I had thought I had grown in how I dealt with people hurting me - but recently I think that I have grown in forbearance - being able to turn the other cheek , turn away harsh words with gentle and so on - but not as much in forgiveness - which strikes me that while an improvement it is still quite external. And really I haven't got to the heart of the matter then. These musings have come about through studying Joseph in Genesis - he used to be one of my least favourite biblical heros (see the arrogance with the dreams and the tricks with the cup and money), but since re-studying him I am in awe at his forgiveness for the brothers who sold him. The reconciliation between the brothers is like that of the prodigal son and the father (see the picture by Rembrandt). So, thinking about moving beyond simply bearing with people to having a giving generous heart.
6 comments:
I find that the more I understand about people the easier it is to forgive. But it's only a relative "easier", because it is in fact rather hard to do. Important though.
I don't seem to run into the being hurt by people thing very often, in fact I can't think of anything since the time my sister yelled obscenities at the entire extended family back in April last year - understanding that it was due to her (undiagnosed but almost certain) bipolar disorder helps but I still have this need to have her apologise that I haven't quite managed to let go of.
I tend to find myself being infuriated by people which I suspect means I need to work on being more patient and less arrogant.
Have you read the Henri Nouwen book 'The Return of the Prodigal Son'? His whole book is devoted to his discovering of the picture on your post and his journey to see it and its message. Well recommended!
Yes - I agree that tolerance is often the easier option, especially when the other party shows no sign of even realising they have done something wrong.
Have you read Miroslav Volf's book Free of Charge: Giving and forgiving in a culture stripped of grace? Highly recommended. I also found this Lewis quote very helpful on a similar line of thought to this post.
Oh, here are a couple of good quotes from the Volf book.
Mim - totally understand that need for an apology.
Andrew - I have read and own the Nouwen book, which made me think of using the pic - love it, and love nouwen generally (eg the whole wounded healer thing)
Byron - hi! welcome to my blog! I have read Volf and he is another favourite, but I haven't read that book - so I think I better hunt down a copy.
Thanks - I've been reading from time to time for a while, though this must have been my first comment.
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