Monday, December 29, 2008
Memories...
I have always thought that memory was one of the things that give you identity, meaning and relationship. I still think that, and so when people ask me whether we remember each other in heaven I say of course. But visiting my grandmother I have seen the other side of memory in this faulty world of ours. As she slips further nto dementia, she is the happiest she has been in years. One reason is I believe she can't recall those things which gave her regret and bitterness. What seems to stay with her the most is the people she loves. She can't always remember names - but she remembers the relationships between people better. She always remembers who I am, even if sometimes my name escapes her. Perhaps ths is what is behind the biblical use of remembrance - God no longer remembers our sin, but remembers us and so saves us. It is not then that God can't recall our sin, but that like a lost memory it no longer has any power.
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5 comments:
My grandfather has dementia. I don't think he remembers my name. However, every time I see him he perks up. He must have fond memories of me.
Of the person who has hurt me the most I can no longer remember what it was that they did to me (many things). I see the forgetting as part of my forgiving. God is good to help me to forget.
One of the things that constantly surprises me is my Nan's reaction when I visit. I've aged almost 20 years since she first began suffering with dementia, and now she is unable to walk, hold herself up, speak or feed herself. But her eyes still light up with recognition and she smiles when I give her a hug. Even better, she glows with happiness when she's taken to the church services and hears the songs praising Christ. I've no doubt that God is holding her firm even as all her other faculties fade. God is very gracious.
Yes, my grandma is happier now that she has vascular dementia than she has been in years! I think that she too has forgotten a lot of the things that caused her pain and bitterness, but even better, in the midst of her dementia she has managed to put her trust in what God has done for her through Jesus!! Obviously the Holy Spirit is not limited by dementia :). Which is all good because I thought I'd managed to kill her today by taking her out in the heat to the pool where she lives so that she could have a gentle dip while watching her great-grandsons' prowess at swimming - both things she has enjoyed doing in the past. Not today. It was too hot, I should have put her in a wheelchair instead of getting her to walk with her frame and she had a 'turn' at the edge of the pool. I thought she might be having a stroke and dying, but when the staff got her inside she seemed to recover ok. Not that it would be a bad thing for her to go to heaven now, but I didn't really want to be the one causing it to happen!
hi all! it is interesting how this experience of the joy of relationships staying in dementia seems to be a normal one. Gives me some hope for the future.
and hi Juliette! missed seeing you at playgroup party - I had an awful tummy bug. Are you coming next year?
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