The complexity of children

One of the engrossing activities we parents like to indulge in is defining and categorising our kids. And yet my experience so far, particularly after no 2, is that while this is an enjoyable and even necessary activity, as it helps us to understand and appreciate them, they do defy our neat descriptions of them. At 19 months and almost 4, my two boys are already individuals of sometimes alarming complexity.

Sparky has recently learnt to read by himself. This kind of feat, typical of him, has confirmed my description of him as very verbal. (and by the way, shows that we have to be careful of applying general statements about gender, such as that boys arent as verbally gifted, to specific children). And yet, I was recently reminded that I can't ignore the other abilities and interests he might have. Sure, he will be probably be a bookish kid. But that doesn't mean I won't have to be dragged along to Saturday morning sport (you can see how excited I am about the prospect of that...). He doesn't seem particularly sporty to me as yet, but even if he has no huge talent in that area, he might still really enjoy it. What reminded me is that he suddenly came out with a mathematical statement he had worked out (5 + 5 = 10, he worked it out from hands and feet he tells me, and wasn't told by anyone). I had been so focussed on his reading I hadn't been talking to him about numbers or really doing anything about his numeracy recently.

Well, on to Scout (hehehe yes, finally owl is renamed, and all your suggestions helped guide my thinking ). Scout is what is often called a typical boy - though I am a little wary of saying this about him, as if his brother isn't therefore as masculine. Anyway, Scout is adventurous and rebellious. A typical stunt of his is when he learnt how to climb on to the dining table and spent the first day doing that continually, looking at me knowing he was about to get in trouble, and clapping himself. He is the kind of kid who does something daring, hurts himself, and just has to try again immediately to see if it will still hurt this time. He loves cars and trains. Yet to just define him that way limits him. He is also far more interested in nurturing play than his brother at the same age. He loves cuddly toys and dolls, and is already pretending they are babies and looking after them. If he sees a baby in the supermarket he spends the rest of the time looking for them.

It is good to recognise their distinct personalities and to therefore being looking to cater to their special interests and needs. But in doing so, I am trying not to at the same time close off doors they might want to explore. God makes them more wonderful than we can imagine or describe

two boys in a bedroom and the little one said......

nothing as it turns out, and neither did the big one. Yes we have successfully got our boys to share a room , aged 3.5 and 15 months. After a successful camp with all of us sharing a room, we have done 2 nights at home and it has worked. Both seem very happy. I have now got all the toys out of my living room into a dedicated playroom. Down the track we plan to have bunk beds, perhaps like these ikea ones. Not now, or for some time, because Owl is a fearless adventurer.

a big day

Just sharing the big triumph at our house today. Sparky has been toilet trained for over a year now but today had a first - he did the whole thing by himself without help either physical or verbal! You don't realise how many steps that is until you have to teach it - pull down pants, but don't pull them right off, get on seat - managing to get all relevant parts in, do it - all, not getting up half way through, wipe yourself, without removing copious amounts of paper from the roll, then put paper in toilet - not on floor, then flush - once, not several times , pull up pants - managing to get nothing folded over or stuck on the way, turn tap on, the cold one not the hot one, wet hands, then apply soap - not the entire container - rub and rinse hands, turn off tap and dry hands on a towel, not anything else that takes your fancy.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a goal for the year is on its way!
(and yes I did poke my head unobtrusively around the door to see how it was going, and so could see that he was doing all the right things.)

Owl walks!

On Friday Owl started walking (well one very tentative step). Very proud mum of my 10 month old. I have put up a photo from his dedication day of Sparky and owl dancing at Yum Cha (yummmmmmm - a real plus to working at a chinese church).

My blog has been very domestic recently! I will try to put in some more thinky pieces soon......I've been asked to write some theology stuff so that might help me get the brain in gear.

earliest experience

further to last post. I was thinking about my experience as a newborn, that while I was used to sharing the womb, when I came out due to being very small, I was put in a humidicrib and then stayed in hospital til 7.5 weeks old. So my twin was taken away at birth - how did this affect me? And they now know that children need touch from day one - so the humidicrib I was in, which had no holes for touching - has been replaced with touch friendly ones these days. This explains quite a bit about me (if you know me you might be able to work that out). Watching my 2 children, I can see the birth order influence already shaping their personalities. My eldest, who was an only child only 3 m onths ago, is now suddenly displaying eldest characteristics. My youngest is developing more pateince, as he is forced to wait more than my first. How much of who we are is determined pre memory even?