new nickname for Owl. He has turned into an adventurous intrepid toddler - any ideas?
Anything I like: here is one of the posts where I talk about my faith and my friends - love for God and love for others - pretty much sums it up for me.

And a note to my husband (Bhaer) - you haven't made it into one of these posts, but you are a very important man in my life who I love very much.

A lot of my regular readers who are bloggers have already been tagged, so that leaves Andrew, John, Les, Mim and Nicole.

what are we teaching our boys about masculinity?

There has been a lot in the media about the sexualisation of little girl's clothing. I haven't really had to deal with this, having boys, but I have had to deal with a related problem with boy clothing.

Boy's fashion, especially after say age 2, is based around a notion of masculinity as rough, tough, aggressive and transgressive. This is a problem when buying for Sparky, as he (and I have no problem with this) doesn't like anything scary looking. This rules out anything piratical, or any but the cutest monsters, or any skull and cross bones. You would be surprised how little this leaves. The other day I was buying him winter Pjs from cotton on, and had terrible difficulty choosing which ones to buy, as almost every pattern broke one of his rules or my rules. You see, I also have rules on his clothing: nothing that makes out he is a little soldier - camo, guns etc. And nothing that makes out he is a rotten difficult child. These 2 categories, added to those Sparky doesn't like - which I have issues with as well for a 3 year old - leave very little. You would be surprised how many slogan tees for boys have a slogan which denigrates the wearer. My sons aren't little brats/monsters/troublemakers - well, mostly not;) - and I certainly don't want to tell them so on their clothing. I don't think it is OK for my boys to be aggressive or social nuisances. I have noticed that very often parents do seem to think aggression in their boys is something to be secretly proud of.

I think this is the other side of the coin of the sexualised girl's fashion. Both trends paint a very narrowly defined idea of gender which I think goes against values you would want to instil in a child of any gender. What happened to the clothing I remember as a child? it seemed to be more kid like and less genderised. I pity the mums of girls stuck with the pink and more pink.

So, anyway, Sparky wears a lot of stripes, checks and plain clothing. Which is nice and tasteful anyway. The picture, by the way, is of the lovely kid's fashion by seed - which seems to avoid a lot of the issues I am talking about.

two boys in a bedroom and the little one said......

nothing as it turns out, and neither did the big one. Yes we have successfully got our boys to share a room , aged 3.5 and 15 months. After a successful camp with all of us sharing a room, we have done 2 nights at home and it has worked. Both seem very happy. I have now got all the toys out of my living room into a dedicated playroom. Down the track we plan to have bunk beds, perhaps like these ikea ones. Not now, or for some time, because Owl is a fearless adventurer.

a cup of tea solves everything

well not really, but it is the name of a Facebook group - there are 216 cup of tea groups by the way!

I do like my cuppa. When I had to wear a heat sensitive dot at Theo College to measure stress, I would start looking relaxed as soon as I put the kettle on. I like tea rather than coffee - well I like the taste of coffee, but since it makes me act, in the words of one friend, as if I am on speed, I generally avoid it. I have grown to appreciate tea very much - and for those who know the differences between tea people, I like Earl Grey, Russian Caravan and Lapsang Souchoung - and the occasional Chai.

I have just made an important discovery about myself. I have for a while had a general dissatisfaction with the mugs I owned, but since many of these mugs not only do the job well, but look Ok as well, I found it hard to pinpoint why. No longer. I bought myself some cheap teacups and saucers (see piccie for pattern - willow by churchill) from the supermarket on sale (about 2.60 a set!) and have realised that the reason for dissatisfaction is that I am not a mug person. I am actually, as it turns out a teacup and saucer person, and I just needed to reach my mid 30s to admit this to myself. Ah the joy of this admission! The mug and the tea cup are for different purposes. The mug is very efficient. It fits more tea in. It can be carried around more easily. You can use the mug as you go round the house doing chores. Now here is the downfall of the mug. The mug is the cup of the workplace. It is the cup of swallows between doing other things. But the teacup! The teacup is for time out. It has the luxury and relaxation of a nineteenth century afternoon tea of a lady of leisure. For those few minutes with my teacup, the clamour of the day recedes. As an added bonus, the saucer means you don't have to deal with the whole coaster sticking to the bottom of the thing.

So - are you a teacup or mug user? What type of hot drink? Or are you perhaps one of those who (I can hardly believe it is true, but I know it is) who do not partake of hot drinks at all?

Is it just me?

Does anyone else do this? I have a little book I write favourite recipes in - one side adult, the other kid oriented. I write down my own little changes and tips when I copy recipes. I take this when I go away so that I can cook my own recipes. I lent it to my mother when I had my youngest so that she could cook food for my eldest from the recipes he was was used to eating. I lost it for a while (which was quite distressing!) but recently found it when I did a big clean up. But here's the morbid thing - I make sure my husband knows where it is in case I get run over by a bus. I reason that it's hard enough to lose your mum, without losing all your favourite reassuringly familiar food as well.

In other news (using the word in the broadest sense), Sparky just got his winter shoes, and at 3.5 years, he is now wearing (gasp!) size 11. By my reckoning, he will have the same size as me by around age 7. Which will be handy - stilettos go down a treat with the other boys in the playground LOL.

The black balloon

I saw this film on my birthday. I enjoyed it immensely, despite, or perhaps because, I spent most of the film in tears. It is about a family with 2 sons - one autistic, one not. I gather the director /co writer Elissa Down had 2 autistic brothers. The film shows the difficulties but also the joys as this family not only survives but grows in love. The love of the mother for her 3 children (she has a baby during the movie timeline) is strong and uncomplicated. She is a very capable woman. The father is less so, and yet he still copes and loves. I found it a movie affirming of the worth of all children, and also affirming of the struggle yet triumph of motherhood.

Raising children in community

I've blogged about this topic before, but it hit me again this week to wonder how much more stressed women are in childrearing since the advent of the nuclear family and women being isolated at home all day with young kids.

It came to mind because I spent Tuesday this week at my cousin's house, tag team childcare, as she and I had various things we had to get done during that day and so we pooled our resources and I stayed at her place for the day (Thanks R!) At times, both of us were there - sharing looking after the kids and working on our computers. The kids always had one of us ready to pay attention to them, if not both of us. I really enjoyed the day - being able to chat occasionally and share the duties. It brought to mind other days where I have spent the day with other women and their children, and we have commented that the day seems easier and faster when you do it together. Now, it isn't always convenient or desirable to do this, but I think such a model reflects older cultural village style society, and I reckon this is how we are intended to do it. If only we didn't think that this means we are failing, and that going it alone is some kind of test of motherhood!

By the way if you were wondering why I haven't blogged for a while - it was my birthday a week ago, my husband's been away, and my mum is in hospital, among just some of the things going on.........

Language and women

"I can go on to tell you that I saw two major problems -- for women -- with
English and its close linguistic relatives. (1) Those languages lacked
vocabulary for many things that are extremely important to women, making it
cumbersome and inconvenient to talk about them. (2) They lacked ways to express
emotional information conveniently, so that -- especially in English -- much of
that information had to be carried by body language and was almost entirely
missing from written language. This characteristic (which makes English so well
suited for business) left women vulnerable to hostile language followed by the
ancient "But all I said was...." excuse; and it restricted women to the largely
useless "It wasn't what you said, it was the way you said it!" defense against
such hostility. In constructing Láadan, I focused on giving it features intended
to repair those two deficiencies."
Suzette Haden Elgin, linguist and author
(see her website here)

I have long been intrigued by the native tongue series of books by this author – I have read the first 2 books of the trilogy. They are based around the conviction that language helps construct reality , and that the lack of feminine input into language historically has therefore impoverished (or even damaged) culture. I certainly believe that language and culture interact with each other, that language is very powerful, and I wonder what changes to culture would occur with a female oriented language, though unlike the author’s perspective in the first 2 books – which I gather changed somewhat by the third - I am not sure it would accomplish redemption, for I think divine intervention is necessary!

I came across the quote above recently, and felt sympathy to the vulnerability of women to hostile language she speaks about – many many times I have known someone was using language in an aggressive or manipulative fashion, yet when asked to explain why, found it very difficult to form my perceptions into words that could be readily understood by the other – particularly when that other was male. Women were much more likely to immediately understand the hostile intent in language without needing an explanation. Though these gender distinctions do not always hold. So I was intrigued by the possibility that this comes about because of a language that isn’t geared towards female perception. I’ve had a look at the language she constructed and it does have words for things that you think ahhh yes, a word for that is good. For instance, it is a language rich in emotion words, for different types of love, anger, loneliness and so on. It is almost commonplace these days to see English as lacking in terms for love – that said, it does help you see the common thread between different love experiences – romantic love and love for your children have differences, and yet the intensity of feeling has a lot in common too.

If you look at the biblical world view, language is seen as of incredible importance. For instance , one title for Jesus is the Word. God creates by word. The Tower of Babel punishes human arrogance by the multiplication of languages so that they could not understand each other. I wonder whether one thing that makes us in the image of God (in distinction from animals) is that we have language. In a sinful world, language can be both illuminating and deceptive – it has power for good and evil.

Well, here you can see my first degree intersecting with my second (first honours in literature, then I did honours in theology).

Is the Easter bunny dropping by?

I had quite a few conversations about Santa (yay or nay? - in a nutshell - pretty much nay at our place - Santa is ackowledged as a nice story that isn't real) around Christmas, and today ran into my first Easter Bunny issue. Stuck in a long queue at the Post office (posting a birthday pressie to my twin - hello Addie!!!), a lady asked Sparky when the Easter Bunny was coming. Sparky looked very confused, and I suddenly realised we hadn't been talking about the Easter Bunny AT ALL .

This wasn't precisely intentional, it is just that the Easter Bunny isn't close to my heart. I don't remember ever believing in the Easter Bunny. My most vivid memory of the Easter Bunny is my father waking me up one Easter Sunday with the announcement "I have some good news, and some bad news. The bad news is the Easter Bunny is dead. The good news is your eggs were left before the Bunny died". Dad had gotten up to a dead bunny on the doorstep proudly deposited by our dog. Before you worry about my reaction, I was about 9-10 at the time and I thought this was the most hilarious thing ever - if a bit sad for the bunny. Usually Dad wakened us on Easter Sunday with the words Christ is Risen, but I guess he couldn't help himself that Easter after thinking up his quip.........

Anyway, I suddenly felt all confused and guilty myself. I hadn't prepared Sparky for this, and had no position or words ready! I quickly pointed to the chocolate stains around his face and said jokingly well the Bunny has already come today (he had been given eggs at preschool). She then seemed to be concerned at the lack of discipline of today's parents, that I couldn't keep the bunny until Sunday! I backtracked and explained that his eggs were waiting until Sunday, but this was at preschool. Afterwards, I made a comment to Sparky about the Easter Bunny coming on Sunday morning, and that this was the story we told. So I'm not sure what he makes of all this. We had only been talking to him about Jesus, even explaining eggs as being about new life, and suddenly out of nowhere bunnies hop into the picture! And now I'm wondering what he got told at preschool - it is a Christian one, so Jesus gets mentioned, but I'm not sure what gets said about bunnies.

So , people. What happens at your place at Easter re bunnies? (and chickens et al)

Good Friday introspection

Around this time of year I tend to engage in some self examination. I've been thinking lately about how you can love everybody. What often gets said by Christians is that love is an action, and so we choose to love in what we do, rather than necessarily feeling loving all the time. This is a good point, and yet I know that when people "love" me in that way I can often tell that they don't like me and that they are choosing to make an effort. I appreciate the effort, yet it makes me sad that they can't get over the negative feelings. So, I want to hold myself to a higher ideal - to make an attempt to see the good in people, to see the potential for good perhaps, and to try to have the feeling (if I can) as well as the action. That, I think - though very difficult - is the ideal. And meanwhile, yes, choose to love by action if I can't feel - but to do so so graciously that it doesn't come across as a gritted teeth EFFORT to love.

Boys' dreams

Sparky announced to me today, with a complete lack of originality for a boy, that when he grows up he wants to be a fireman. This follows on from his longheld desire to be a superhero. (I was a girly girl who wanted to be a ballerina and the like). It is easy to dismiss these dreams as just boyish bravado. Yet I a while ago I asked Sparky why he liked superheroes - expecting to hear that they are able to do anything, or are very strong. He told me he likes them because they help people. It struck me that this is something they have in common with superheroes. Is this something we downplay in our stereotyping of boys? That in their desire to be these kind of heroes, boys show an altruism very early on? We often these days see the desire to help as feminine. Sure, the heroism is active and public, and perhaps in that we see a masculine side to the altruism. But nevertheless, there are boys all over wanting to help and save people. What a pity that we tell them to be sensible instead. I don't know whether he will continue to want to be a fireman - the majority don't - but I hope he keeps that desire to help.

(and yes he does like Fireman Sam, and we have this toy!)

a big day

Just sharing the big triumph at our house today. Sparky has been toilet trained for over a year now but today had a first - he did the whole thing by himself without help either physical or verbal! You don't realise how many steps that is until you have to teach it - pull down pants, but don't pull them right off, get on seat - managing to get all relevant parts in, do it - all, not getting up half way through, wipe yourself, without removing copious amounts of paper from the roll, then put paper in toilet - not on floor, then flush - once, not several times , pull up pants - managing to get nothing folded over or stuck on the way, turn tap on, the cold one not the hot one, wet hands, then apply soap - not the entire container - rub and rinse hands, turn off tap and dry hands on a towel, not anything else that takes your fancy.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a goal for the year is on its way!
(and yes I did poke my head unobtrusively around the door to see how it was going, and so could see that he was doing all the right things.)

People of the Book

I just finished reading the book of this title by Geraldine Brooks, who wrote the excellent March (Little women from the father's view). This book, as you might have guessed, is about Jews, Muslims and Christians. It centers around the story of an illuminated haggadah (Jewish prayer book) - which was saved by muslims. Based on some actual events, although she goes back and constructs a history for the book. I enjoyed it, though not as much as I thought I would - perhaps my expectations were too high! It was competent, but not exciting. She for the most part is fairly balanced in how she presents the adherents of each religion - though I think the Jewish people fare slightly better, though this might be expected as she converted to Judaism ( though I understand for the sake of her son of a Jewish father, so that he might be a Jew). The message is obvious - that different peoples, cultures and religious understandings enrich each other rather than detracting from each other. I might want to have a greater emphasis on truth, but nevertheless, the message that humans are at their best when they are able to care for and even sacrifice for, those different from themselves, is a good one. If you have read it, let me know what YOU think!

Latest Sayings

Sparky: I love you even when you are naughty Mummy
Owl: tee (tree), bic (biccie), key, pixer (picture)

what we don't know

I have just started mentoring someone, and so I picked up John Mallison's book on mentoring which I had lying round the house. I opened it at a page which spoke about the qualities of a mentor. One thing that really struck me was that it spoke about the openness of a person, how we all have things about ourselves that are hidden from either ourselves or other people. It used a quadrant, where 1. known by all 2. known by us but hidden from others 3. known by others but hidden from ourselves 4. unknown by all. It was good if mentors had larger 1 quads and smaller 3 quads.

3 really got to me, and then a couple of days later a friend brought up this idea again, that we are often unaware of how we come across.

I've been wondering ever since what I am hiding from myself. Do I want to know or not? I guess it would be good ultimately to know, but kinda scary in the short term. Maybe I need to ask God to show me.

One experience like this I had when I was younger (though not strictly 3 - more how I was being misunderstood) - was that I came across to people as snobbish on first meeting when in reality I was very shy and was afraid that they wouldn't like me - and then they wouldn't because they thought I was judging them. It was very helpful to find this out!

oscar and cate

She may not have won an oscar this year .. but she is my pick for best dressed. And pregnant too - I just look like a round ball by that stage of my pregnancies (hmm being borderline 5 foot has something to do with it). Ok, I am a major Cate fan. If I could choose who I looked like, Cate would be the one. And if I could choose whose wardrobe I raided, Cate again.

Things I wish I knew before buying for a baby.

I typed this up for a pregnant friend so I thought I would sling it on here in case anyone found it useful - also so you can share your thoughts and I could pass those on to her as well - who knows we could maybe get a little manual going.....
NOTE: These are just my opinions after 2 boys. Others having different experiences may think differently!

Feeding
Buy a highchair with as few seams and crevices as possible – forget all the fancy stuff like padding – because you will be cleaning that thing after every meal for about a year and a half.
Bibs – both my boys worked out very quickly how to get these off. Velcro looks easy – and its easy for them too. Get large press stud fastening ones. Or just forgo them later on and accept that kids clothes do get stained.
If breastfeeding, keep those belly band things that you used to lengthen tops in pregnancy – great to fill in the gap and keep you warm when feeding.
Lots of plastic spoons – anything like me and mine, you will leave them behind everywhere.

Nappies and stuff
Sadly, with disposables, only huggies really work well, at least for night. You get your money’s worth from them. Next to that the aldi ones are OK.
Don’t get those special bins – they then charge you through the nose for refills. You will have to take the bag out daily anyway. And you get used to the smell of poo pretty quickly.
With a potty just get a basic cheapie, plus one of those inserts for the toilet.We had a super duper fancy potty for no 1 and my conclusion was it was just harder to clean.
And if you are going to use disposables, when people ask what to give you as a present say nappies!!! And get them to get you the size above newborn.
Change table is worth getting as saves your back.

Clothes.
For babies, the cheap classic stuff is much more useful . Let other people give you the cute going out stuff. Up to 6 months, all in one jumpsuits are easiest and most comfy. 6-12 months, I found leggings and a tee great for a crawler. If your kids are anything like both mine, at night you need warm pjs with feet in – both mine didn’t stay under the blanket – No 1 til about 2, and no 2 is going for the same time. Unless really hot, bonds suits for summer/spring and for winter, the very warm fleecy jobs.

Out and about
Something very light in a stroller, cause you lug that round a lot.
Nappy bag – get something that is practical AND stylish. You will be carrying it everywhere so do yourself a favour and have it look good.
A pouch is very handy IF your bub will go in it (no1 NO, no 2 YES) . And I never got, but wished I had, one of those sling things for very little bub to sleep in while you do stuff.
A portable highchair – didn’t have with first got with 2nd. Fantastic!!!! Just keep in the car.
A travel cot is worth the investment (we didn’t get one and kept borrowing my parents one).

Toiletries.
Depends on the kid, but mine really didn’t use powders, moisturisers, oils etc etc. All I needed for first 6 months was a top to toe J&J wash and nappy rash cream. After that used normal soap and a baby shampoo (DON’T get a cheap baby shampoo- cheap one hurt my kids’ eyes).

Toys
You WILL be given LOTS. Pre 6 months, a baby gym that you can fold up and take with you is great. Just buy off ebay. One thing I found great with both boys from about 6 months was a learn to walker (not the sit in ones, the push along ones) – get one that has another function like converts into a ride on.


Well , that’s all I can think of for now --------hope it helps!

(Just added a picture of a seamless easy clean highchair called the flair highchair, but it is pricy!)

Juno

We finally went out for our anniversary. We saw the movie Juno. It was good - the young actor who plays the title role is, as all are saying, very good. Without giving away the ending, I found myself very strongly wanting her to keep her baby and bring the baby up. Since becoming a mother I find the idea of someone other than myself raising my child one that causes me great distress. not because they woud do a bad job, but because I want to do it. quite apart from other considerations, this feeling is what keeps me from taking on full time work at the moment. I want to be their port in the storm, and the person who lights up their eyes when I enter the room.

Australia stops to say sorry

I wonder whether today will be another one of those moments “I can remember where I was when”.

I was at home with my kids watching the televised apology. If you aren’t aussie, and want to know what was going on today here , go visit this site http://www.sgalliance.org.au/

About time. Although I found some of Brendan Nelson’s inclusions in his speech today odd, to say the least (didn’t he know today was about saying sorry? Not to quibble over policy, for instance?) – how wonderful was it to see both sides of parliament join in the apology today, especially there was a time there when we thought we would never see it happen?

Yes, so much more needs to be done. But sorry is always a very good start. Even my 3 year old could understand that as I explained it to him this morning.

I added my apology to my facebook status today, and I join many other bloggers in adding a sorry post too. You hear people say that they weren’t responsible. Well, I am Australian, and my country was responsible – for that I am deeply sorry. I am also a white anglo-saxon Australian – I personally benefit from the social inequity in our society in which an indigenous person may expect 17 less years of life on average. For that I am very sorry.

You also hear people say that the past generations who were responsible had good intentions. There are a couple of things to say to that. Firstly, it wasn’t that long ago. The policies that resulted in the stolen generations only ended about 1970. Secondly, people of good intention need to always be ready to say sorry when they cause harm, even if they did not mean to. Their intentions may somewhat explain what happened, but they do not excuse it. I am the descendent of Australians who lived when those policies were operative. I apologise for them. I do not know what they did at the time, whether they were actively involved or they passively made no protest. But whether they actively harmed or passively did not help, either sin needs an apology.

I want to tell you about my Grandma, dead now for almost 25 years. She was a loving, generous, sacrificial Christian woman. She was known for this. I remember how I thought as a child I had an extra Uncle, and I only discovered later that he was a man my grandmother took in to help him out – supposedly for 6 weeks, but it turned into years. There are many other stories like this. She was conservative politically, and I would not be surprised if she thought these policies were a good idea at the time. Certainly though, she voted for governments that enacted these policies. She was a woman of good intentions, and I’m pretty sure I know what she would want to do if she had the knowledge we have today. I’m pretty sure she would want to say sorry. As her granddaughter, I say sorry.

Now, lets try to make things better.