individualistic culture v women

I'm going to make a grand sweeping historical statement here, but in general I believe, in most cultures at most times, women were not expected to be at home by themselves all day everyday looking after several children and the household by themselves. In our western post industrial, go it alone, nuclear family culture, we think the women who struggle with this are suffering with depression, rather than having an entirely appropriate reaction to their situation. But I think children are meant to be brought up by the extended family and the community. One thing that impresses me about chinese culture ( I work at a chinese church) is that the expectation is that grandparents will provide live in help for a few months after the birth of a baby. This comes with restrictions on the activities of the mother that we might chafe against, but recognises I think, that babies are a responsibility that requires support. My belief is that God intended this: a whole loving community to bring up children together, though with the main input from the parents. I think we are too affected by culture in how we do this as western christians. Part of the problem is us, the mums - we need to be less proud, and more willing to accept help.

Other women are awe inspiring and scary

another blog re kids - ok I intend to write about more cerebral things some time - anyway - now i am a 2 boy mum and I am now even more in awe of those women with more than 2 children. I know women with 3 or 4 children, who also manage to be fantastic cooks, cooking food for friends who have had babies or illnesses, who remember birthdays making homemade cards and presents, who volunteer in various capacities, who perhaps do some paid work, who do some form of creative outlet such as scrapbooking or needlework or writing, who are loving mothers and wives and really good friends to others. All this, and some of them have husbands who arent there much. My husband is around quite a bit, but the juggling act seems still a huge one to me, and I an happy to survive in a slapdash slovenly manner, as long as the food under the couch is younger than me, I feel I'm doing well.....

first love

I'm not talking about childhood sweethearts here (maybe another time - then again maybe not) - rather what it feels like to have another child. I feel like I am cheating on my first true love with this new love - my second boy - who though I love him and would protect him with my death, I currently cannot love in the same way - I love him for his potential, but I love my first boy for who he is and my relationship with him. I have to give so much time to this new love - and can see my first child upset because of this. Not to mention that first kid is bonding more with his dad now (which is lovely and all that, but I have to admit to a not so admirable liking for that mum fixation little kids have!). I feel like saying - hey, look firstborn you dont know how much I want to spend time with you too!!! I guess people must get past this once second kid starts becoming a personality.

My first blog:

Wouldn't have thought I would become a blogger, but having lately realised this is a great way to catch up with people I never see cause I have little kids consuming my time, here goes.

The title? from Lord of the Rings: fellowship of the rings. "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future". Yes, my stature is hobbit like. A reminder to myself that even tiny insignificant people can be used by God. My other reference to this is Balaam's Ass - to remind myself that God can speak even through the mouth of asses.

What will you talk about in this blog? anything really, though hopefully nothing harmful. Just expect it to be short and irregular until baby 2 gets bigger.