Enchanted forest

Isn't this gorgeous? I wish I could justify buying it. You know how partial I am to owls! Don't even ask how much it costs. It is from a website called cocoon couture. They have other smaller less pricey things too - some gorgeous cushions and santa sacks - do you realise it is only 3 months to Chrstmas?

The complexity of children

One of the engrossing activities we parents like to indulge in is defining and categorising our kids. And yet my experience so far, particularly after no 2, is that while this is an enjoyable and even necessary activity, as it helps us to understand and appreciate them, they do defy our neat descriptions of them. At 19 months and almost 4, my two boys are already individuals of sometimes alarming complexity.

Sparky has recently learnt to read by himself. This kind of feat, typical of him, has confirmed my description of him as very verbal. (and by the way, shows that we have to be careful of applying general statements about gender, such as that boys arent as verbally gifted, to specific children). And yet, I was recently reminded that I can't ignore the other abilities and interests he might have. Sure, he will be probably be a bookish kid. But that doesn't mean I won't have to be dragged along to Saturday morning sport (you can see how excited I am about the prospect of that...). He doesn't seem particularly sporty to me as yet, but even if he has no huge talent in that area, he might still really enjoy it. What reminded me is that he suddenly came out with a mathematical statement he had worked out (5 + 5 = 10, he worked it out from hands and feet he tells me, and wasn't told by anyone). I had been so focussed on his reading I hadn't been talking to him about numbers or really doing anything about his numeracy recently.

Well, on to Scout (hehehe yes, finally owl is renamed, and all your suggestions helped guide my thinking ). Scout is what is often called a typical boy - though I am a little wary of saying this about him, as if his brother isn't therefore as masculine. Anyway, Scout is adventurous and rebellious. A typical stunt of his is when he learnt how to climb on to the dining table and spent the first day doing that continually, looking at me knowing he was about to get in trouble, and clapping himself. He is the kind of kid who does something daring, hurts himself, and just has to try again immediately to see if it will still hurt this time. He loves cars and trains. Yet to just define him that way limits him. He is also far more interested in nurturing play than his brother at the same age. He loves cuddly toys and dolls, and is already pretending they are babies and looking after them. If he sees a baby in the supermarket he spends the rest of the time looking for them.

It is good to recognise their distinct personalities and to therefore being looking to cater to their special interests and needs. But in doing so, I am trying not to at the same time close off doors they might want to explore. God makes them more wonderful than we can imagine or describe

Olympic games revealing

picture by Ricardo Stuckert/PR from http://www.agenciabrasil.gov.br under creative commons licence

I got up early this morning to watch the Opening ceremony replay with Sparky, who is very excited about his first Olympics (last time he was in the womb). I had a wonderful time sharing this with him - I got a bit teary! He and his 18 month old brother watched a lot more than I thought they would - I guess spectacle is a genre that goes across age.

Sparky thought the 2008 drummers were a camera trick and was amazed when I explained in this case it wasn't so.

The ceremony was beautiful, lavish, stylish and dignified. I have to confess I still think Sydney's were better. This is probably because my taste is Australian! I liked the combination of cheekiness and transcendence in Sydney. It is a very Australian mix - we don't take things too seriously - and yet, deep down - at times, we do want to. It seemed to me that in fact Sydney while less dignified reached for the heavens more (the whole Eternity thing for instance). Is this the difference between a country whose government is based on a materialist doctrine and one that while secular still has some more overt Christian influence? The ceremony did however have a great message of care for the environment, as well as the usual messages of peace among the peoples of the earth.

The ceremony also celebrated the major inventions first invented by the Chinese. I knew some of this before, and it doesn't surprise me, as working for a chinese australian church, I am well aware of how smart Chinese people are! - I think the only reason they didn't conquer the world is that at a crucial point they became, politically, internally rather than externally focussed.

What should I call him?

Still looking for a new blogging nickname for this fella. Take a look at that face - this is pretty much what he is like! Any suggestions?

Latest Sayings

Sparky: I love you even when you are naughty Mummy
Owl: tee (tree), bic (biccie), key, pixer (picture)

Will Owl make it to adulthood?

Owl turned one last Saturday. He has also entered into the typical 12 month old assertion of independence alternating with separation anxiety, so he is driving me up the wall at the moment.

What is really worrying me though, is his personality's particular combination of cleverness, ingenuity, sneakiness and sense of adventure. Added to being no 2 kid, this means I am constantly just in the nick of time (or not) to save him from some kind of hair-raising misadventure. Last week, I was staying at my parent's place looking after my 89 year old grandmother (who lives behind them) while they were away. Owl got into scary situations twice while at her house. Probably because with my grandmother and 2 kids, it was really like looking after 3 kids, in a house that did not cater for kids, and so my attention was even more diverted. Owl managed to :1) within a minute of inattention , because both Sparky and grandmother were talking at me, get into her laundry, take out all the cleaning products left on a ground level open shelf, throw them around so some leaked out. I got to him BEFORE he drank any (phew!)
2) My grandmother had made herself a tea without milk and left it in the middle of the kitchen bench. I was standing in the kitchen supervising the use of the water fountain by Sparky and my grandmother (don't ask!), holding Owl. I wasn't even right next to the bench, and the tea was about a body length from him. But seeing his opportunity to try one of these things he is never allowed to touch, he suddenly dove out of my arms across the bench to put his fingers in the tea. I caught him and pulled out his fingers, and ran them under water for 10 mins. No lasting damage.

Then tonight, as I was reading Sparky a story in his bedroom while Owl played on the floor, he climbed up on a plastic box, pulled open a drawer in a mini set of drawers Sparky has, and tried to use that as a step to climb up to the top of the drawers. I took him down and put him elsewhere in the room, and continued the story. As soon as I averted my eyes to read the book, he dashed back to it, and started climbing again, and of course the drawer couldn't support him and he fell and scratched inside his mouth a little with his fingernail. I was impressed by his understanding of the step principle, but wished he had also worked out the necessity for stability! As Pope said "A little learning is a dangerous thing; drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring". Too clever for his own good - but completely lacking in caution! arrgghh! does anyone else have a little adventuresome one?

owls

Here they are! The mostly green one is Owl's, the mostly blue one is Sparky's. Posed on our dining chair, you can see Owl's arm near floor. I have put them slightly side on so you can see the different colour backs. Made using felt and fabric - the fabric is by designer Amy Butler, who does gorgeous stuff. You can find the original mini mockup by the very clever Prue here - mine is larger of course, I have used fabric patches, and I have omitted the legs - while very cute, I was making these for hugging in bed, so thought the legs may be a bit scratchy for that purpose. I attached the wings correctly on Sparky's, but abandoned beauty on Owl's for just making them very securely attached on his, as he is still at the chewy stage. Oh, and worth noting I used synthetic felt, but as Sparky's is already pilling (he cuddles his in bed) next time will shell out for wool felt.

Next year...........my goals

Sparky: he starts preschool and turns 4 this year. Goals: to be dressing himself, doing the whole toilet thing himself from start to finish – i.e. he is toilet trained but still likes some assistance, eating a greater variety of food, doing some help in house, further along with school readiness, starting to learn to swim and maybe music. To be able to answer all the questions about God he has had recently! To sum up - greater confidence and independence.

Owl: his second year. Goals: to get some mummy time while Sparky not there, and learn all those huge second year things – words colours, shapes etc! To start his moral education. To sum up – to provide a good, secure, learning environment.

Me: to be more on top of the housework now I don’t have the baby excuse. To get some time out to myself. To have some couple time with my husband. To spend more time praying. To get a topic for doctorate. (see how time features heavily??). While looking after and teaching my kids, to make sure that they grasp the depth of love I have for them and God has for them and most of all, to enjoy the life I have been given everyday to the full.

piccie from here

Owl walks!

On Friday Owl started walking (well one very tentative step). Very proud mum of my 10 month old. I have put up a photo from his dedication day of Sparky and owl dancing at Yum Cha (yummmmmmm - a real plus to working at a chinese church).

My blog has been very domestic recently! I will try to put in some more thinky pieces soon......I've been asked to write some theology stuff so that might help me get the brain in gear.

possum witchery and owl stitchery

Yes, Possum magic is a lovely book. No, we won't be reading it again anytime soon. Why? We have had a resident possum since Sunday morning. He makes a lot of noise in the evening (of course it could be a she, but its toilet habits suggest a boy to me ;) - see below), which is difficult enough with 2 small kids in the house, but what is starting to make me regret the possum's protected status is that it has discovered a vent we have in the kitchen ceiling is perfect for weeing through. Fortunately this does not target anything major (like the stove...) but unfortunately it is starting to leave a stain on our wood floor - I need to move a bucket under there - I had just had newspaper, but this possum seems to have a large bladder. Plus when the possum awoke early last night, while I was cooking dinner, I kept freaking out that it would wee on me as I moved about. We have booked in the possum removalist (expensive!!) but they can't come until next week....

But in happier animal news, I have started making the owl softie for Owl. Prue made me a gorgeous pattern, and it is starting to look good. Of course, Sparky wants me to make him one too. See here for the mini mock up Prue did, though mine is different colours and larger - you will have to wait and see.

a big weekend

On Sunday, Owl was dedicated to God (the baptist version of Christening). Many friends turned up for the day, and also I had the wonderful privilege of baptising people - I love this particular part of a pastor's job! I'm very feminine about it - I'm so happy I hug them when they come out of the water! Talking about owls, I am about to make a little owl for Owl (see this wonderful friend's blog, who has designed one for me! - thanks Prue!) So, in his honour, a little Owl story -at all of 10 months, he has worked out when TV shows are about to finish when the closing music comes on, and looks up and waves and says buh buh (which we think is bye bye). Is he watching too much TV ;)? That's Owl in the piccie - not a recent piccie. but a favourite.

On Saturday, I went out for my grandmother's birthday - she turned 89 - Happy Birthday Marty! (there is a long involved and way too boring story about why we call my grandmother that .....)

Well besides the big days in my family, other, obsiously less important ;) things happened this weekend - I haven't been blogging for a few days because all I wanted to do was talk election, and I didn't want to bore or annoy you all by being overly partisan. Fortunately, my family (husband, parents, brother and sister in law) were all in agreement over the election, so we spent much time on the phone over Friday and Saturday - let's just say we were all happy and much bonding ensued. What was a funny little coincidence was that my parents were in Howard's electorate and my brother and sister in law in Rudd's!

Alas, I was not as happy about the outcome of Sunday night - Aussie idol. still, I had a great night in with friends making jokes about the telecast - almost as good as watching the Eurovision Song contest.

More spiritual development

A couple of interesting conversations with Sparky yesterday.

First, he had been in time out twice (once from his dad once from me) for being aggressive with his brother. He had also at this time been pretending to be a super hero. He then wouldn't put his teatowel cape back on and was sobbing - I ased why, and he said "I will never ever be a super hero". Why not? becuase super heroes are good, not naughty and they help people. They also fly, according to Sparky, but apparently that is not as definitive of them as the moral virtues of a hero! We had a big talk about how all of us be naughty sometimes, and that he can already be a super hero, and that God will have lots of super hero things for him to do in life. Cape went back on . So, lovely internalisation of desire for goodness - but now need him to feel that him being good isn't a hopeless case.

Secondly, at the shops, he suddenly says "come along Jesus, hold my hand" and I look down (Sparky is holding my hand) and the other hand is outstretched holding on to well what looks likes nothing. Then we get to the car and I am told to strap Jesus in as well. Sparky then says "it is a good thing we didn't leave Jesus at the shops". Very true. Then he says "jesus says he loves everybody" . Then Jesus got a running commentary from Sparky about what could be seen out the window. Jeus was kinda being treated like an imaginary friend, but still I thought it was gorgeous - so relational.

I feel like I am leaving Owl out recently, so his latest thing is he has stood by himself unsupported - yesterday for quite a while, because he was so cranky with me for putting him down, he just stood and cried for a while and then calmed down , realised he was standing up and so sat down with a plop. Quite a funny sight actually - poor fella.

childrearing and personality

Bhaer and I have been thinking a lot about how our parenting methods need to take account of personality. We are both very aware, for instance, that as introverts, we shouldn't see Sparky's extraversion as naughtiness just because it is different (and sometimes annoying...).

Just the other day, Sparky told me he liked squiggly things - like worms and drawing squiggles. This made me think of the very basic personality test of what shape you like. There are 5 shapes and one is a squiggle. I wondered whether it worked for him. Well, not completely - for a 3 year old he isn't messy and disorganised. But he is "creative, flamboyant, dramatic, and witty" and "very easily bored, requiring constant stimulation". See here. You can check out yourself - I'm a circle, with a little squiggliness.

I have often wondered what his Myers Brigg type is - it is hard to know for a young child, but we are guessing an ENFJ (though not as sure about middle letters).

Owl is still a baby, so hard to guess at him, but he is generally quieter (not always), and more self directed.

I'm thinking I might like to look into books like the one pictured above - which I found here on Amazon.

What about your kids? How do their personality types shape how you parent?

what do you do with them?

I am interested to know what others with small kids do with them all day.

I have this guilt thing that I should be providing just the right amount of stimulation in a range of areas. That I should be highly organised and thoughtful about this. Those who know me as the unstructured person I am will probably guess this is not the case. With Sparky, I did provide a lot of stimulation, basically because he demands a lot of attention as an extravert and I had to think of things to do with him so I didn't get bored. Then for the first few months post Owl, I was really busy with him as the frequent feeder, bad sleeper he was, and so Sparky was left to fend for himself a lot more (self directed play is good, right?). Now Owl himself is playing, as he is now at the cruising round the furniture stage and opening doors etc. But Owl is a lot more naturally self directed, and Sparky has learnt to be. Though he now tries to organise me with what he has decided to do - yesterday I kept coming into the kitchen finding ingredients and implements for baking cakes had been taken out - Yes Sparky had decided we should bake - he knew what to get out, too! Actually Sparky has taken to turning off the TV in the morning and telling me he has finished with the TV now - I am starting to get the impression from this and many other incidents that Sparky may be a structured personality - a J, in Myers Brigg speak.

I actually allow myself to be directed by him to some extent - so I don't tend to organise craft, for instance, but if he asks for it, will provide it. So he does paint, draw, use playdough, use stickers on a regular basis - though highly structured craft is left for playgroup. I always read a book to him at bedtime, but often he asks for others during the day too. He has been learning to read as well, because he started reading words by himself almost a year ago, I nearly fell over in astonishment and figured maybe I should teach him too if he is interested- but this goes up and down depending on whats going on for me. I used to put on music for him and play music and sing and dance with him before owl, but I don't really get round to this at the moment. Maybe when Owl is a little older it will be something both can do, and I might do it then.

Poor Owl, I keep remembering that at that age I spent lots more time with Sparky, teaching him to walk, showing him things, talking to him, reading books - how do second children learn anything? ?

I find with 2 kids that I have more housework to do, that can't be put off, and as Owl is a light sleeper, I can't do it when he is asleep. So that means they get left to play more by themselves than when I had 1.

my mind says they are going ok, and that this is good for them, to learn to amuse themselves, but my fears say I must get the right amount of everything in! and maybe I am failing them if I don't....

catch up (plus some discussion of gifts)

I haven't blogged for a week, so i thought I would do a catch up blog.

The reason for my extended silence was Sparky's 3rd bday, Bhaer's study schedule, Sparky getting a tummy bug, Owl getting his first tooth, and my work schedule.

It all happens at once doesn't it?!!

Sparky's bday involved lots of assembling - a bike, a swing set, a blow up trampoline (still haven't finished the swing set...). And contrary to popular stereotypes, I am better at this than Bhaer, so a lot of it became my job. I will certainly be much more alert to assembly requirements at Christmas. Could be a deal breaker...

Sparky certainly in my opinion received too much, though this was due to the love and generousity of all the lovely people in our lives. (Bhaer and I only gave him 2 pressies - a bike and a book.) Perhaps I am misremembering, but children seem to have many more toys today than when I was growing up - what do others think?

As well as Sparky's gifts, we put together a gift for a child with less than him - we got a shoebox ready for OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD. We chose to fill a box for a boy 2-4 yo - i.e. the same as Sparky. Sparky seemed most concerned that we had to buy a toothbrush - I think this truly brought home to him how much less some children have. He chose what we gave (well I chose what we would give, but he chose which one of each thing). He chose everything that he would have liked (which I think is deep love from 3yo) and has shown no desire to claim the things for himself. We had a bit of a hiccup with buying all this - Bhaer met up with me at the end of the shop and paid for the entire supermarket shop while I went and fed Owl. He then left the bag containing the pressies at the supermarket accidently. So we had to go back the next day and go round the shelves again and get these again (not pay for them, the supermarket were understanding), and while this annoyed me, it ended up I think helping Sparky to really get the whole concept worked out. If you are interested in doing it, see here for the list of what to pack and previous link for where to send.