the week that was......

What a week.............
My laptop died (new motherboard needed. Not sure can afford). So I may not blog as frequently.
My mobile died.
All 4 of us got a bad tummy bug with cold symptoms as well. All still recovering from this.
I coped with the first 2 things with equanimity, but the 4 of us being sick did me in.

What should I call him?

Still looking for a new blogging nickname for this fella. Take a look at that face - this is pretty much what he is like! Any suggestions?

archive meme aka who's that blogger?

Prue tagged me for a meme. It is an archive one to share 5 old posts. I have decided to use it as a handy dandy introduction to me and my blog. The 5 posts are to be about family, friends, me, something I love, and anything I like. So here goes:

Family: I am surrounded by men in my family. One of the most important men in my life.
Friends: Here is the purpose of my blog
Me: Why did I call my blog even the smallest?
Something I love: So many options. Here are 2 little examples - and this helps you with knowing who is who in my blog. I am still looking for a new nickname for Owl. He has turned into an adventurous intrepid toddler - any ideas?
Anything I like: here is one of the posts where I talk about my faith and my friends - love for God and love for others - pretty much sums it up for me.

And a note to my husband (Bhaer) - you haven't made it into one of these posts, but you are a very important man in my life who I love very much.

A lot of my regular readers who are bloggers have already been tagged, so that leaves Andrew, John, Les, Mim and Nicole.

what are we teaching our boys about masculinity?

There has been a lot in the media about the sexualisation of little girl's clothing. I haven't really had to deal with this, having boys, but I have had to deal with a related problem with boy clothing.

Boy's fashion, especially after say age 2, is based around a notion of masculinity as rough, tough, aggressive and transgressive. This is a problem when buying for Sparky, as he (and I have no problem with this) doesn't like anything scary looking. This rules out anything piratical, or any but the cutest monsters, or any skull and cross bones. You would be surprised how little this leaves. The other day I was buying him winter Pjs from cotton on, and had terrible difficulty choosing which ones to buy, as almost every pattern broke one of his rules or my rules. You see, I also have rules on his clothing: nothing that makes out he is a little soldier - camo, guns etc. And nothing that makes out he is a rotten difficult child. These 2 categories, added to those Sparky doesn't like - which I have issues with as well for a 3 year old - leave very little. You would be surprised how many slogan tees for boys have a slogan which denigrates the wearer. My sons aren't little brats/monsters/troublemakers - well, mostly not;) - and I certainly don't want to tell them so on their clothing. I don't think it is OK for my boys to be aggressive or social nuisances. I have noticed that very often parents do seem to think aggression in their boys is something to be secretly proud of.

I think this is the other side of the coin of the sexualised girl's fashion. Both trends paint a very narrowly defined idea of gender which I think goes against values you would want to instil in a child of any gender. What happened to the clothing I remember as a child? it seemed to be more kid like and less genderised. I pity the mums of girls stuck with the pink and more pink.

So, anyway, Sparky wears a lot of stripes, checks and plain clothing. Which is nice and tasteful anyway. The picture, by the way, is of the lovely kid's fashion by seed - which seems to avoid a lot of the issues I am talking about.

two boys in a bedroom and the little one said......

nothing as it turns out, and neither did the big one. Yes we have successfully got our boys to share a room , aged 3.5 and 15 months. After a successful camp with all of us sharing a room, we have done 2 nights at home and it has worked. Both seem very happy. I have now got all the toys out of my living room into a dedicated playroom. Down the track we plan to have bunk beds, perhaps like these ikea ones. Not now, or for some time, because Owl is a fearless adventurer.

a cup of tea solves everything

well not really, but it is the name of a Facebook group - there are 216 cup of tea groups by the way!

I do like my cuppa. When I had to wear a heat sensitive dot at Theo College to measure stress, I would start looking relaxed as soon as I put the kettle on. I like tea rather than coffee - well I like the taste of coffee, but since it makes me act, in the words of one friend, as if I am on speed, I generally avoid it. I have grown to appreciate tea very much - and for those who know the differences between tea people, I like Earl Grey, Russian Caravan and Lapsang Souchoung - and the occasional Chai.

I have just made an important discovery about myself. I have for a while had a general dissatisfaction with the mugs I owned, but since many of these mugs not only do the job well, but look Ok as well, I found it hard to pinpoint why. No longer. I bought myself some cheap teacups and saucers (see piccie for pattern - willow by churchill) from the supermarket on sale (about 2.60 a set!) and have realised that the reason for dissatisfaction is that I am not a mug person. I am actually, as it turns out a teacup and saucer person, and I just needed to reach my mid 30s to admit this to myself. Ah the joy of this admission! The mug and the tea cup are for different purposes. The mug is very efficient. It fits more tea in. It can be carried around more easily. You can use the mug as you go round the house doing chores. Now here is the downfall of the mug. The mug is the cup of the workplace. It is the cup of swallows between doing other things. But the teacup! The teacup is for time out. It has the luxury and relaxation of a nineteenth century afternoon tea of a lady of leisure. For those few minutes with my teacup, the clamour of the day recedes. As an added bonus, the saucer means you don't have to deal with the whole coaster sticking to the bottom of the thing.

So - are you a teacup or mug user? What type of hot drink? Or are you perhaps one of those who (I can hardly believe it is true, but I know it is) who do not partake of hot drinks at all?

Is it just me?

Does anyone else do this? I have a little book I write favourite recipes in - one side adult, the other kid oriented. I write down my own little changes and tips when I copy recipes. I take this when I go away so that I can cook my own recipes. I lent it to my mother when I had my youngest so that she could cook food for my eldest from the recipes he was was used to eating. I lost it for a while (which was quite distressing!) but recently found it when I did a big clean up. But here's the morbid thing - I make sure my husband knows where it is in case I get run over by a bus. I reason that it's hard enough to lose your mum, without losing all your favourite reassuringly familiar food as well.

In other news (using the word in the broadest sense), Sparky just got his winter shoes, and at 3.5 years, he is now wearing (gasp!) size 11. By my reckoning, he will have the same size as me by around age 7. Which will be handy - stilettos go down a treat with the other boys in the playground LOL.

The black balloon

I saw this film on my birthday. I enjoyed it immensely, despite, or perhaps because, I spent most of the film in tears. It is about a family with 2 sons - one autistic, one not. I gather the director /co writer Elissa Down had 2 autistic brothers. The film shows the difficulties but also the joys as this family not only survives but grows in love. The love of the mother for her 3 children (she has a baby during the movie timeline) is strong and uncomplicated. She is a very capable woman. The father is less so, and yet he still copes and loves. I found it a movie affirming of the worth of all children, and also affirming of the struggle yet triumph of motherhood.

Raising children in community

I've blogged about this topic before, but it hit me again this week to wonder how much more stressed women are in childrearing since the advent of the nuclear family and women being isolated at home all day with young kids.

It came to mind because I spent Tuesday this week at my cousin's house, tag team childcare, as she and I had various things we had to get done during that day and so we pooled our resources and I stayed at her place for the day (Thanks R!) At times, both of us were there - sharing looking after the kids and working on our computers. The kids always had one of us ready to pay attention to them, if not both of us. I really enjoyed the day - being able to chat occasionally and share the duties. It brought to mind other days where I have spent the day with other women and their children, and we have commented that the day seems easier and faster when you do it together. Now, it isn't always convenient or desirable to do this, but I think such a model reflects older cultural village style society, and I reckon this is how we are intended to do it. If only we didn't think that this means we are failing, and that going it alone is some kind of test of motherhood!

By the way if you were wondering why I haven't blogged for a while - it was my birthday a week ago, my husband's been away, and my mum is in hospital, among just some of the things going on.........