Raising children in community

I've blogged about this topic before, but it hit me again this week to wonder how much more stressed women are in childrearing since the advent of the nuclear family and women being isolated at home all day with young kids.

It came to mind because I spent Tuesday this week at my cousin's house, tag team childcare, as she and I had various things we had to get done during that day and so we pooled our resources and I stayed at her place for the day (Thanks R!) At times, both of us were there - sharing looking after the kids and working on our computers. The kids always had one of us ready to pay attention to them, if not both of us. I really enjoyed the day - being able to chat occasionally and share the duties. It brought to mind other days where I have spent the day with other women and their children, and we have commented that the day seems easier and faster when you do it together. Now, it isn't always convenient or desirable to do this, but I think such a model reflects older cultural village style society, and I reckon this is how we are intended to do it. If only we didn't think that this means we are failing, and that going it alone is some kind of test of motherhood!

By the way if you were wondering why I haven't blogged for a while - it was my birthday a week ago, my husband's been away, and my mum is in hospital, among just some of the things going on.........

individualistic culture v women

I'm going to make a grand sweeping historical statement here, but in general I believe, in most cultures at most times, women were not expected to be at home by themselves all day everyday looking after several children and the household by themselves. In our western post industrial, go it alone, nuclear family culture, we think the women who struggle with this are suffering with depression, rather than having an entirely appropriate reaction to their situation. But I think children are meant to be brought up by the extended family and the community. One thing that impresses me about chinese culture ( I work at a chinese church) is that the expectation is that grandparents will provide live in help for a few months after the birth of a baby. This comes with restrictions on the activities of the mother that we might chafe against, but recognises I think, that babies are a responsibility that requires support. My belief is that God intended this: a whole loving community to bring up children together, though with the main input from the parents. I think we are too affected by culture in how we do this as western christians. Part of the problem is us, the mums - we need to be less proud, and more willing to accept help.