Next year...........my goals

Sparky: he starts preschool and turns 4 this year. Goals: to be dressing himself, doing the whole toilet thing himself from start to finish – i.e. he is toilet trained but still likes some assistance, eating a greater variety of food, doing some help in house, further along with school readiness, starting to learn to swim and maybe music. To be able to answer all the questions about God he has had recently! To sum up - greater confidence and independence.

Owl: his second year. Goals: to get some mummy time while Sparky not there, and learn all those huge second year things – words colours, shapes etc! To start his moral education. To sum up – to provide a good, secure, learning environment.

Me: to be more on top of the housework now I don’t have the baby excuse. To get some time out to myself. To have some couple time with my husband. To spend more time praying. To get a topic for doctorate. (see how time features heavily??). While looking after and teaching my kids, to make sure that they grasp the depth of love I have for them and God has for them and most of all, to enjoy the life I have been given everyday to the full.

piccie from here

Holiday mode

Sorry - I hadn't blogged for a couple of weeks - there was the mad Christmas rush, Christmas itself, and now I'm in holiday mode. We are holidaying at home, as it is cheaper, and going away with just walking Owl is not our idea of fun. So we plan to do some Sydney things - so far only been to Balmoral beach (in the rain to see old friends.....) and also we have hit the sales (I did a whole morning sans kids with my cousin, and have added necessary items to my wardrobe plus lots of Sparky clothes for next summer).

Other ideas we have are going to Sydney Wildlife world (smaller than Taronga zoo, so good for Owl's stage, and we have a voucher for it - we will go to Taronga later in the year) and stopping in at the chinese gardens while there if we feel up to it, going to the beach on a sunny day (!), seeing friends, and Bhaer and I plan to have 2 nights out - another advantage to staying at home is baby sitting is available - we are trying to decide a movie to see, since we haven't seen one since pre Owl - any suggestions?

I have put in websites as I went, but here's 2 others for people in our situation holidays with kids and travel for kids.

You may be wondering, did I finish the owl softies in time? yes I did! I promise piccies soon!!!

get free pictures like this one

Goats and pills

A cyber friend recently blogged about the ethics of those charity gift catalogues (such as the world's most useful gift catalogue) from which you can buy a gift for someone you know but in reality the gift goes to a person or community in need (eg goat, medical supplies)while the person just gets a card telling them money has been given on their behalf. These catalogues have proliferated recently, I guess because this is a chance of having some of the money that flows around at Christmas rather than all of it swelling the coffers of multinationals - and fair enough really, on their part. I wrote a lengthy comment and thought I would share it and also expand on it, as it has been something on my mind.

Here is my original comment:
"I have thought about this and I am ambivalent - so much so that I haven't done it. It strikes me that giving money that is NOT earmarked for someone else's gift is more charitable - money you would have spent on yourself. Giving the money you would have given to someone else anyway strikes me as wanting to have your cake and eat it to - to not sacrifice anything for yourself but still be seen as charitable. Perhaps then the card idea is better, though it still has the trumpeting your own goodness thing about it. On the other hand, I expect the people who got the much needed goat or medical supplies, really don't care how the money was given - so if this strategy means more money when it is needed, then maybe it is a good thing. I suspect the better way to do it might be to: tell people you want presents given to you to be charity ones OR to give money you have received as a present to charity (as long as the giver is happy with this). And then I think that it isn't wrong to get some nice gifts at Christmas either - God intended for us to enjoy his creation. So a hard question all told......"

In addition, I would like to say that what prevents me from getting all self righteous about this issue though is that this stategy does see money reach those who desperately need it. And I don't think I give enough to these people. So, when I start do that, maybe I can get self righteous about it! So if anyone does do this on my behalf, I will try to accept the gift humbly and with thanks for those who needed it more than me! though maybe not if it is an anniversary gift from my husband :).

The great dilemma

Sparky said to me as I tried to get him to focus on prayer tonight something like
" I don't want to do what I want to do." After a moment's thought to untangle this, I realised this sounded very like Paul the apostle when he said "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7 verse 15)
I asked Sparky whether this meant that though he wanted to be good, he found it hard to be so, becuase he also wanted to be naughty. He agreed. I admitted I found this myself. We sighed in our common frailty. I suggested praying to Jesus to help, because just like him, I needed help with this. But he wanted to pray later. I prayed anyway, after explaining better to not put it off, and then he said he wanted to take my words back from my mouth. In thinking about this, and based on other such incidences, I think he believes that if he doesn't tell God about being naughty, then God won't know. It's like when he has got in trouble and he begs me "don't tell Daddy!!". I would find this charming and naive.............. except that we as adults often do this too. We try to hide things from others, from ourselves, and from God. But of course, often we are only doing a good job fooling ourselves, and others have seen what we have tried to hide, and God has definitely seen it.

Owl walks!

On Friday Owl started walking (well one very tentative step). Very proud mum of my 10 month old. I have put up a photo from his dedication day of Sparky and owl dancing at Yum Cha (yummmmmmm - a real plus to working at a chinese church).

My blog has been very domestic recently! I will try to put in some more thinky pieces soon......I've been asked to write some theology stuff so that might help me get the brain in gear.

Another Christmas meme!

I had never done a meme, and now 2 within a week! Both on Christmas! So tag to Prue, Kristen and Kaylene. Look forward to seeing your answers. (Further note, 13/12: I was intially tagged by Nicole, if you want to check out her answers)

1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. Cheap. We have a mortgage…
2. Real tree or artificial? I grew up on artificial, but my husband has converted me to real. We go as a family to the farm to cut one down together.
3. When do you put up your tree? 2-3 weeks before.
4. When do you take the tree down? After epiphany. (so, Jan 7)
5. Do you like eggnog? Not sure I have ever had it! I like the idea of it…
6. Favourite gift received as a child? Dolls. If I was given one, it was always the favourite. Otherwise books.
7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes, on our wooden advent calendar. Plus another little Mexican pottery one that I can’t for the life of me find.
8. Hardest person to buy for? My grandmother. What do you need at almost 90?
9. Easiest person to buy for? My Dad. Books.
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Film for a camera I didn’t own.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Email.
12. Favorite Christmas movie? It’s a wonderful life. see the other meme
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I am increasingly more organised about this– so yes a few months before if I see something.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes, I have to my shame, regifted.
15. Favorite things to eat at Christmas? I love getting the magazines and planning a whole menu with my mum. The more elaborate the better (I love cooking!). But you know, it isn’t Christmas without some choccies in my stocking.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? We have none. I am concerned about the use of energy, but also at the moment the possibility of just begun walking Owl pulling on the cord – as it is, the Tree is on the dining table this year.
17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night – seriously sublime.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Go to family in Sydney.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? No. Though hang on the song is now starting to play in my head and I can remember quite a few.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Either is good. Though angels always see,m to stay on better. This year we have an angel made by Sparky.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? On the day. Eve is just cheating.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Santa. Feeling guilty for allowing Sparky to know the truth after he worked it out at 2, and then annoyed that I feel guilty about this.
23. What is the "corniest" family tradition you do, or miss doing? I have been converted to the real tree – but I kinda miss the fun of working out how to construct the artificial one each year.
24. Ugliest Christmas Decoration ever invented? My family owned it. Someone gave us a plastic santa with a gold glitter suit, and then to add to this, santa’s face fell off, giving him a black hole instead – so it became the liberace as the undead santa. Actually amused my family no end one whole Christmas as we kept trying to top each other’s jokes…..
25. Which looks the best, theme trees or homey trees? I like themed trees – I am an aesthetic legalist, as some might know. Tinsel is not allowed within 100 metres of my tree. However, since having Sparky, I do put up the decorations he makes – in the midst of my otherwise tasteful red and white themed tree.
26. What does Christmas mean to you? Love came down at Christmas ( the title of the sermon I am currently writing!!! – see Philippians 2)

possum witchery and owl stitchery

Yes, Possum magic is a lovely book. No, we won't be reading it again anytime soon. Why? We have had a resident possum since Sunday morning. He makes a lot of noise in the evening (of course it could be a she, but its toilet habits suggest a boy to me ;) - see below), which is difficult enough with 2 small kids in the house, but what is starting to make me regret the possum's protected status is that it has discovered a vent we have in the kitchen ceiling is perfect for weeing through. Fortunately this does not target anything major (like the stove...) but unfortunately it is starting to leave a stain on our wood floor - I need to move a bucket under there - I had just had newspaper, but this possum seems to have a large bladder. Plus when the possum awoke early last night, while I was cooking dinner, I kept freaking out that it would wee on me as I moved about. We have booked in the possum removalist (expensive!!) but they can't come until next week....

But in happier animal news, I have started making the owl softie for Owl. Prue made me a gorgeous pattern, and it is starting to look good. Of course, Sparky wants me to make him one too. See here for the mini mock up Prue did, though mine is different colours and larger - you will have to wait and see.

Top Christmas movies meme

I have never participated in one of these before. But here goes. See the original post by John.
My top 4 Christmas movies (I have stretched the definition to allow Tv specials)

I hope these qualify as movies but I love the old rankin bass kid's ones - 2-4 are those:
4. the little drummer boy - always made me want to lay my gift before the king - in fact probably still has that effect!
3. santa claus is coming to town - who knew Santa started off as a cute red head Like the one below, both are about having open generous hearts.
2. It was a year without a santa claus - fantasticly camp music numbers
1. Its a wonderful Life Yes, it is sentimental but in the best of ways. Like the idea that each person can have an amazing difference in the lives of others.

Here are the rules:
Write down your four favorite Christmas movies in descending order.
Tag the first ten people who respond in your comment section saying they want to participate. (I doubt I will get ten!!!)
(Optional) Include a link to this post (John see above) and encourage others to place a link to their completed meme in the comments section of this post so we can keep track of the meme.

a big weekend

On Sunday, Owl was dedicated to God (the baptist version of Christening). Many friends turned up for the day, and also I had the wonderful privilege of baptising people - I love this particular part of a pastor's job! I'm very feminine about it - I'm so happy I hug them when they come out of the water! Talking about owls, I am about to make a little owl for Owl (see this wonderful friend's blog, who has designed one for me! - thanks Prue!) So, in his honour, a little Owl story -at all of 10 months, he has worked out when TV shows are about to finish when the closing music comes on, and looks up and waves and says buh buh (which we think is bye bye). Is he watching too much TV ;)? That's Owl in the piccie - not a recent piccie. but a favourite.

On Saturday, I went out for my grandmother's birthday - she turned 89 - Happy Birthday Marty! (there is a long involved and way too boring story about why we call my grandmother that .....)

Well besides the big days in my family, other, obsiously less important ;) things happened this weekend - I haven't been blogging for a few days because all I wanted to do was talk election, and I didn't want to bore or annoy you all by being overly partisan. Fortunately, my family (husband, parents, brother and sister in law) were all in agreement over the election, so we spent much time on the phone over Friday and Saturday - let's just say we were all happy and much bonding ensued. What was a funny little coincidence was that my parents were in Howard's electorate and my brother and sister in law in Rudd's!

Alas, I was not as happy about the outcome of Sunday night - Aussie idol. still, I had a great night in with friends making jokes about the telecast - almost as good as watching the Eurovision Song contest.

easy peasy tasty hasty kid's cooking

Well I had an idea.... I've just been making some Sparky meals and freezing them today, and thought - why don't we share our easy peasy tasty hasty tried, tested and true kid's meals? oh they can be for the whole family too! and if you have some allergies or what have you you have to deal with, then please contribute one of your recipes so we know what to make when a kid with that allergy or so on comes round for tea.

So, from me - this is the help i'm running out of things to feed him and haven't been to the super market in a while and I've only got a spare 10 mins to cook for him...and can I keep costs down too??

2Min noodles gourmet
2 packs 2 min chicken noodles any brand - aldi if being cheap works well - of course if you want something more upmarket any noodles work.
some chopped vegies - can be frozen! or whatever is knocking round the fridge and needs eating up - one combo i use is peas, mushrooms and ham.
some meat - chopped up ham, or mince of any meat type works well.
some oil, oil spray or butter to grease the pan.

Then if you want a creamy sauce (this works nice with ham) 300ml or more of cream (don't worry, pouring or thickened seems to work well - I use leftover cream of any description).
If you want a chinese style sauce (goes well with pork mince), use soy sauce and any other ones similar hanging out in your fridge door (hoisin, maggi seasoning sauce go well).

Squash noodles while in packet - now they are easy to eat for littlies. prepare as per instructions,. meanwhile, brown meat in saucepan. add vegies, add your combo of sauces/cream to taste - simmer til vegies soft. Add flavour packets (or only part of them if want to reduce sodium intake) to noodles, then drain noodles, but reserve half liquid and add to pan with noodles. stir and warm together - then voila! some meals (number depending on appetite).

virtues for children

I borrowed a book from the local library the other day which I still haven't got around to reading much of (yes I read the fiction first...........). It is called Character building - written by a catholic educationalist. It lists a whole lot of virtues we should aim to inculcate in our children. Even without reading this book, just looking at the chpater headings has been making me think about a virtue focussed upbringing. I think it is quite a handy way to be thoughtful and intentional as a parent, as you can have the virtues you want for them in your head (by the way, I feel for the sake of honesty that I should say I have my days when being intentional as a parent is not on the rader and instead having us all get through the day in one piece is more the goal ;) ). Here is his list of virtues:
audacity (more like boldness for the good). flexibility. fortitude. friendship. generousity. humility. industriousness. justice.loyalty. moderation (more like lack of ostentation). modesty (more like respect of privacy). Obedience. Orderliness. Optimism. Patience. Patriotism (which aslso supports other countries). Perserverance. Prudence. Respect for others. Responsibility. Simplicity (more like authenticity). Sincerity. Sociability. Understanding.

Negatives first:
1. In the bit I have read, he suggests that before 7, you can only really concentrate on 3 virtues - obedience, sincerity and orderliness. I think this is rather pessimistic and limiting, though I notice he does address small kids when he looks at the other virtues.
2. Where is love or grace or compassion?? Certainly several of these virtues would be acting in love, but I would like to have this emphasised.
3. Not all virtues are of equal importance - I certainly am not sure I would focus on patriotism - though perhaps I would prefer to call this social responsility, and act on a global as well as local scale. (By the way, I am actually a very patriotic person, but I'm not sure how important it is that I am!)

Positives:
1. Many of these are directly biblically based, while others may be supported more indirectly. Others are wise ways to deal with life.
2. I think this list is quite widereaching and encourages you to think about qualities that otherwise you might forget.
Some I have been thinking about with my kids lately:
Flexibility - the book makes it clear this is not flexibility about all things! Some things we need to stand firm on. I have been thinking about this with Sparky, as he as I have mentioned before is very structured - which sometimes verges on the obsessional, and I think it is helpful for me to not pander to his self imposed rules, for his sake, as life will be easier if he is flexible, and for the sake of others because I think flexibility can be a real other centred virtue.
Fortitude - this is something I have been intentional about with both kids, though perhaps I think not giving enough sympathy at times, as Sparky is now refusing cuddles sometimes when he is hurt, so I think I need now to stress that it is OK to get the help you need! I think it is good for even small kids to realise that sometimes things can be hard, and it is better to carry on and do your best rather than whinging. I think this results in children who are competent, and also ones who will not look for someone to blame (like God!) or someone to revenge themselves on when things don't go their way. After all, as Rom 5:3-5 says: And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. (NRSV)
Understanding - lately I have been trying to awaken empathy in Sparky - this is an uphill battle with a 3 year old, and maybe overly ambitious, but we will see!

What virtues are you focussing on? Are there any you would take off from the list? any you would add?

More spiritual development

A couple of interesting conversations with Sparky yesterday.

First, he had been in time out twice (once from his dad once from me) for being aggressive with his brother. He had also at this time been pretending to be a super hero. He then wouldn't put his teatowel cape back on and was sobbing - I ased why, and he said "I will never ever be a super hero". Why not? becuase super heroes are good, not naughty and they help people. They also fly, according to Sparky, but apparently that is not as definitive of them as the moral virtues of a hero! We had a big talk about how all of us be naughty sometimes, and that he can already be a super hero, and that God will have lots of super hero things for him to do in life. Cape went back on . So, lovely internalisation of desire for goodness - but now need him to feel that him being good isn't a hopeless case.

Secondly, at the shops, he suddenly says "come along Jesus, hold my hand" and I look down (Sparky is holding my hand) and the other hand is outstretched holding on to well what looks likes nothing. Then we get to the car and I am told to strap Jesus in as well. Sparky then says "it is a good thing we didn't leave Jesus at the shops". Very true. Then he says "jesus says he loves everybody" . Then Jesus got a running commentary from Sparky about what could be seen out the window. Jeus was kinda being treated like an imaginary friend, but still I thought it was gorgeous - so relational.

I feel like I am leaving Owl out recently, so his latest thing is he has stood by himself unsupported - yesterday for quite a while, because he was so cranky with me for putting him down, he just stood and cried for a while and then calmed down , realised he was standing up and so sat down with a plop. Quite a funny sight actually - poor fella.

had we but world enough and time

The title comes from a poem by Marvell which aims to seduce a woman fast using the whole carpe diem thing. An amusing poem, but basically the 17th C version of a pick up line. Is it right though?

I have been excited by reconnecting with people on facebook but have been struck by the fact that I don't manage to keep up with existing friends at the moment, let alone refound or new ones. I have been able to have more contact with people than I otherwise might have, but it is still not the same as good ol face-to-face time. Sure relationships can be difficult, but life has been teaching me that people of all sorts are worth knowing. So the lack of time saddens me.

This is one thing that really draws me about eternity , and the Christian view of it - is that we spend it in community with those who take hold of forgiveness in Christ. Those people that moved far away will be right next door. Those people who for some reason although they seemed great we never got past polite acquaintance with - we will be able to go bowling with. Those people we have relationship struggles with - even though in our heart we really want to be friends with - we will be laughing with them over a cuppa about it. I can't wait. And I want to take people with me.

So sorry Marvell, we do have, in hope, in Christ, world enough and time (and heaven and eternity too).

I are very bryght

Well, after some attempts, I have now managed to get the perfect score (50) on the vocab test game I mentioned a couple of posts back that gives rice to the hungry.
This says that I have:
a) an amazing vocab
b) a heart for the hungry
c) an amazing ability to waste time
d) a self esteem that needs shoring up through proving myself in games of limited application in the outside world...........
ahh! but the sense of achievement feels so good................
well, I was having some downtime from looking after a sick Owl all day, as he projectile vomited in the morning, all over me, twice. which also explains why Sparky went to bed with a sore tum last night. Plus tonight we had a blackout when I was putting them to bed (but the power is back on for House on tv tonight yay!).

updated blog reading level

Hmmmmmm
just out of curiousity did the blog readability test on my blog again.........only 2 posts since I last did it (see 2 posts back!). And this time came out as postgrad level - 2 posts can make that much difference???? would be interesting to see the code for this...

Help is just a click away

One of the funny little byproducts of the Internet is charity clicking - basically how it works is you go on to a charity site and click a button and this donates to the charity - the donation is given by advertisers to the site (so you also help the longevity of charity clicking by visiting these advertisers at least once in a while or otherwise they will decide it isn't worth the money).
I've known about this site -the hunger site - for years - it is the original charity click site since 1999. It has expanded and now also has affiliated sites for breast cancer literacy, child health, the rainforest and animal rescue.

There are now tonnes of them - so you now find sites that produce directories of them (and also enable you to bulk click - though again, this practice makes it even more likely that charity clicking will become unprofitable for advertisers, unless you do visit them occasionally as well).

I go through stages - sometimes I am a committed clicker, and at other times very infrequent - it does cost my time, and you have to weigh up your time constraints versus actual beneficial outcome - some sites seem to be more generous than others - more cash for your click if you like. Also, it can lead to a feeling of having done your bit just by clicking, when you should also put your hand in your own pocket!

Clicking is not very exciting though so a new site a friend had on her blog (2nd ref to this blog in 2 days!) is the answer to that (though way too addictive and definitely is catering to your pride, which may not be a good idea) - its called Free Rice, and you test your vocab and each word correct donates rice. And yes, this is boasting - I have managed so far to get to a rating of 47/50 (48/50 now)... see BBC news service for an article on this game.

Blog reading level

I found this interesting little test on a blogger friend's blog - who came out as postgrad level! I'm not sure what to feel about this..... as I am contemplating going back to postgrad study, but was wondering whether I knew how to write like that anymore, this is worrying that I don't make postgrad..........on the other hand, as this is just a little personal blog in which I write about my days, perhaps the level is too high???

internalising

Sparky is having one of those developmental change periods...we had a difficult morning this morning, because Bhaer and I were both busy and Sparky likes lots of attention - anyway he followed me around most of the time talking non stop (NOT an exaggeration) and it was wearing, and so I got irritable with him. Eventually he went off to do something by himself, and proudly showed me what he had done - create an interesting pattern on his playdough ------with his jumper. I didn't get him in trouble, since he didn't know he shouldn't do this, but told him not to do it again. I changed his jumper, because he was just about to go out. I came back and he was now creating patterns with something I had said was Ok, but still making a huge mess, including on the new jumper, and we were less than 5 mins off going out, so I said it was time to put the playdough away. He was very upset, and I explained he wasnt in trouble but that no he couldnt have it back, and why. Next thing I know, I find him standing face against a wall, and he says mum I'm here. I'm like yes I can see that... and then he says "I'm having time out". He had put himself into time out! So then I gave him lots of cuddles and tried to explain again that he wasn't in trouble. Then I had very mixed feelings about this: 1) was very impressed that he seemed to be internalising discipline. Becuase of course our hope is that he develops internal values and self control, rather than being reliant on being externally controlled. There have been other signs of this lately, and I'm really pleased about that.
2) I did feel that this was the result of a whole morning of me being irritable with him - after all talking non stop isn't exactly naughty (though I did tell him to be quieter a couple of times when I was on the phone), just tiring. So it isn't good that at the end of the morning he feels like a bad boy. This links into my previous post about needing to be aware of the interplay of his extraversion with my intraversion.

So, so pleased that he is developing a moral sense, but wondering how to teach him the fine balance between being himself in all his chatty, friendly gorgeousness, whilst respecting other's boundaries and need for space - we had this issue a while ago with him hugging people too much, and he finally learnt that not everybody wants a hug all the time, especially not 20 in a row.

In other Sparky news, he came up with his first joke (very proud parents!)
When does a truck run over your toe? when it is a tow truck!
and today managed to kiss several little girls at Koorong (Christian book store) - most of whom looked pleased, but the girls' mums looked even more charmed.

Slavery alive and kicking

I had just typed a whole post on this in word and lost it. But I feel strongly about this, so here we go again. I have just been looking into this in my sermon preparation for Micah 6:6-8:

He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

I have been thinking about this recently, because of reading about a movie out called the jammed about the sex slavery trade in Australia, a film which has been struggling to find distribution, and also because a friend asked me to join a group on Facebook against human trafficking.

Here are some sobering stats:
27 Million estimated slaves worldwide
1.2 million estimated children trafficked every year
1000 estimated sex slaves in Australia - the extent of all forms of slavery in Australia is not known - yes read that again - slavery exists in Australia today!

Another recent film, that I haven't yet seen but would like to (Besides the important and engrossing subject matter, the adorable Ioan Gruffudd is in it), Amazing Grace, looks at the abolition of the transatlantic slave trade 200 years ago, an achievement Christians can be proud to have been important change agents in. But we cannot rest on our laurels! When we understand the value given to human beings in the Bible, that we are in the image of God, we should not be content until slavery has been abolished everywhere.

What can you do? start by looking at these websites:

The antislavery project
Stop the Traffik
World Vision Australia

john calvin and thomas hobbes......

Oh - so couldn't resist this theologian cartoon. Check the cartoonist's other work out here
she has a manga style simpsons as well.

Book club blogging has started

Yes, we now have some posts in our book club blog.......so far we have discussed the intro and the first chapter (on Deborah, the judge and prophet) from our first book Women, Ministry and the gospel. Don't worry, if not your cuppa, the fiction book should be decided on soon.

childrearing and personality

Bhaer and I have been thinking a lot about how our parenting methods need to take account of personality. We are both very aware, for instance, that as introverts, we shouldn't see Sparky's extraversion as naughtiness just because it is different (and sometimes annoying...).

Just the other day, Sparky told me he liked squiggly things - like worms and drawing squiggles. This made me think of the very basic personality test of what shape you like. There are 5 shapes and one is a squiggle. I wondered whether it worked for him. Well, not completely - for a 3 year old he isn't messy and disorganised. But he is "creative, flamboyant, dramatic, and witty" and "very easily bored, requiring constant stimulation". See here. You can check out yourself - I'm a circle, with a little squiggliness.

I have often wondered what his Myers Brigg type is - it is hard to know for a young child, but we are guessing an ENFJ (though not as sure about middle letters).

Owl is still a baby, so hard to guess at him, but he is generally quieter (not always), and more self directed.

I'm thinking I might like to look into books like the one pictured above - which I found here on Amazon.

What about your kids? How do their personality types shape how you parent?

Clothes- bargains

Well, my last fashion post took off in an unexpected direction – I was just amusing myself really, but it seemed to be a starting point for readers to share where they got good bargains – so look here is a post to do that! Please respond with your own good ideas. Here is what I have found:

Kids clothes:
Cotton on kids have regular sales (almost continually! I just stop in everytime I’m near one) which are much reduced (I often find tops for $5 on sale there which are pretty good quality – they seem to hold up pretty well). They are a plainer style than say pumpkin patch, but I like that. Really comfy pjs too. For stores see: http://www.cottonon.com.au/stores.php?kids_state=NSW.

Ebay – I buy a lot of Sparky’s clothes through ebay – I find that buying the more expensive brands second hand works well, as often people saved these for good and they are hardly worn. Particularly found great bargains on 100% wool jumpers for some reason, pehraps because people buy sloppy joes - but I just love knits on kids. You can buy bulk lots too and save on postage – good for play clothes. If you are worried about ebay, I can give some of my tips for using it....

Sales generally. I love it that they are still too young to care about choosing clothes really, so I can buy clothes a year ahead in the sales and put them aside.

My clothes
Outlets such as DFO - are good for things year round on sale (thanks Prue for mentioning this one in your comment – I use it too!) .

I’m signed up to the websites of my fave brands (witchery, kookai, cue, country road to name a few) so that I get informed when a sale is happening. Also, being on these lists often means they send you special offers or vouchers. And signing to these lists is free. You might not share my tastes, but check out your faves online and register for them. For example, I’m not a Colorado wearer usually, but many of you are – if you want you can sign up at http://www.colorado.com.au/home/default.asp#/home .

Partially because I was pregnant last summer, and 2 summers before that was carrying post baby weight, I have hardly any summer clothes – and t-shirts seem to be particularly rare in my wardrobe – but my lifestyle demands lots of tees! I have discovered 2 online places to get tees that I am thinking of trying out (I have bought one as a gift so far!). They aren’t rock bottom prices, but good prices for good quality.

Threadless tees – this is an interesting site where people compete to get their design or slogan on a tee – they choose a few every week based on votes and print limited editions (I am addicted to scoring designs). So these tees don’t look like ones you get just anywhere. Designs vary from witty to beautiful. But they don’t cost too much – I got one for a gift for $25 (which included shipping from US, I think even cheaper if buy multiple). If you prefer plain, the women’s ones for threadless are printed on tees by American Apparel (aussie website for this American company is http://store.americanapparel.com.au/ - cost per tee around $30). According to reputation the fabric they use is wonderful quality – and my sister-in-law backs this up. They have tonnes of different styles all available in a much wider selection of colours than in the shops.

* the picture is a threadless tee I want reprinted -called sailing the high trees.

So - what about you? what are your bargain hunting secrets?

what do you do with them?

I am interested to know what others with small kids do with them all day.

I have this guilt thing that I should be providing just the right amount of stimulation in a range of areas. That I should be highly organised and thoughtful about this. Those who know me as the unstructured person I am will probably guess this is not the case. With Sparky, I did provide a lot of stimulation, basically because he demands a lot of attention as an extravert and I had to think of things to do with him so I didn't get bored. Then for the first few months post Owl, I was really busy with him as the frequent feeder, bad sleeper he was, and so Sparky was left to fend for himself a lot more (self directed play is good, right?). Now Owl himself is playing, as he is now at the cruising round the furniture stage and opening doors etc. But Owl is a lot more naturally self directed, and Sparky has learnt to be. Though he now tries to organise me with what he has decided to do - yesterday I kept coming into the kitchen finding ingredients and implements for baking cakes had been taken out - Yes Sparky had decided we should bake - he knew what to get out, too! Actually Sparky has taken to turning off the TV in the morning and telling me he has finished with the TV now - I am starting to get the impression from this and many other incidents that Sparky may be a structured personality - a J, in Myers Brigg speak.

I actually allow myself to be directed by him to some extent - so I don't tend to organise craft, for instance, but if he asks for it, will provide it. So he does paint, draw, use playdough, use stickers on a regular basis - though highly structured craft is left for playgroup. I always read a book to him at bedtime, but often he asks for others during the day too. He has been learning to read as well, because he started reading words by himself almost a year ago, I nearly fell over in astonishment and figured maybe I should teach him too if he is interested- but this goes up and down depending on whats going on for me. I used to put on music for him and play music and sing and dance with him before owl, but I don't really get round to this at the moment. Maybe when Owl is a little older it will be something both can do, and I might do it then.

Poor Owl, I keep remembering that at that age I spent lots more time with Sparky, teaching him to walk, showing him things, talking to him, reading books - how do second children learn anything? ?

I find with 2 kids that I have more housework to do, that can't be put off, and as Owl is a light sleeper, I can't do it when he is asleep. So that means they get left to play more by themselves than when I had 1.

my mind says they are going ok, and that this is good for them, to learn to amuse themselves, but my fears say I must get the right amount of everything in! and maybe I am failing them if I don't....

the book club takes on a life of its own

literally!
it now has its own blog
see http://goinonabookhunt.blogspot.com/
the fiction book will be up soon.

What mums can wear this spring (shoes)

I spend way too much time thinking about fashion – I justify it by categorising it as my hobby I use to relax, just as someone else might be into scrapbooking! Well just decided to justify it a bit more by using all my time spent thinking about this to summarise for you what will work from this season’s fashion for mums like me, that need clothes for hanging round at home with the kids, making dashes to the shops, visiting friends, doing some part time work, and occasionally getting out in the evening (and realising you have nothing to wear). And don’t want to speand lots of money.

So I will do an occasional blog on this – today it’s shoes for spring:

Ballet flats - These have been around for a while now, but long may they stay in fashion. These are wonderful – I live in my current black pair. They are flat – lets face it as much as a hobbit like me feels the need for heels, they just don’t cut it when you are looking after kids. They slip on and off – I keep mine next to the door, as I’m often needing to just dash out. They are comfy. They can be dressed up or down, and go with almost anything. Currently fashionable – and always hepburnesque!

I have a black patent pair at the moment – patent is very in – and they have seen lots of wear – but I got them for 40 dollars and 6 months later after very frequent wear the patent is peeling off. So this might be an item worth spending a bit more on. I also have a pair of colourful cherry ripe keds – they make me feel happy but don’t go with lots of stuff.

What will I get next? Silver ones. Metallics are a trend this season, and I reckon they will have that go with most things vibe black does, but have a lovely summery look to them. I am also craving a jewel embellished pair , but not so sure these will be as all purpose.

Sandals . Again, flat. Comfy, Great for warmer days. More elegant than a thong. I’m assuming you already have a pair of thongs! Keep wearing them – not that in this year, so buy new sandals instead. I have some metallically blue and also black havianas given to me by lovely people, and very handy they are. So anyway, go the sandal this year - unlike a thong, they can be dressed up or down.

Beware: all sandals are not created equal. A sandal can be a thing of resort like elegance or orthopaedic ugliness. I have put some photos in of the type of thing I am thinking of:
Now, I don’t want to encourage consumerism so in terms of spring shoes, that’s it. That should do you. One or both of those. Approaching summer, you might feel like a new pair of dressy shoes for the party season – so we will talk about those then.

* all shoes pictured are from witchery - see www.witchery.com.au

More bloggy book club - a new development

After some discussion, a new development. There will be at the ONE AND THE SAME TIME - can we do it?? a fiction and non fiction book going. So, this means if you are reading both, if you get bored with one, you can read the other for a while (sometimes i feel like fiction sometimes non fiction - dont know about you). It also means if you only want to read one that's fine too - and now you have a choice regarding which one. I am thinking, as it is excellent timing, that maybe (unless it looks bad) the winner of 2007 Man Booker Prize - which is announced Monday - so will let you know then. Meanwhile, take a look at the shortlist, and take a guess which will win:
http://www.themanbookerprize.com/prize/thisyear/shortlist

Bloggy Book club

Dear readers,
A blogger friend, the babies stole my brain, is committed to regaining said brain. In pursuit of which, she has just started a blog book club to help us to read and discuss.

I was on the verge of starting something similar, so i was thrilled to read her post on this - see here.

Who would like to join us? A variety of views and opinions are welcome as long as respect is shown. I haven't consulted her on this, but I assume that it is Ok to go in and out depending on your interest in the book under discussion at the time.

As initiating blogger, tbsmb has chosen our inaugural book - The book is called Women, Ministry and the Gospel: Exploring New Paradigms. It's a collection of essays presented at the 2005 Wheaton College Theology conference. As fas as I understand it, on my brief research on the net, this was a conference which tried to bridge the gap between those on opposing sides of the women in ministry debate. (see here for a view on the upshot of this by one egalitarian) - so this then, I think, is a book by people on both sides of the debate who have a desire for christian unity and reconciliation. We would read a chapter or 2 a week and discuss via our blogs on a set day. In the spirit of the book, I welcome those on both sides of the debate to come read it with us.

I have made a plea for fiction to be on the menu as well, so maybe next time!

If you are interested, please let either me or tbsmb know. See her post for online places to buy the book.

No girls

It looks likely we will have no more children (though of course God could have other ideas). This has been primarily my decision, though Bhaer and I have discussed it (extensively!), and he is OK with me deciding this. I have given away my maternity clothes and the young baby stuff. The reaction of most people has been "aren't you going to try for a girl?"

We definitely would have liked a girl. We even tried some methods to have a girl last time. And Bhaer would, if it were up to him, try for a girl.

The reasons to stop at 2 are multiple. First, I have had 2 difficult births. I have had preeclampsia twice, and also had to have caesars , due to the consequences of little me marrying a large man. With Sparky, I had an emergency caesar after an induced backache labour of 15 hours, and a failed forceps delivery. Sparky was induced a week early due to preeclampsia. All that was painful enough, but then due to my dangerously high blood pressure (preeclampsia symptom), I was unable to have half the pain relief usually given after a caesar, which made the first couple of weeks very painful - I am told it would make quite a difference to be able to have the medication I was denied. I came home on meds for the BP which I had to be weaned off as my BP came down with the hormones leaving my body. I found out I needed to go down with my meds each time I almost fainted as my BP went too low (bit dangerous with new bub). It was hard to front up again for birth after that, but we wanted a sibling for Sparky. Plus, statistics favoured me not having to go through all that again. Stats wrong in my case. In fact I got it earlier and worse - Owl was born by elective ceasar 3 weeks early, as otherwise my clotting factors in my blood were getting so low it was quite possible that i would bleed to death on the table if left any longer. Again I couldn't have half the pain relief. It didn't help that after all that, because of dangerously high BP, I was woken up every hour to have it checked the night after the birth. Now, I have been told while I am allowed to have another if keen, I must take into consideration that I am likely to go through all this yet again. As well as being painful, it also of course has possible risks for me and the baby.

Other reasons against are finances, our ages (by next baby we would be both reaching those ages where risks of defects increase), wanting to move on to do other things in our lives (things we see God wanting us to do), our personality types (both of us are introverts who need time out and space - many of those I know who have opted for large families are extraverted - or at least the woman is quite often) and the kind of babies we have had so far (read difficult!!!).

We see this decision as a wisdom one - i.e. one in which God's will is different for different people in different situations.

The reasons "for" are these:1 - children are wonderful, and each one is precious - I believe that wholeheartedly. - I'm sure no. 10 is still a unique blessing! but unless you hold an anti-contraception viewpoint which we do not, at some point you make a decision to stop 2. to have a girl.

And there we have it. The major reason we would have a third is to have a girl. As I have said, we would love to have a girl. But there are no guarantees we would have one.

I am content with the decision not to have a girl - my 2 boys are delightful - I can't imagine exchanging them for a girl - God knew what he was doing with them. In fact, though I totally understand people's questions about trying for a girl (see below), I want to make it clear that an all boy family is not an inferior option.

But I am still in mourning for the girl we won't have. Partly because I would have loved buying little dresses and all the other girly stuff! Though I am able to enjoy this by buying these for my nieces and other girls. But also because I won't experience the mother - daughter relationship. This I think will particularly hit me when I become a grandmother. I am determined to be the best mother in law ever! Actually I have a notion that God will send girls and women into my life who will be like daughters to me - maybe daughters in law? So I look forward to that.

catch up (plus some discussion of gifts)

I haven't blogged for a week, so i thought I would do a catch up blog.

The reason for my extended silence was Sparky's 3rd bday, Bhaer's study schedule, Sparky getting a tummy bug, Owl getting his first tooth, and my work schedule.

It all happens at once doesn't it?!!

Sparky's bday involved lots of assembling - a bike, a swing set, a blow up trampoline (still haven't finished the swing set...). And contrary to popular stereotypes, I am better at this than Bhaer, so a lot of it became my job. I will certainly be much more alert to assembly requirements at Christmas. Could be a deal breaker...

Sparky certainly in my opinion received too much, though this was due to the love and generousity of all the lovely people in our lives. (Bhaer and I only gave him 2 pressies - a bike and a book.) Perhaps I am misremembering, but children seem to have many more toys today than when I was growing up - what do others think?

As well as Sparky's gifts, we put together a gift for a child with less than him - we got a shoebox ready for OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD. We chose to fill a box for a boy 2-4 yo - i.e. the same as Sparky. Sparky seemed most concerned that we had to buy a toothbrush - I think this truly brought home to him how much less some children have. He chose what we gave (well I chose what we would give, but he chose which one of each thing). He chose everything that he would have liked (which I think is deep love from 3yo) and has shown no desire to claim the things for himself. We had a bit of a hiccup with buying all this - Bhaer met up with me at the end of the shop and paid for the entire supermarket shop while I went and fed Owl. He then left the bag containing the pressies at the supermarket accidently. So we had to go back the next day and go round the shelves again and get these again (not pay for them, the supermarket were understanding), and while this annoyed me, it ended up I think helping Sparky to really get the whole concept worked out. If you are interested in doing it, see here for the list of what to pack and previous link for where to send.

how a child survives

as I said I might, I thought I would write my impressions of the book Borderliners by Peter Hoeg - see previous post. Sadly I got a whole post ready in my head in the shower but by the time I got a chance to write this post a lot of those eloquent musings have vanished.

Beware - if you plan to read the book there are some spoilers ahead. In the book 3 children all damaged by life in some way try to cope with the environment of a very structured (most notably with time and assessment), rigid boarding school. One child has been horribly abused by his parents - and revenged himself on them by murdering them - another (Peter the protagonist - also Peter Hoeg though supposedly not autobiographical) has been orphaned since a baby and been brought up in institutions, another has had both parents die, her mother first and then her father by suicide. The school is a celebrated one - its structured system, a form of darwinism , means that those who cope with it end up highly successful - but those who fail to do so breakdown. A microcosm of the world really.

The school has taken on these borderline cases, because it believes it can save them. Of course the school has overlooked a crucial foundation for resilience - children need to have not only discipline but also love. The children who cope with the demands of this school environment come from stable family backgrounds. So these 3 have little chance of survival. Only one of them does - not Katarina, the girl who had had a loving family - well at least she doesn't seem to have (she is missing in action at the end) - but Peter the institutionalised one. The abused boy has no chance - the love shown him by Peter is too little too late - although it does seem to prevent him murdering again. Katarina perhaps, has a question mark over her survival, because her father did not love her enough to stay around. The difference for Peter is that he has known not only love but known the redemptive power of self sacrificial love. A pivotal scene is based around the love - grace really - shown him by an older child in one of the institutions - the children are washed by being processed through three showers - one warm, 2 cold, one after another. There is no time to stay in the warm shower, as you must move on as the one ahead of you becomes free - and no-one wants to stay for long in the cold ones. The warm shower is one of the few moments of comfort in their bleak existence. This older child, Humlum, stays in the cold shower until his body cannot take it any longer - and this is in Denmark folks - so that Peter coming up behind him can have a warm shower for as long as possible. This for Peter, encapsulated love. HUmlum's ghostlike presence (Humlum dies earlier) keeps him going.

Humlum is thus the quintessential Christ figure. The sad thing though is that in the book Jesus is equated not with the grace of Humlum but with the rigid legalism of the school authorities who profess to be Christians.

Thus this book has something to say not only to child development but more broadly to what is needed for survival in this world. Depressingly, too often Christians do not provide those moments of grace to others that can make all the difference between being lifted up or being crushed. Here's to a God that lifts up.
Isaiah 42:3
a bruised reed he will not break,
and a dimly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.

security and competency

I have been thinking about and struggling with the issue of developing both security and competency in my children. This is a similar issue to how you balance love and discipline with children, but I guess a slightly different perspective.

It has been on my mind a bit recently due not only to the constant work of parenting, but also because I have been reading about a book that we bought from a fete - a novel - about 3 damaged children at an experimental school - more about that when I finish it perhaps (if you are interested, it is Borderliners by Peter Hoeg).

I want my kids to feel that I love and am interested in them no matter what. Pretty fundamental for happiness and peace in this world. I want them to be secure. But I also want children who can cope with this world. I want them to be competent. So, for instance, when one of my kids hurts himself (btw not gender exclusive, just I only have boys!), how much sympathy do you show? He needs to know that I care when he is hurt, but also that he is able to pick himself up and keep on going.

Lately I have been a bit draconian about cup spills with Sparky - we had trouble changing him over to a non lidded cup because he just would not take responsibility for it. He could use it, but he wouldnt keep aware of where it was, so would knock it over. Eventually I did 2 things - 1- introduced negative consequences for spills due to carelessness (not genuine accidents) 2 - stopped giving him lidded cups. 1 - had some effect but 2 - was the most effective.

Was it important that he use a non lidded cup? probably not in and of itself, although now Owl is using a cup, good not to get them confused for hygiene.

Rather, it became symbolic of something larger for me - that I needed to teach him responsibility and self control - if he was able to do something, then I wanted him to do it. I dont require for instance that he dress himself, but I currently do require that he undress himself except for tops - which I give some help with.

I have noticed that I tend on the whole to require more competency than others - though not as much as some!

But lately, I have been worrying again about showing more grace - the whole cup issue made sparky a bit TOO worried about accidents, and I don't want him to feel he can't mistakes.

i have a vague memory of reading an article about this by someone like stephanie dowrick - anyone recall?

then of course there is the whole issue of different personalities - Sparky is very dtermined and has drive which will help him, but he is , oddly, not very independent - he likes you doing something for him. So I feel the need to encourage independence.

Owl, seems to be less driven - much more likely to give up on mastering something, but on the otherhand more independent. I think I will need to encourage him to persist.

a flair for the dramatic?

sparky - (sorry another cute anecdote!!!) - has been showing a very dramatic turn of speech lately. Instances:
1. yesterday when I was ignoring the repeated mum!s from the backseat of the car because you know I actually wanted to talk to my husband for a change. - he exclaimed with a flourish "Ladies and gentleman, I said MUM!"
2. today when we set off for a walk with Owl in the pram, he came up to the pram and announced (with perfect intonation too) Follow that pram!
I have the sneaking suspicion that a lot of the time he is in his own mind not a boy, but a ringmaster, or policeman or...... so I am left trying to work out at times what part I am currently playing.

friends not links

If you are in the group who read my blog regularly (as far as I am aware a very select group indeed lol), you might have noticed I recently changed my section links to be titled friends. That is because I had a think about who I should link to and why. Which led me to thinking about the purpose of my blog. There are lots of different types of blogs out there (based around businesses, philosophies, interests etc) and so there are lots of different reasons for who is included in links. No one way is the best, it depends on what your blog is for. This blog I have decided is, and always has been, about friendship - in the sense not that I talk about that necessarily, but that I use it to maintain and enrich my friendships. So I have a single criterion for my links section: I link to genuine friends. So a link doesnt mean I agree or disagree, or that I am similar or dissimilar to those blog writers. I impose no such limits on my friends that we must agree or be like each other! Since those linked to are my friends though, if you visit them, please treat them kindly and gently - I love them.

cute evil?

I just bought a bday cake book for Ethan to choose his bday cake from - and what really annoyed me was that for the 6 bday cake - in shape of 6 - it was a little devil. This always bugs me! I hate that you can get little devil costumes for toddlers, and little devil cuddly toys or valentines - what is cute about evil? You may think I'm overreacting, but I think it is very clever and subtle way of making us feel that talking about absolute evil is somehow a bit silly - thus allowing it to go on all around us.

sparky quotes

I couldn't resist sharing these with you.
1) Sparky - almost 3 - has just been looking at a baby pig on tv, which I tell him is called a piglet. After some time, he says to me "what do you call a baby hit?" thinking I know where this is going I suggest - "hitlet?" he says no, a high five! a deliberate joke as he burst out laughing.
2) Having just played a game with lofty (the crane from Bob the builder) lifting things, he says to me, mum, why isn't he called lifty? why indeed?

what is important

Last night I watched a DVD at church about the spread of christianity in a very large Asian country that is anti christian....it was very moving to see the hope people had in the midst of suffering.
A couple of things struck me:
I complain too much - my question for the week to myself when i get all whingy is 'are you in prison?'
the acceptance of women as teaching missionaries/ministers in this situation - i think when a situation is urgent, then it strips away all the non essentials, revealing what is important - surely it is most important that Christ is preached, whoever does it????? (imho)

tv versus internet

Only a few years ago, i was astounded that the gen yers that i knew really didn't watch Tv and instead spent time on the net. I didn't use the net until I was an adult, at my first job post uni - in 1996 - and didn't get it at home until 1999.

i have enjoyed it from the start, but as i grew up on tv not net, i didn't see tv watching getting taken over.

but i have to admit, the net is drawing me in more and tv is drawing me less. Surfing, ebay, facebook, blogs, email - on the net i can direct what I am interested in a lot more, rather than being stuck with the very few options of today's free to air tv.

As a relational kinda girl, I am interested though in how it affects these - I think it is good for relationships outside my family - instead of sitting watching tv i am often on the net interacting. but i think it isn't as good for my r/ship with my husband - tv watching can be a shared activity, but with the net we sit in different rooms - even now we are watching tv, but i am also on the net.

quizzy

A friend (Hi MIM) had this little badge on her blog, so I couldn't resist and did the tests. regular readers would know I am INFP, though this shows the relative strengths of each scale. The multi intelligences though is interesting - I wasn't too surprised, though musical came a little higher than I would think. Have lately though been keen to get back into my singing.

quick catch up

Me: had awful gastro thing. Better now. Meanwhile everything gone chaotic.
husband forthwith known as Bhaer (do you know your Little Women?): Busy essaying
Sparky: is reading his first readers.
Owl: is waving and crawling everywhere
The house: less said the better
The garden:lovely and neat - will post piccies soon
Facebook: ah the addiction continues unabated...

Just watching Aussie idol as I write this and an early fave is Holly.

more facebook propaganda

I have been thinking about the privacy issues re internet pursuits such as blogging and facebook, myspace. I have read a few articles about the internet generation (which I am a bit older than...) having a different conception of privacy.

I have been thinking through such issues as - what do you do when someone you have issues with wants you to be a friend on facebook? now facebook has some ways around this - you can make yourself only visible to friends (though this then means you can't have the serendipitous reconnection with old friends) or you can block people (whats to say that someone can't sign in as a different name, or ask a mutual friend whether you are on facebook?). It means that you will now find it very hard to leave relationships behind.

I think this is, rather than a problem, instead a very good thing. It brings back the village. People used to have to live lives of getting along, sorting things out, putting up with eccentricities, everyone knowing your business, because people lived in small communties their whole lives. I think this taught the practicalities of love - you didn't just have to love when it was easy, when someone was the same as you. I think it teaches civility - we don't have to all be best friends, but we should all be able to be civil with each other.

And think on this if you are a christian - if you are going to live with other christians in eternity - what! can't you live with them now on facebook?

Of course this is all in my humble I'm still in the honeymoon period opinion. What do others think?

my vegie patch

a friend blogged about the success or not of her patch. We have just planted ours! (well a friend has done it for us...) . In ours so far is :
lettuce
tomatoes
basil
rosemary
spanish onions
coriander
parsley
thyme
marjoram
lemon thyme
snow peas
and we also planted 3 olive trees
as I look at it a leaning to the mediterranean.

and the fledgling lemon tree that was in the front yard when we moved in has finally borne fruit (not many).

so I will keep you posted on our progress.

also, on the inedible front, just planting some natives near the council strip - banksias, grevilleas and bottle brush - all with flowers shading from cream through to amber.

I am very pleased with the grey green foliage of the natives and the olives (I'm kinda anti bright green - its un australian somehow)

whatever became of...90s oz bands

2 posts below I mentioned a crush on a guy from an aussie band in the early 90s - adam tried to identify them but no luck - after I recalled that they had a strange skivvy uniform (not like the wiggles - they had black ones) I managed to find them online - they were called the sharp - see article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sharp. and myspace page http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=230497904

the one I liked was allan catlin.

felt very nostalgic when I saw them, for all those aussie bands that were around in my late teens - early 20s (ah! salad days..) and have now sadly been long forgotten - while if they were american they would probably be playing las vegas now...

so my challenge - anyone want to pay their respects to other such bands "lest we forget?"

the very trivial but mind consuming things I think about

anyone else noticed that very frequently on clothing items with 2 colours and stripes, these stripes tend to be around 3/4 cm wide - it's like an unofficial stripe standard. I noticed this today for the umpteenth time as my bub and I were both wearing stripes of the same width. There must be something behind it - is it related to the traditional french jersey? or naval uniforms? and why that width? I might go google it....

celebrity crushes

Ok a very feeble blog topic, but I wanted to keep up my blog and i have a brain like putty today. Thought i might list celebs that have caught my eye through the years:

High school first:
Brett Climo the nurse on Country Practice - so snaggy!
Rick Astley (what an admission!) - not sure why now...
Robert Sean Leonard in Dead Poets and Much Ado - hasn't aged well...
Rupert Graves in A room with a view - so cheeky!
Julian Sands as above - but not in anything else...
The guy from Ratcat - Simon Day - and the way he swung his hair around
The guy with the curly hair from early 90s melbourne band with 3 guys and they had a double bass - anyone know who i am talking about?

facebook addiction

I would like to confess my new facebook addiction. Part of the addiction is that it is engineered to have things happen to you everyday or to people you know, so you feel like you should check back to find out....

But I have found facebook a good thing because:
- 1) many of my friends who are parents with small kids are on it. This time of your life can be quite isolating - this gives us some degree of community and support without leaving the house.
- 2) there are many people I know and like who I would love to spend time with or get to know better but can't because of 1) or because they live too far away. This enables me to keep some degree of friendship going until a later time when there might be more chance to catch up
- 3) it is good with church people, now I can know what is going on for them sooner - as a part time pastor this helps.

it isn't a substitute for depth interaction face-to-face or even on the phone, but it fills in the gaps until this can happen.

my son would be proud

Your results:
You are Spider-Man
Spider-Man

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85%
Superman

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70%
Supergirl

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70%
Wonder Woman

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70%
Green Lantern

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60%
Hulk

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50%
The Flash

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50%
Robin

---

40%
Batman

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35%
Iron Man

thanks to jubileeman (see links) for last 2 quizzes.

i am harry

but think really i am hermione...

jean seberg - new style icon

I just bought some sass and bide jeans - called the jean seberg. cropped, skinny and grey. I looked up images of jean seberg when I got home, as I had a vague idea of what she looked like, but here she is, and basically thats my hairdo! thats kinda what I want to look like - I look a very little like this, but add in a few years, fatigue, no makeup, hair grown out somewhat as don't go to the hairdresser every week, no ironing of shirts...

another sleep update

Well, sleep for owl is a lot better - he goes in cot now, and evenings are now great, and we get most of the night at least- but we haven't had a magic fix. Continuing problems:

1. daytime sleeps - if I don't time this right, owl screams for the whole hour before as per instructions I pick him up. A bit trial and error - it seems that the very alert owl needs to be up for at least 4 hours before he can be counted on to sleep in the day. still testing this...

2. breastfeed number and sleep at night. It looks like 6 feeds at the moment means good night sleep, but 5 feeds means not making it all the way through. Problem is, that 5 feeds during the day suits him and us better - otherwise he has to be fed when not hungry, and he vomits some up, and hard to time this around sleeps, and hard to time with brother's nap and going out. Also seems to eat solids better on 5 feeds.

3. Even on 6 feeds 5:00am is all we can count on - not the 6am the Earl childhood nurse suggested. This is the least of our worries though - i think I can live with this if 1. and 2. can be solved!!!

trying at the moment to get an appointment to see nurse again. Any suggestions are welcome.....

parenting a multi person job

My husband has been away for a week - gets back today. So been me and the boys, with some hands on help from grandparents, and some phone support from friends. I really feel for single parents - it is very hard to do it by yourself - very tempting to let things slip too. Though I don't agree its a 2 person job, parenting - more like a 10 person job!!!! Welcome home, my partner in parenting.

harry potter

facebook and blog are breaks from potter at the moment - i am trying to make it last more than a couple of days, just like I do with my easter and xmas choccies. I will not put any spoilers ob my site until all regular readers have read it!

facebook

sorry dear blog, i hae a new current obession - my facebook ! but I promise not to neglect you. Joined this week - already been good for connecting with long lost friends, and for keeping up with how people I see more frequently are day to day (like see who is sick and so on).

update on owl's sleep

2nd night: awful - needed us to go in after almost every cycle for several hours
3rd night: good!!! some very brief cries, but didn't go in til 6:15 to feed him

today: days haven't been too hard until now because he has been exhausted. but today he hasn't been as tired, so been a little harder - 1st sleep cried 3/4 hour and only slept one cycle. one 2nd sleep now, cried until I left the room, but is asleep now. So a good improvement.

so getting there. been hard though. I'm tired so writing in short sentences! For those who prayed thanks so much - and keep going please.

hopefully very soon, the name owl will be a misnomer - will have to start thinking of something else.

teaching to sleep

We are currently using controlled comforting/crying - whatever you want to call it - to teach our baby (Owl) to sleep. I know there is a huge debate on this but as Owl had got to the point of refusing to sleep in his cot at all, we were desperate. Done one night so far - went really well. 3/4 hour to go to sleep, but then we only had to go in twice more during the night. Best sleep in 6 months for me, and now I feel like i can be a good mum to Sparky (2 y.o.) and a good wife too - manage all my responsiblities better. Still, not there yet, but an encouraging start - and owl doest sem traumatised. Lots of cuddles this morning!

favourite books

my fave books - a non definitive list as I kept putting off publishing this list in case I had forgotten something - so a work in progress.

classics
love austen. fave now is pride and prejudice - right balance of light and shade. as kid loved mansfield park as i identified with fanny with more self insight now, i am much more like elizabeth...
barchester towers series by trollope - just like church politics today. a real lesson in godliness not being which party you belong to, rather whether you are like jesus - or in this series like the warden.

literary
love AS Byatt. favourite is possession. very literary without being all pretension no plot.

fantasy
lord of the rings - see title of blog. very small person and mammoth task.

sci fi
native tongue series by suzette h elgin. sees women acheive liberation through their own language.

childhood faves -
all lm montgomery - favourite anne of the island and rilla of ingleside - the romance ones!
laura ingalls wilder - my fave was these happy golden years also the romance one...
narnia series
noel streatfield books such as ballet shoes

poetry
wb yeats
robert frost

light read
hornblower - swashbuckling - but with an insecure hero.

christian
bible - fave book in that philippians
prayer by richard foster - see chapter on prayer of tears.
wounded healer -henri nouwen - through our wounds we heal
crucified god - jurgen moltmann - theodicy of the cross.

recent faves
the kite runner - Khaled Hosseini - afghanistan from the inside and outside.
gilead - marilynne robinson - unexpectedly uplifting

which theologian?

on the same note... didn't really sort me - 4 top the same. but seeing as I like moltmann, lets go with him...

You scored as Jürgen Moltmann, The problem of evil is central to your thought, and only a crucified God can show that God is not indifferent to human suffering. Christian discipleship means identifying with suffering but also anticipating the new creation of all things that God will bring about. Karl Barth 73% Charles Finney 73% Anselm 73% Jürgen Moltmann 73% Martin Luther 67% Friedrich Schleiermacher 60% John Calvin 60% Augustine 47% Jonathan Edwards 27% Paul Tillich 27% Which theologian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

another quiz

still going on that book list - but more quiz fun in the meantime -more labels to own or dismiss - if you are christian you can take this test - if not it would probably be boring - go take the enneagram instead!!!

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan, You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavily by John Wesley and the Methodists. Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 79% Neo orthodox 71% Emergent/Postmodern 64% Charismatic/Pentecostal 57% Reformed Evangelical 46% Fundamentalist 43% Classical Liberal 39% Modern Liberal 25% Roman Catholic 21% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

Not that far off...

Enneagram

I mentioned the enneagram last blog without explaining - I have found this a lot less useful than the MB, - it is not as well based - but still it was of some interest - I found it interesting as it did seem to pinpoint how my husband and I though same MBT were different -I will wait for him to respond and tell you what he is , but I either come out -depending on which test - as a helper type 2 or individualist type 4. I suspect this is - as they say on the site below - that women are taught to be 2s - I suspect my mum is one too, but my natural preference may be more 4 - though I dont find either type entirely accurate.

if you want to take it go to:
http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/dis_sample_36.asp