Sparky's five

Sparky turned 5 on Friday. In time honoured tradition (well from last year) - I give you a happy birthday post with youtube. Here is the song Sparky wants every night - I have to admit I make up my own words (which usually involve both boys' names and lots of love yous).Sparky, you are so inquisitive, kind, affectionate, talkative, intelligent and friendly - I love you greatly.

Gleek alert

Let me confess:

I am a gleek.

Recipe meme response

Cecily gave a recipe for charcoal corn cobs, all the way from Pakistan. Yum!

Easiest risotto ever (in answer to a meme)

Prue tagged me for a recipe meme she was tagged for by Nicole.

The idea is you take at least one ingredient the same as the tagger's recipe and put up a new recipe on your blog.

Rules:
Choose one ingredient from my recipe and post a recipe using this ingredient on your blog, linking back to the previous blogs that have posted a recipe.
- Then tag four new people, and we will see how it grows.
- To keep it exciting please post within a week of receiving the tag

Prue did a moroccan chicken casserole
Nicole did a creamy chicken casserole.
Ally ( the origin) did an apple and pumpkin risotto

I'm going with the oil or garlic or stock (take your pick).

I've chosen a baked risotto, as someone who loves risotto but really can't always be bothered standing there stirring. This is easy and yummy comfort food.

Baked lemon & basil risotto. Serves 4 by itself or 6 with meat.

2 tbs olive oil or the spray if watching fat
2 leeks sliced
grated rind of one lemon.
2 crushed garlic cloves
2 cups arborio rice
6 cups of vegetable or chicken stock (This is the trick - by adding more liquid - a 3 to 1 rather than 2 to 1 ratio, you can put it in the oven and leave - give it a go with other risottos)
at least 1/2 cup torn basil, or more to taste
at least 1/4 cup grated parmesan or more to taste
salt and freshly cracked black pepper

Preheat oven to 200 C
Heat oil in frypan over medium heat. Add leek, garlic and rind and fry til soft
Put in casserole dish and add rice and stock and stir. Cover and bake 40 mins at least, or until at texture you desire.
Remove and stir in basil and parmesan and season to taste. Sit a couple of minutes to thicken and then serve.

Options:
Instead of parmesan, use a slice of brie on top.
Can add chicken in if precooked.
Can serve with veal/pork/fish/salad.
Put some white wine in instead of some of the stock.

Adapted from a Donna Hay recipe.

I tag Kristen, Cecily, Mim and Andrew - only if you want to. And Cecily and Andrew cause wanted to see the difference between what the husband puts and what the wife puts!!!

No ideas what to post, so here is a photo

Totally out of inspiration. So look at my boys - Sparky (almost 5) behind Scout (almost 2 3/4).

eccentricity

My 2 year old, Scout, just gave me an insight into how others might see me. He brought me over my new box of cotton buds and said yours Mummy! and proceeded to get me some out. I realised I am the only person in the house that uses them. And I use them fairly frequently - I don't like the feeling of dirty waxy ears. And then realised it is probably odd to keep them in the living room. Which I seem to have got into the habit of recently- I hasten to add we have a small bathroom without much storage room. I had an image of myself as an elderly lady with my economy sized pack of cotton buds, a house littered with used buds scattered everywhere, and trying to give them away to any visitors.

And I realised this was a possible eccentricity. And started to wonder what other eccentricities I had. There is the not liking socks thing, as it feels my feet can't breathe, just for starters.

Btw, Scout has been sick the last 2 days but seems to be on the mend. And I have been very busy, hence only 4 posts for August!

Stitches and Craft show

I went to this show yesterday with Prue and her twin Yvette - she talks about it here. We had a wonderful time without our kids and we all spent more money than intended.

I bought some hand printed red birch fabric from Ink and Spindle. I've taken a photo of it and will put it up soon. I'm thinking of making something Christmassy - perhaps as a motif fabric on stockings?

I also bought something from Prints Charming - it is hush hush though because I am making a gift. Last year I made their Christmas decorations - a lovely scando Noel. As per usual, I didn't put a photo up on my blog - so Prue has made me promise to do so soon.

I bought a couple other gifts from various other places, and envied Prue the wonderful fabric she bought from Ink and Spindle and from Cloth. I'm sure she will share it on her blog! Edit: she has

Psalms - singing faith in the midst of it all - sermon series

I'm in the middle of planning my next sermon series. Our church theme this year is on having hope through faith. I've just finished a series on Romans and just about to do one on Psalms. Any suggestions on which Psalms I should preach on? I'm trying to get a good representative sample both of the content o the book and the reality of human experience

womanhood and drop dead diva

We have just started a study series looking at womanhood with the 16-21 year old women at church. We had a fantastic discussion in our first one, particularly about the conflicting messages society sends women - for instance that you should be loved for who you are (as long as you are underweight, under 30 and constantly well groomed). That motherhood is very important - but that you are a nobody without a flourishing career.

I found at the ancient age of 35 I could contribute a lot to the discussion of what it is like to be a woman. For instance, I know at that age I was full of self righteous assertions that I would grow old gracefully. Now, as the first wrinkles and grey hairs appear, I have started to understand the measures many women take to keep a semblance of youth.

Then last night I watched the new TV show Drop Dead Diva. Having read the promo material I expected to see a fat woman as the star - in fact she was an attractive woman in her early 30s who was somewhat overweight, and looked like many women do at her age (that's her in the picture above, Brooke Elliot) - except in TVland, of course. I enjoyed the show and think on the whole it might be good as a corrective on this sort of thing - well except that almost every other woman on the pilot show was skinny. Still Tvland...

Well, I better stop gazing anxiously in the mirror at the obviously Botox free forehead I am developing and go back to looking at my Bible, which declares me to be of a great worth not dependent on my outward appearance. Hang on, is that a grey hair in my eyebrow....

one of the most difficult tasks of parenting

Today Sparky got a bad splinter. He made a great commotion over getting it out. Bhaer was meant to do it, cause his eyesight is better, but he was too tenderhearted and was taking too long with no success so I had to step in, hold Sparky down and quickly though I'm sure painfully scratch it out. Sparky thanked me immediately though when he realised that I had got it out in a couple of seconds, which was good after all the screaming.

I felt terrible. But it had to be done. And done quickly. I also felt bad because I lost my temper in the middle of it all and told my frightened child off.

What a terrible tightrope we walk as parents, doing things for a child's good that are painful at the time (shades of Hebrews 12:11) and having to work out when that discipline is warranted and when not, and how we should go about it. Sometimes we will make good decisions (like getting the splinter out) and sometimes bad(like losing my temper). Sometimes we will fail our children by being too indulgent or inconsistent, and at other times we will fail them by being overly rigid or unfair. Parenting requires the patience of Job and the wisdom of Solomon. Though I do recall that Job did do some complaining and Solomon did some foolish things.

And all I can do is keep trying to love as much as I can, apologise whenever I need to, and pray. hard.

the lazy crafter strikes again

I hardly ever get around to doing craft and even less often do I get around to showing it to you. I would call myself the armchair crafter except that indeed thats where you usually do do craft. Maybe I'm an internet crafter!

Anyway for those of you who do actually do it rather than sigh over how lovely other people's craft is, I just discovered another fabric deisgner I love (see previous post on amy butler).

Anna Maria Horner. She has 6 kids too. And is about my age I think. Wow.

Party Planning

I have to admit that the thought of planning kid's parties really doesn't thrill me. So far for Sparky and Scout I haven't really planned a proper one at home. For Sparky last year we went with what in our house is called the Scottish Place (because of Sparky's ability to spell - can you guess which fast food chain?).

But this year I feel it is about time I made an effort. Sparky's 5th birthday is in about 2 months. I'm thinking a cooking party - making mini pizzas and cookies. Any ideas or suggestions on where to get supplies will be welcome!

It's kids' prerogative to change their minds, right?

After explaining we weren't going to see Ice Age 3, we ended up going as we got an invitation, and suddenly when asked by a friend, it became a lot more attractive to Sparky!

It was on the scary end for a preschooler though - lots of bad stuff that almost happens. Everything turns out Ok of course.

Trailer below.

Museums, Galleries and lots of culture oh my

When we went to the powerhouse museum, we discovered the premier's adventure passport for kids which gives free entry to school age kids for the next 6 months to cultural institutions on weekends and holidays- and 4 years old counts apparently.

This was great! what with that, Scout being free and having a voucher from the Entertainment Book, it only cost us 10 bucks for the 4 of us.

The Powerhouse was wonderful for this age - 5 play areas, including a play building site that our boys loved.

But now Sparky wants to take advantage of this scheme to the full - where to next? Maybe the Australian Museum? Anyone got a suggestion?

Museum over movie

Well you know Sparky and I love movies. And we had decided to go to one every holidays. But there are no G movies this holidays except Hannah Montana, which he declares is too girly. He also reckons that the PG rating for Ice Age 3 Dawn of the dinosaurs is probably warranted - "because even the title scares me mum" so we are thinking we won't go to that.

So our movie substitute is the Powerhouse Museum, which has a special school holidays exhibition for children called the Odditoreum which looks interesting, showcasing curiousities from their collection with stories written for each by the children's writer Shaun Tan. I hadn't realised the museum is so reasonably priced ($5 for over 4, $10 for adults, and we have a voucher). Scout can come too, unlike a movie.

My - no - husband's pressie

Don't you love it when your spouse gets a pressie you like too?

Bhaer got this table for his 40th. With the ash legs. We haven't put it up yet, so the photo is from Matt Blatt, which is where the table is from - if you like design classics, take look at their stock. This is our second piece of furniture from there.

Gasp! childfree time and sleep ins

If you read Prue as well you will know that I have been away with Prue for a mini break, sans kids. Thanks so much Prue for inviting me! You can read her entertaining synopsis here, though she doesn't mention our meal at a Katoomba cafe run by a Christian (well some questions over this designation!) commune, which we didn't realise was the case until after we had ordered. There have been serious concerns raised about the group as I discovered when I researched them later. Suddenly the amazing cheapness of the food was explained - the workers are according to what I have read, not paid ( see previous link).

Other than that, we had a lovely time. A relaxing time out, though we didn't take time off from our masterchef addiction. Fortunately we shared this, so we were both willing to time everything else around it.

So, how does this blogging thing work again?

well, feeling somewhat better, though it seems I may have some kind of immune system condition. And my laptop is back up after 3 weeks on the blink.

So, I'll have to start thinking about blog post topics.

Meanwhile, news from our place:

Bhaer turns 40 soon. What will it be like to be married to a middle aged man?

Sparky (4 3/4) has started helping me with word puzzles such as crosswords. This warms the cockles of my verbal heart.

Scout (almost 2 1/2) is starting to show a talent for taking people off - in the last couple of days, he has cracked us up by imitating his brother and his father.

And I have managed to get through the last few weeks with a lot of help and comfort from family and friends - phone calls, visits, outings, gifts, meals, housework, child minding and hugs. Thanks.

where am I?

sorry I haven't been around on my blog - I'm battling a prolonged period of ill health - which is being looked into - so the blog is one of the first things to slide! Please pray.

Unwell

I've been unwell for a few days, wasn't clear what it was - been to the doctor today and she thinks it is a virus, but having some blood tests done.

Motherhood as teamwork

I happen to live on a street with lots of children. It is also a wonderfully friendly neighbourhood.

One great thing about my street is the support between the mums. This is not as evident up my end of the street, where we all have husbands around more and also do some paid work. Though the mums are lovely up my end too, just busy!

The other end of the street, there are a row of defence forces houses. This group of mums deal with husbands who are often away for work. (They are all dads in the defences, I guess it could be the other way around, but so far we haven't seen any families there where the mum is the one in the forces). These mums support each other during these times. Also down that end are a couple of single mothers who have become part of this group of supportive mums. I have got to know this group of women through going for walks, and they often include me in as well.

All these women could have been doing it tough without each other, but with each other they have made our street a place of warmth and care. This is how motherhood should work. Teamwork. And I would hope that if we got any primary carer dads or grandparents in the neighbourhood, they might be included too.

photo from freefoto

Baking not blogging

I've been baking a little recently (not blogging so much had an internet problem). The latest things made have been a bready gingerbread (yes, I owe the recipe to some of you, haven't typed it up yet), a lemon yogurt cake, and today for my mum in law for mother's day dinner,a pear and maple syrup crumble. Let me share that with you because it is really free and easy and strict measuring really isn't important - I made it tonight by chucking in handfuls of things pretty much at whim. Serves 4.

fruit filling:
4 pears roughly chopped, leave skin on. Put in baking dish, chuck in brown sugar, maple syrup and raisins to taste. I could forgo the raisins, but Bhaer likes them.

topping:
almond meal, rolled oats, brown sugar, maple syrup and softened butter. Make enough to cover top, and mix ingredients to taste. I personally love a brown sugar heavy top.

oven: preheat 180C. put in well about 30-40 mins, but look just check it, top must be browned and pears soft.

Very adaptable to what you have at hand. Also very calorific - but hey! It was mother's day!

No photo. Is in my tum.

ditto

Do you keep buying the same item of clothing over and over? I do. Sometimes intentionally, but often unintentionally. I get it home and think, hmmm, I've bought that before.

Pictured is the black turtleneck I bought from Saba recently with birthday money (under the cardi). I seem to always have a black turtleneck on the go. And then there are the other colour turtlenecks....I also have a thing for cardis, especially grey ones ("what? another cardi???" is a frequent refrain of Bhaer's). Talking about which, that cardi in the picture is quite nice...

Very high back heels, black knee high boots also figure in my repertoire. I like to think of it as refining my style ;)

Light and Dark

You might have noticed that since Easter I haven't really done any serious posts. After our Easter sickness, I have been tired and busy.

Not that I haven't been thinking seriously - or writing seriously - I have been thinking, writing and teaching for church. With small children, housework and working part time in a mind heavy job, as well as doing some distance teaching, by the time I come to my blog I'm relaxing.

Perhaps that's why I don't mention my work much on this blog. Another reason is that my work often needs to be confidential. As it involves people, I also must be very careful in what I say.

But I could upload sermons for instance. This would involve very little extra work for me! (might have to spellcheck them then...) I never have. Many men I know in ministry do. I'm a little afraid I would bore you all - I've built up a small audience of friends and use my blog to enrich my friendships - to suddenly start putting up teaching material doesn't seem right relationally. I do read blogs which are more serious and less domestic than mine, and I enjoy them. But I'm not sure I want to take my blog there. But I would like to have more energy to put in more thoughtful pieces.

Funnily enough a male friend of mine has been thinking in the opposite direction - wanting to go more domestic with his blog, but afraid to take that step. I suspect there are some gender factors at work here, about what face we feel confident to present to the world.

What do you most like about my blog? what would you like to see more of? And with your own blog, do you ever think about what direction to take it?

Apologies

To anyone who actually bothered to play the clip for Jack Davenport 2 posts back (yeah, probably just you Bhaer ;)) I'm sorry for the swearing in the middle of the lyrics tere - didn't realise it was there, and as, if you are like me, you might read your blogs near your kids, I've changed the clip.

May Movies (yeah, yeah I can always hope I get time out, right?)

As an addendum to my previous post on films I was hoping to see this year, 2 further movies out this month in Oz have caught my eye.

1. Samson and Delilah, an australian film, was given 5 stars by Margaret AND David. This is virtually unheard of, and makes this unmissable I think. Since they moved to the ABC, it has only happened once, for Brokeback Mountain (which I confess I still haven't seen.)

2. Synecdoche, New York. A Kaufman film - directing this time. It looks ambitious, intriguing, maybe annoying?

And I've gone off the Boat that Rocked - it looked fun on paper but the reviews have said it is disappointing. One for the DVD player.

So, in the movie of your life

Who would play your family?

My eldest Sparky would be Thomas Sangster when he was younger - who is that? see the clip below from Love Actually



My husband would be Jack Davenport - see clip below. Love the song title ;). Edit: my apologies, the song has some swearing - can tell I wasn't listening when I watched. If that's a problem, turn the sound off)Edit 2: Seeing as how I myself read blogs with my small kids around, I've changed the clip!



I have just asked my husband who would play me (feeling unequal to the task of working out myself). He reckons either Cameron Diaz or Helena Christensen, switches to acting and dyes her hair blonde (OH, ok say I, and also manages to get a shorter frame with a more normal BMI....) Gotta love the husband's eye view!

Here's a picture of both of them pointing out how similar they look

I can't think of anyone for the cute Scout though. That would have to be one seriously cute child actor :D.

So, your mission should you choose to accept it: who would play you and yours?

Oh no! It's the Gruffalo!

Anyone read this book with their kids? Sparky went through a stage of being into this one - a gorgeous story with a couple of twists, showing that the small are not without their own resources. Though not exactly a morality tale - more about the power of wit! Well, the show is coming to Australia, pitched at 3-7 year olds. Anyone interested in going? The possibilities in Sydney are Seymour Centre 16-30 May ($17-25 each, depending - complex ticketing!), Penrith Q Theatre 4-5 June (all tickets $15 or 4 for $55), Parramatta Riverside 19 June (18 each or 65 for family). Yes, the further out from the CBD, it seems, the cheaper.

* book available from Amazon (where pic from)

Our Big but Thrifty day out

Sparky and I had our regular holiday movie day yesterday. After the horrors of the Easter Show cost last week, I went looking for bargains....double pass from ebay: c $16. snacks and water from home during movie: $?? not that much. lunch at a food court (Sparky's choice) c$10. train travel c$7. I figure at $17 each we did well.

We saw Monsters vs Aliens. It was PG which we usually avoid, but there were no G movies (in school holidays!) It was a little scary for 4, but he still enjoyed it. It was quite funny too, so something for the parents there. Though, as usual, the funniest lines had been used in the trailer.

Note to self : don't take son for his haircut on your fun day out. Yes, it was convenient. No, it wasn't worth it.

Sparky's first post

I am too tired tonight to post, but Sparky reckons he can fill in for me. Here goes!

I love my teachers because they teach me such nice things. Like English. They have some games too. Well, before group time we go and do those games. A___ and C____ are my teachers. Sincerely, Sparky.

Still lots of chocolate left

Because we have been gastroland this week. First Scout, then me, now Sparky. Bhaer has been suffering under some respiratory illness instead, just to add to the fun.

I was re-introduced to a Lindt bunny during my bout. We had met under rather more pleasant circumstances. So I think that chocolate might be around a while yet.

So, I will resume my normal blogging in a couple of days or so.

The games kids play

Nicole blogged about playing snakes and ladders (frustratingly too punitive snakes) and slamwich (a hit!) with her kids. Might need to get that one.

Sparky is at the age where games start being really fun, but Scout is still at the throw the pieces around the room and start a bunfight with your brother stage. I'm hoping next year we might start being able to get them to play them together.

We recently bought Boggle for Bhaer and myself (with an eye to the future) and so Sparky got out his Children's Boggle. There is a multi player version of this game, but so far we have only used the single player version. Sparky has been reading for a long time but his writing has really only just started taking off - this game is great for kids at that stage.

Another couple of games we have for Sparky that have been used only rarely so far - due to Scout - are Happy Families and The Shopping List game (which is one of the many memory games out there). He enjoys both of these. I grew up playing with my Dad's charming old happy families pack from the 50s (outdated socially though as all the dads were the workers) but sadly no one knows where it is.

We also have children's scrabble, which hasn't really caught on with him yet - I think its easy version is now too easy and the hard version still too hard.

Other games that I remember fondly from childhood and I'm keen to introduce the kids to, include:

Uno

Chinese Checkers (Lovely old set of Dad's -missing??)

Battleships (forget the plastic versions - we always just played with paper)

Careers (I enjoyed this much more than Monopoly, I think because you could strive for happiness as well as money. Again used Dad's and missing)

Connect 4

Guess who (my brother and I loved this and never owned it)

I also loved a game which had no winners and was all about learning about each other and cooperating but my brother hated it. I would have to do a deal with him where I played a game of monopoly and he played one of my game - can't remember what it was called now.

As a teenager, I would add Trivial pursuit and Pictionary and Cheat (note that I have linked here to the wikipedia article which gives an alternative and more scatalogical title to the game...).

Which games do your children enjoy? and which do you remember fondly from your own childhood?

*I got the image from the Games Empire website, which is where we bought Boggle - a great games and lego shop online and in Marsfield with competitive prices.

Easter Sunday sickness

We were woken at 5 this morning by a very sick Scout. He missed out on his Easter eggs, and we have spent all day trying to keep water in him (without him gulping too much!!!) It went well during the day but he started looking well afternoon tea, had too much too soon to eat, and vomited again before dinner. He has been a very cranky and very clingy kid.

Can I confess to you as I write this I am feeling fairly sad and sorry for myself? And very much hoping Scout stays asleep tonight? As well as sad for Scout, Sparky and Bhaer. Our plan of joyful celebrations today didn't really turn out the way we hoped.

I'm finding it hard to remember that this too passes, so I can only imagine how it must feel to a 2 year old with a very rudimentary concept of time.

I'm struggling with being glad right now. I am worrying about who might be next. But I am putting my hopes in that time when God wipes my tears, and 2 year olds don't get tummy bugs.

Good Friday Grief

Good Friday has always, since I was a child, held much meaning for me, but it has added significance in recent years.

I lost my first child on a Good Friday 6 years ago, to miscarriage. The date itself (April 18th that year I think) hasn't stuck in mind, rather the poignancy of it being Good Friday. He/she would have started school this year. I always remember my first child on Good Friday and look forward to meeting that child in the future - the future that is ours through Christ.

That day 6 years ago was one in which I gained an insight into the terrible pain of God the Father. I had always been moved by Christ choosing to die for me , but now I had some understanding of the depth of the suffering of the parent. As I lost my child, which took several painful lonely and scary hours, I thought about the loss of the Son to the Father. In my grief, which almost overwhelmed me, I clung on to this, and found my way to the beginning of hope.

Easter holiday plans

1. Remembering, reflecting and thanking. I have been speaking more to Sparky about Easter and Jesus this year, and he told me he finds Easter sad and happy. We have talked about when sad is good sad.
2. Sparky's first Easter Show. I am staying home with Scout and Bhaer is taking him. Is it just me or is the show ridiculously expensive? Pity I have lots of childhood memories of it I want my kids to share. I also have memories of my parents being stingy with showbags. Now I understand.
3. So, instead I'm taking Sparky to see Monsters vs Aliens. Some debate over this, as it is PG - where have all the school holidays G films gone? But after consulting Kids in Mind, decided to give it a go. We can always leave if too scary. We will stick with 2D I think, for a 4 year old.

piccie from freefoto

Wild thing, you make my heart sing..

Trailer for the movie of Where the Wild Things are. Now, if only the movie lives up to its promise

200 posts and miscellanea

To state the obvious after my title, this is my 200th post. I am truly amazed that I am still blogging (I do have a tendency to be faddish...). I think I have kept going because of the helpful interaction with those of you who read and comment . So thank you! And to any lurkers out there, now could be a moment to delurk!

I've been absent from my blog for a week - I had a weekend away sans kids (ahhh) and been busy since I got back.

The major happening in our home is that Scout, having shown the ability to climb out of his cot, has been moved into a bed. The first 2 nights he was true to his Blog name by falling out the end of the bed - he couldn't fall out the side because we have a safety rail on. I have now rigged up a barrier with chairs and last night no falls (Sparky woke up twice instead...). Sparky never did fall out the end, so I don't know when Scout's adventurous sleep patterns will improve. Anyone else have a kids that did this?

cheekiness and slumdog millionaire

AS I said I saw this movie this week with Mim. (It was so good to get out Mim!) So much to say, and considering the plethora of Oscars, everyone else has already said it probably.

Thought I might share one thought, though. I was struck by the contrast between the subdued (though resilient) grownup Jamal and the cheekiness of the very young Jamal. Cheekiness is a quality hard to maintain in the face of horror and hardship.

As a mother coping with a child who is cheekiness personified (Scout, if you haven't worked that out already) I suddenly found myself hoping for a life for Scout which will retain that cheekiness to some degree in his grown up self.

Trailer below.

Middle age?

I turned 35 today, which my mum kindly called middle age - I insisted with greater life expectancy these days middle age must really start post 40!

I do feel a little different today. I had a major breakthrough with those people that solicit your attention at shopping centres (charity people, cosmetic salespeople...). I usually get stuck talking trying to be nice and think up excuses to go- not any longer! I just decided today that no, I owed nothing to these people except politeness, and I could be polite, honest and brief. So, to one person I said "thanks, I don't want to stop" with a smile. To another (a pushy salesperson) I said no thanks and when pressed, said no thanks, I'm just enjoying myself today, and smiled and left.
And I got great responses to this too- I think they appreciated my polite honesty.

So that's less being nice for me, and more doing good - cause I reckon there is a lot more niceness than actual goodness going around. And I am guilty of this as much as the next person.

So, my day? my lovely husband did kid duty while I went out by myself, then came home for cake with the kids. Takeaway at night and a DVD. Also saw slumdog millionaire the night before with Mim (see sidebar!). And came home to lots and lots of lovely Facebook messages!

help needed from parents of school kids

I have recently begun buying Sparky's clothes for next year (I buy up clothes in sales and on ebay in advance and put them aside). Poor Scout mostly gets his brother's handmedowns.

When he was born, I asked my eldest cousin, mother of 4, how much clothing I needed to buy for each size and season and she gave me some very helpful guidelines (At the very least for summer and winter, they need enough tops and bottoms to have one on, one in the drawer, one in the wash and one on the line. 4 is essential, 6 plenty. And 2 church outfits. )

But I am thinking that with school uniforms, I will not need to buy as much mufti. And I will need to buy enough uniforms. The question I have, before I overbuy, is how much of each?

I have been thinking 3 uniforms and 3 non-uniforms, plus the usual 2 church outfits. So, parents of school age children please advise - is this a good plan? or are there some factors I need to know about?

Equal Parenting?

I was intrigued to read an article recently about a couple who advocate a strict form of equal parenting, called Equally Shared Parenting. In this model, parents do the same amount of childcare, same amount of house tasks, and same hours at work.

Already, it sounds very inflexible doesn't it? It seems to me only some couples would have the ability to choose exactly equal hours at work - and in the present economic climate, employees will be grateful for retaining their job, even if it isn't exactly the right number of hours. Different jobs have a different degree of flexibility, too.

For us, my work is more flexible than my husband's work. I have also wanted to breastfeed, and with both sons was unable to pump. I have been blessed however, that Bhaer's work isn't high powered overtime kinda work, and so he has been working around a 4 day week while the kids are little, while I have worked a roughly 2.5 day week (20 hours), from 3 months old with both boys, including being able to do some of that work at home. So, because he works more hours at a paid job than myself, and also for 2 years was studying (both of us agreed it was the right time for him to do this) I have taken up more of the childcare and housework. This, I think, is a fair enough way to do things in the present state of society, and shouldn't be made to look like it somehow suppresses me as a woman (though you may argue that society as a whole should be more supportive of all parents!), or shortchanges our children.

Yet that said, when out of curiosity I went to their website, I found their approach did have something going for it. I used their toolbox, which enables you to calculate how many tasks of childcare, paid work, housework and recreation you each take on. The idea is that you try to even this out, which I don't think is necessary or always achievable.

Yet it was worthwhile to look at how we divide things.

I found that while I do do more housework, when all tasks are taken into consideration such as paying bills, or arranging house maintenance, Bhaer is doing more than I gave him credit for, especially given he does do more paid work. Perhaps then, if I am dissatisfied with this, it is that I want to share tasks rather then divide them up. It might be fairer then for me to say I could take on for instance some bill paying, if he does some more dishwashing, rather than make it sound like he does nothing. Or to acknowledge what he does, but admit that I need a bit more help (i.e. my needs, rather than his slackness being the issue).

I also discovered that neither of us gets much recreation. As a couple then, we need to help each other both do this, rather than sit around feeling pity for ourselves.

The area of real inequity (rather than just perceived) was strangely, in tasks to do with the children. It was not only that I did more childcare generally, which is how our arrangement works and was OK with me, but that I took on every child related task - some were shared, and many were just me, and there was only one task really that he did rather than me. Tasks included, for instance, buying pressies for kids' friends, managing the kids' wardrobes, packing the bag to go out. This has several consequences. Firstly, it is a hidden source of stress and work for me. This revealed why I felt overworked. It also meant that while I spend time with the kids doing tasks, when Bhaer is with them it can be more about fun. So it was unfair on me and the kids. But it was also unfair I think, for Bhaer. I then am perceived by the children as the one who gets things done and knows what's what. It is not that Bhaer refuses to do these things - it is just that he doesn't even think about them needing to be done. And I don't tell him. So, it told me that these tasks must also be considered when we review our schedules.

I guess where I come to after all that, is not to say we all should be splitting everything down the middle. That's not how life works (breastfeeding for instance, is hard to share equally.....). Rather, that however we decide to split things up, it can be helpful to do so in detail taking into account ALL the tasks of family life. That way, we can make informed decisions about how our family works, rather than falling into patterns that we may/may not be happy with, and may/may not work.

Hmm, what do I call that? Thoughtful, considered parenting perhaps?

Movies coming soon - a non exhaustive list

Here are a list of up coming movies this year I am interested in. Very probably there are some great ones coming up that I ignore here because it is hard to tell from a plot synopsis how good something is, but here we have ones that have piqued my interest so far - and by the way, no links - come on people, use google for those you are interested in ;)

March:
slumdog millionaire - all those oscars and a feelgood tone...I think I will take myself for my birthday.

April
inkheart - based on book by Cornelia Funke. Read this recently. Fantasy based on children's books.
the boat that rocked - rock n roll film with bill nighy, rhys ifans phillip seymour hoffmann. kenneth branagh, director richard curtis. Looks fun

July
harry potter - how can I miss this?

september
fame - oh yeah, remember the tv series? remember, remember FAME! ahhh, I'm going to see this even if it's bad....

october
julie and julia
(streep, amy adams and cooking. Better go with a full tummy.)

december
where the wild things are - with Sparky? as long as not too scary?

late 2009 or early 2010:
Nine - a musical with daniel day lewis, judi dench, nciole kidman, mariona cotillard and more....you have to check out this cast list.

away we go: sam mendes, allison janney, maggie gyllenhaal.

Lost in Austen

It was delightful watching the whole plot of Pride and Prejudice get subverted by the introduction of a contemporary character - I'm going to spend the entire week in anticipation of the second installment. Whether you like it or not might come down to whether you are the kind of person, as per Room with a View*, who likes comic songs or - not. I like comic songs. And I like this.

Now, did I blink and miss it somehow? Or did they NOT show the actual rendition of Downtown at the Bingley's house for some reason?

Well, here it is :


* one of the key moments in deciding that her fiance, Cecil, is after all, completely wrong for Lucy Honeychurch, is that he does not appreciate comic songs.

I am not ashamed

My attention was caught by the tag line on an interview with Lily Allen in the sunday paper - I am not ashamed of anything I do.

How can she be so confident that everything she does can stand scrutiny? Because "I'm a well intentioned person".

This is a stance taken frequently these days - in the past, not lamented Big Brother days, those kicked off the show would often proclaim that they were not ashamed or had no regrets. This was often met with approval by the host and cheers from the audience. "I know I'm a good person".

I shudder to think what a world where no one any longer feels shame would be like. If it was a result of no bad things being done, then well and good. But, no shame no matter what you do is a terrifying thing. What they really mean is that they do not hold themselves responsible for the consequences of their own actions.

As the proverb says, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I have done plenty of things to be ashamed about. Good thing then that I need not be ashamed of the gospel (Rom 1:16, Bible).

What has Scout been doing?

Scout and I are sick today - not fun.

I've just got the strength to share a Scout story. We discovered this week he can READ 4 words (and who knows what else). Yes, I have tested it a few times as I was flabbergasted.

They are: Sugar, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

Anyone guess how my 25 month old picked up those words?

It's monday (otherwise known as swimming and ouma day)

Couldn't resist sharing this - Sparky was putting on pants due to a pre-breakfast accident, and I had told him to go put on his undies. Scount (25 months) was trying to say something to me, I was ignoring this as I was instructing Sparky. Finally I paid attention: "don't want undies. swimming. ouma's." Bhaer had told the boys it was Monday earlier. Scout was pointing out that Sparky doesn't wear undies Monday morning, as he goes to swimming in his swimmers, with Ouma (Bhaer's mum).

mincing around

I've been having some adventures with mince this weekend (kinda ironic I'm blogging this so soon after veggie post), cooking some new kid friendly, veggie full, easy and cheap mince meals. The food mags seem to have responded to the recession with mince meals, so I adapted a couple of them.

First up Saturday night was homemade sausage rolls (I made mine with veggie mince, but everyone elses' with veal mince). The difference with this homemade variety was lots of added veggies - grated carrot and zucchini, chopped onion, garlic and shallots, lemon zest and also some low fat cheese. Sparky ate it all up, Scout not so keen - I think I might use the zest more sparingly next time as I think that was his issue. Still ate a good amount. Tomato sauce had by all.

Tonight, we had savoury mince, an old favourite from childhood (I had something else this time, but will have to try a veggie version I think, after tasting the sauce for this one). Bhaer had never had savoury mince!!!! Bhaer and Sparky loved it, and Scout went pretty well. Lots of finely chopped veggies and onions thrown in, with lean beef mince, and a sauce made from soy sauce, flour, beef stock, and a french onion soup packet. I served it up on toast- Sparky had his first go of using a knife and fork properly. Scout was given the toast as finger food and the mince as spoon food. He enjoyed that! And Bhaer was so enamoured of his first taste of good ol savoury mince, he went back for seconds.

I need at least one more February post so here are some kid stories...

Sparky has been showing some theological thinking recently.

When we explained that he would get to see the people he loved in heaven forever, he excitedly exclaimed he would see K____ (a girl from preschool last year) again.

He was putting on some check shorts yesterday, and said they must be church shorts. He is under the impression checks are for church, because the collared shirts he wears for church tend to have checks (the lack of imagination of boys' fashion manufacturers). He then nodded and said "yes, of course it's for the cross". I put a striped tee on him as well, and he said "ah! half a cross !" I didn't have the heart to discourage this interest in symbolism.

Scout has been saying I love you a lot, which is gorgeous. He also enjoys saying "that's mine" - or, if he doesn't want the item, it's "that's Sparky's!". Ah the human paradox -loving and selfish all in the same person!

veggie tales

I am using my blog to announce that post breastfeeding (2 years!), I have reverted to vegetarianism again.

I find though, that I have a more relaxed attitude towards this than previously. I guess this is partly because I have spent 4 years out of the last 5 eating meat. I have a policy of eating meat when I am pregnant or breastfeeding, as I prefer to give my children the bext nutrition possible, and not take any chances. Although I think it is better to avoid meat, for humanitarian and environmental reasons, still I do value human life over animal life, and so there are times when I think it is justifiable to eat meat. Last time I went back to vegetarianism after my eldest stopped feeding, I was much more back and white about it, but this time, I have not been as rigid. I eased myself back on, rather than say, have to go do a new grocery shop immediately, and I have been OK with friends feeding me meat, as they wouldn't know I was back to being veggie, though if they asked I did say I was veggie again. And I have allowed myself to have the occasional bit of fish. I think I am seeing my actions in the big picture - that if for some reason some meat passes my lips on the odd occasion, it won't detract from the good I am trying to do with my vegetarianism.

What I don't consider a reason, though, is my convenience - so it is back to cooking some double meals - with meat for others and none for myself.

piccie from freefoto.com

Name game - a meme for my sadly neglected blog.

Sorry blog readers it's been a week.

Ok, to get back into it, a meme Kris (see sidebar) tagged me with - somewhat modified for privacy.

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle name) Joy William

NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad) Edward William
Girl version: Julia Joyce

.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal) I have several favourite colours - um Blue Cat?

SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born) Joy Sydney

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)The Green Tea ( a particularly soothing lower caff hero LOL)

YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)Megizzle

I am very taken with my superheo name I have to say :). Consider yourself tagged if you have a funny name come up when you do it....

the clown of God

most of my old children's books have been stored at my in-laws for years and today I sorted through them, looking for some that Sparky might be ready for in the next year or so to take home.

One that I took home and read to Sparky tonight is the Clown of God by Tomie dePaola. I almost couldn't finish reading it, as my voice got choked up with tears (of joy) towards the end. It was a book that was very dear to me as a child. The story follows a juggling clown who in the end just before death, juggles for a statue of the Christ child, and in this finds meaning. The clown dies in the story, but the sadness of the death is transformed into joy in the story. Sparky said in wonder that it was sad and then good. It sparked off a discussion on death that got quite involved (Next time I won't read this story JUST before going to bed). I think at 4 Sparky was just old enough for this story - it might be even better for 5-6 year olds, and can be appreciated by 35 year olds too. The illustrations re very beautiful too.

Now I am looking forward to rereading the rest of the books I brought home. I am trying not to get too disappointed if his favourites are different from mine!

Not that this is some kind of women's magazine, but...

I was in 2 minds about writing this post, not wanting to be promoting consumerism, but I thought it might be helpful, so here goes.

I just received in the mail my latest order from Peter's of Kensington online. This is the second time I have ordered from them and it has been quick and easy both times.

But the main thing is, it has enabled me to buy loved ones presents I couldn't otherwise afford. The shipping costs are very reasonable if you buy more than one item. I just bought 3 items - presents for my mother and mother in law to put away til their birthdays.

To give you an example of the discounts you can get, the best discount I got this time was an item that was 13 down from 109, and it was perfect for Mum. Obviously just in case she reads this, I can't name the item.

Since I'm a previous customer they send me a newsletter every week with select items and this alerts me to any very good bargains.

And, so much easier than driving to Kensington!

13 year anniversary

Bhaer and I have been married 13 years (married 10.2.96).

If you have ever wondered why I call him that, it goes back to one of the first movies we saw together - Little Women (1994). Gabriel Byrne plays Friedrich Bhaer. A great big gentle quiet bear of a man who is older than his beloved Jo. Bhaer is 5 years older than me which seemed a great deal at the time though not so much now.

Lots of love to you, Bhaer xoxoxoox.

Below is a clip from the movie - the marriage proposal.

only the cross left standing

When all is subjected to utter devastation, only the cross is left standing. See this picture of a church in Victoria. Only the suffering of God answers the suffering of humanity.

With prayers for those whose lives have been touched by this tragedy, and hope in a God who makes new.

Cranford

I am very much looking forward to watching this BBC series fromn this Sunday. I have reread my copy of the novel, Cranford, and have been moved anew by the sweet humility of Miss Matty (played by Judi Dench in this series). The series also interwines the stories from other Gaskell works, namely Lady Ludlow (novella), Mr Harrison's Confessions (short story) and the Last Generation of England (a non fiction essay). I did not own these, and have found them difficult to obtain hard copies of immediately, but fortunately they are long past copyright and so copies can be found online at either the Project Gutenberg or at the Nagoya University site (this is too difficult to link to because of japanese language pages, the books themselves are in English and can be found by a simple google).

Picture of DVD cover taken from Amazon, from which it is available to purchase

If your name is Max...

...you need this shirt

A simpler approach to ethics

On Australia Day I discussed 2 ethical issues with Sparky. Now, granted, in explaining the issues to Sparky, my own biases came through strongly, both because I was trying to explain simply, and because I was instilling values.

But I was struck by how simple these issues appeared to him.

He couldn't understand why anyone would buy cage eggs. It was easy for him: unhappy chickens = a bad thing. Then when I explained that they were cheaper and people cared more about that than the chickens, he wanted to know why the supermarket sold them. I explained that they sold them because people bought them. He suggested that as more people realised chickens were sad and bought the free range eggs, maybe the supermarket would stop selling them. I said I hoped so.

The other issue was the date of Australia Day. He wanted to know why some thought it should be a different day (reading news over my shoulder). I explained about the indigenous point of view. His reaction? Well, why not just make it a different day then? Indeed.

On that last point, I am taken by suggestions we should make it the day we become a republic --- now roll on the republic!

photo from image after

The right date?

Happy Australia Day! I am celebrating being Australian today, something I am very proud of. But today is not a happy day for indigenous Australians. Today for them is Invasion day, as the date commemorates the day the First Fleet landed. I agree with Australian of the Year Mick Dodson that a better date could be found.

He suggests Feb 13, the anniversary of The Apology. I like the symbolism of this, but I can understand that some others may not find this date as agreeable. Perhaps another date could be found that could be agreed upon. But let us have a conversation about it.

Feb 13 would be great for other less noble reasons - we could have a long weekend sometimes near Valentine's Day, and also near my wedding anniversary (Feb 10).

photo from Flicker used under this licence http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

and the answers.....

1. The transforming power of prayer by James Houston - this book made me think a lot about how our other relationships affect our relationship with God - and vice versa.
2. Mansfield Park - I used to identify with Fanny as a shy anti-heroine - greater self knowledge has taught me I am quite different from Fanny in many ways - but there is still a little bit of me like Fanny. Well guessed Kris.
3.Raising Great kids: parenting with grace and truth by Cloud and Townsend. I almost chose Grace based parenting, but Nicole had used that already. This book perhaps didn't inspire me as much as the former, which I read first, but is probably a more consistently good, balanced approach.
4. To serve them all my days by RF Delderfield. About a welsh teacher's experience at a private English school at which he eventually becomes Principal. I have welsh ancestry, but I liked this book ever since I saw the BBC series. I love any stories of the impact teachers have, and so stories such as this one helped me to realise that I have the heart of a teacher.
5. Women in the church by Grenz and Kjesbo. This book helped me think through the issue of women in ministry. It takes a decided stand in favour of full participation in all roles, but does so with a respectful and thorough treatment of the different issues and positions.
6. Lord of the Rings: fellowship of the ring, Tolkien. Good guess Kris. This book helped me see the powerful emotional connection our imaginations can make with stories of the battle between good and evil, a connection I believe is hardwired And of course it showed me that even the smallest....
7. Christian Theology: an introduction, McGrath. This is the first theology book I read, and it made me realise that I wasn't alone in all the thoughts continually going round my head. I cried. I started to think that I was going to like studying theology.
8. The Complete English Poems, Donne. I had grown up loving and writing poetry, but Donne was perhaps my first grown up choice. He definitely affected my poetry, and my creative writing lecturer at Uni detected this by musing that at times I was a bit like a contemporary Donne (or word to that effect). Well done Nicole!
9. The Messiah by Handel. My mum passed on her copy of the score to me when I studied singing. Handel takes you to the steps of heaven. And strangely that emotional and spiritual connection to the music meant I sang it well - my singing teacher remarked it was odd that I could sing difficult pieces by Handel better than I sung simpler tunes. Well guessed Nicole again!
10. Barchester Tower by Trollope. Nicole got pretty close. I love this whole series. I think as someone who grew up a minister's daughter, I have no illusions about the church - it is packed with politics. But then also, I have had the privilege of knowing some of the most wonderful people in the church too. The Barsetshire Chronicles show the church warts and all, and yet also show the power of faith in Christ. And although the series is mostly on the side of high church, and as a Baptist I'm low church, it makes it very clear that authentic Christians are found in all the different "parties" in the church.

Well there you have a bit of insight into me. Thanks for asking me Nicole. Since Kris played along, I tag Kris.

snags for change

I bought this snag at Snags for Change to support World Vision's Global Food Crisis Emergency Appeal.

You should check it out. Buy a snag. Make a difference.

clues to post below

1. from a prayer book on friendship with God
3. parenting book by people who like borders
4. had a bbc series and a welsh hero.
7. a book that introduced me to theology

Guess the books

Nicole tagged me to do this meme – I had fun guessing hers, so have a go on mine!

The rules:
- Take ten books, and transcribe the fifth sentence from page fifty six.
- Make sure that at least five books are fiction, provide five hints, and pass the meme on to six other bloggers.

Well here are the hints;
1. I picked 10 books that I own off the shelves in my loungeroom, which holds my theology and other Christian books, literature, science fiction and fantasy, parenting, arts (art, music, architecture etc) and psychology books . (There are no children’s books or cookbooks in this room).
2. I picked 10 books that had an impact on me.
3. the impact ranges from : my poetry, my imagination, my vocation ,my study, my theology, my prayer, my parenting, my self identity, my view of church, my musical taste.
4. Some of my favourite writers using the term broadly, are included.
5. Keep reading as I may divulge other hints in the next few days (such as authors…)

and the quotes...
1. If it is more natural for us to wear a mask than to show our faces, then how and when do we expose ourselves to God?
2. Fanny, who was sitting on the other side of Edmund, exactly opposite Miss Crawford, and who had been attentively listening, now looked at him, and said in a low voice,
3. Introduce children to the reality.
4. You’d like it down there. (it may help to know the next sentence has characters named Davy, megan and Gywnneth.)
5. In the past, the transition within renewal movements from the charismatic to the credentialing phase generally led to the loss of leadership roles for women.
6. It has everything to do with it, said Gandalf.
7. The rise and fall of Byzantiumis of particular importance to a full understanding of the subsequent development of eastern orthodoxy in Russia and Greece,,, (it goes on, and I can’t be bothered typing the rest but you get the picture)
8. So, so break off this last lamenting kiss (in this case I took fifth line not fifth sentence)
9. The prince of peace (fifth phrase in this case)
10. before a whole dean and chapter assembled in their own cathedral!

I will tag my six people later in the next week.

so we bolted....

Sparky and I went and saw the movie Bolt. We both liked it more than the last movie we saw (Beverly Hills Chihuahua).

Pros:
It is a G movie (but see cons below)
Not too long.
It has some good things to say, such as:
loyalty is important
even ordinary people can be heroes
the ordinary pleasures in life are important too - of home, family, friends, enjoyment of creation
It has humour that involves adults, while still being clean. The hamster is hilarious.

Cons:
It does have a few scary scenes - most of these take place as part of a TV show, and so no "real" (in the world of the movie) people or animals get seriously hurt.
There is reasonably frequent popping back and forth between the make believe of tv and the real world. This is confusing for little ones - Sparky is a 4 year old who is pretty good at this distinction, but he struggled with this, and so there was lots of questions on his part as we watched the movie - hopefully not annoying to the other patrons.

Sparky and I have decided to go to a movie every school holidays so if anyone ever wants to join in just say the word.

Two today!

Scout is 2 today - I can't quite believe it! We gave him a boy doll and stroller and I am listening to the 2 boys playing daddies as I write this...

a video for scout....his favourite youtube video!

In my future?

This is the kind of thing Scout will be getting up to in a couple of years...

austenbook

Mim (see sidebar) brought this to my notice. It is pride and prejudice done in facebook style.

2008 review 2009 preview

I just looked at my post a year ago about 2008. I did great at my goals for the kids. Sparky did pretty much all except for startng music, but we did informal stuff. Scout (previously Owl) also did all, though moral education for him was tougher than with our eldest!!

I didn't do so well at goals for myself. Most were about finding time for things other than kids and work, and the only area I did better in this regard was housework. The one I did well was helping my kids to understand the bigness of God's love, so this pleased me.

I feel happy that I am a better mother than I sometimes feel i am day to day - that while it can feel like you are getting nowhere,looking back over a year, we got there. But my self care needs work, and my care for relationships other than kids.

As for 2009:

Sparky: get him ready for school. read the bible with him. Help him to have greater responsiblity, compassion and patience. Make him feel very loved.

Scout: get him ready for preschool - including toilet trained. Introduce him to first knowledge of God. Help him to be more obedient and careful, without dampening his wonderful sense of adventure. Make him feel very loved.

Me: find time for all the things I struggled to last year: relaxation, my husband, my friends, prayer. Lose a little bit of weight and help my husband Bhaer to as well. start the doctorate - but have some time wth no-one in house studying first! Become a more gracious person.