Gasp! childfree time and sleep ins

If you read Prue as well you will know that I have been away with Prue for a mini break, sans kids. Thanks so much Prue for inviting me! You can read her entertaining synopsis here, though she doesn't mention our meal at a Katoomba cafe run by a Christian (well some questions over this designation!) commune, which we didn't realise was the case until after we had ordered. There have been serious concerns raised about the group as I discovered when I researched them later. Suddenly the amazing cheapness of the food was explained - the workers are according to what I have read, not paid ( see previous link).

Other than that, we had a lovely time. A relaxing time out, though we didn't take time off from our masterchef addiction. Fortunately we shared this, so we were both willing to time everything else around it.

Drumroll please..Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you

You may have read in previous posts that the blogs I link to on my sidebar are my friends. I currently don't link to any other blogs, although I do look at other blogs. For me blogging is about friendship, and I find that I do not sustain an interest in a blog unless the blogger is already a friend or becomes one. And because of that, the blogs I link to aren't necessarily anything like mine, just as your friends can be wonderfully different from you. Which may mean that you ignore my links, as you don't know what the blogs will be about. So I thought I would introduce you to my current crop of links. I also want to do this, because I have been reflecting lately on what an encouraging and inspiring lot they all are and wanted to sing their praises.


Andrew aka Jubilee Man: Andrew and my husband were in each other's bridal parties, and when they saw each other more often they were full of in jokes that only they understood! Bhaer misses him very much. Andrew is a minister, husband (see Cecily below) and father. Andrew's blog is full of different treasures: thoughtful theology, musings on life, ministry and family, and also loads of wonderful photography shot by himself.


Byron aka nothing new under the sun: Byron and I have only met online, but have since discovered so many connections we can't understand why we have never met. He is doing his PhD on the church at the moment, and I can't wait to see where it goes. His blog is my stop for a good theological think - but Byron is never just about the academy, so he also engages meaningfully with real world issues such as politics and the environment.

Cecily aka I love sunny day is married to Andrew, and is a friend from Uni days. She is one of those amazing inspiring women who is able to put her hand to almost anything. She is a published author, and she often shares what she is currently writing on her blog. She also tells you about her latest projects and passions, and about mothering her 3 kids (one of whom is in the autism spectrum). She does everything with flair and love.


John aka Smulospace is a friend of mine from college days. He has an enquiring mind, always willing to entertain the views of others and think things through. His blog is a meeting place for emerging church discussion. A refreshing change in a blogger, he tries to provoke discussion rather than hold forth on his own opinion all the time. A necessary voice of critique for the church today, he doesn't come across, as some do, as Mr Negativity, but rather still a lover of Jesus and his people.

Kaylene aka my life as a (not so) yummy mummy is another old Uni friend. Like me, she is a mum of 2 small boys - incredibly only about 13 months apart - so I take my hat off to her! A very smart woman, she has a high powered career but her heart is with her 2 boys. She blogs about the intersection of her work and children, and shares about the joys and challenges of mothering in a genuine, frank and heartfelt manner.


Kristen aka the babies stole my brain and I were in the bridal parties of each other's weddings and we are often spending time on Facebook or the phone together when we should be doing other things - Kris is a lifeline for me. Kristen is in ministry with her husband. Kris's eclectic blog showcases her wideranging interests, as she fills it with her engaging thoughts on parenthood, ministry, the church, the world and pop culture. And if the Babies did steal her brain, then they must have given her an even better one back (don't play her at word games!)

Mark aka Honest approach and I were in a Bible study group together for a few years. We were 2 of the most outspoken members of the group, and we derived much enjoyment from debating things together. Mark is one of those people who is never happy just to take something as read, he always wants to ask why first - we really need people like him in the world! His blog focusses on faith and spiritual growth in a serious minded and thoughtful way.

Mim aka Mim's muddle is married to a school friend of my husband and pretty quickly became my friend too. Mim is a mother of 3 kids and has just gone back to the workforce - she is a person who take an active interest in many many things, and this makes her blog very interesting - read about wildlife, jewellery making, sci fi, historic re-enactment, feminism, food... and her family, all written about with honesty, humour and heart.

Nicole aka 168 hours is the wife of a college friend. We have only recently met in person, but because of her open and caring online presence, I feel like I know her well! She is a mother to 3 young kids. Her blog encourages and challenges other Christian women, especially mothers, to live lives that every day transcend the everyday in serving God and others. She also is a poet and shares great poetry written by herself and others.

Prue aka My life as the good twin is a friend from uni days (and a playgroup friend now). Prue is a mother of 2, botanist, botanical artist and crafter. She is an incredibly multitalented person, and shares her always accomplished art, craft, sewing and breadmaking, as well as opening up about her life as a mum. She also shares her wry, funny and insightful observations about life and the world.

So, go visit them, be kind to them, and maybe become friends too.

what we don't know

I have just started mentoring someone, and so I picked up John Mallison's book on mentoring which I had lying round the house. I opened it at a page which spoke about the qualities of a mentor. One thing that really struck me was that it spoke about the openness of a person, how we all have things about ourselves that are hidden from either ourselves or other people. It used a quadrant, where 1. known by all 2. known by us but hidden from others 3. known by others but hidden from ourselves 4. unknown by all. It was good if mentors had larger 1 quads and smaller 3 quads.

3 really got to me, and then a couple of days later a friend brought up this idea again, that we are often unaware of how we come across.

I've been wondering ever since what I am hiding from myself. Do I want to know or not? I guess it would be good ultimately to know, but kinda scary in the short term. Maybe I need to ask God to show me.

One experience like this I had when I was younger (though not strictly 3 - more how I was being misunderstood) - was that I came across to people as snobbish on first meeting when in reality I was very shy and was afraid that they wouldn't like me - and then they wouldn't because they thought I was judging them. It was very helpful to find this out!

had we but world enough and time

The title comes from a poem by Marvell which aims to seduce a woman fast using the whole carpe diem thing. An amusing poem, but basically the 17th C version of a pick up line. Is it right though?

I have been excited by reconnecting with people on facebook but have been struck by the fact that I don't manage to keep up with existing friends at the moment, let alone refound or new ones. I have been able to have more contact with people than I otherwise might have, but it is still not the same as good ol face-to-face time. Sure relationships can be difficult, but life has been teaching me that people of all sorts are worth knowing. So the lack of time saddens me.

This is one thing that really draws me about eternity , and the Christian view of it - is that we spend it in community with those who take hold of forgiveness in Christ. Those people that moved far away will be right next door. Those people who for some reason although they seemed great we never got past polite acquaintance with - we will be able to go bowling with. Those people we have relationship struggles with - even though in our heart we really want to be friends with - we will be laughing with them over a cuppa about it. I can't wait. And I want to take people with me.

So sorry Marvell, we do have, in hope, in Christ, world enough and time (and heaven and eternity too).

friends not links

If you are in the group who read my blog regularly (as far as I am aware a very select group indeed lol), you might have noticed I recently changed my section links to be titled friends. That is because I had a think about who I should link to and why. Which led me to thinking about the purpose of my blog. There are lots of different types of blogs out there (based around businesses, philosophies, interests etc) and so there are lots of different reasons for who is included in links. No one way is the best, it depends on what your blog is for. This blog I have decided is, and always has been, about friendship - in the sense not that I talk about that necessarily, but that I use it to maintain and enrich my friendships. So I have a single criterion for my links section: I link to genuine friends. So a link doesnt mean I agree or disagree, or that I am similar or dissimilar to those blog writers. I impose no such limits on my friends that we must agree or be like each other! Since those linked to are my friends though, if you visit them, please treat them kindly and gently - I love them.

more facebook propaganda

I have been thinking about the privacy issues re internet pursuits such as blogging and facebook, myspace. I have read a few articles about the internet generation (which I am a bit older than...) having a different conception of privacy.

I have been thinking through such issues as - what do you do when someone you have issues with wants you to be a friend on facebook? now facebook has some ways around this - you can make yourself only visible to friends (though this then means you can't have the serendipitous reconnection with old friends) or you can block people (whats to say that someone can't sign in as a different name, or ask a mutual friend whether you are on facebook?). It means that you will now find it very hard to leave relationships behind.

I think this is, rather than a problem, instead a very good thing. It brings back the village. People used to have to live lives of getting along, sorting things out, putting up with eccentricities, everyone knowing your business, because people lived in small communties their whole lives. I think this taught the practicalities of love - you didn't just have to love when it was easy, when someone was the same as you. I think it teaches civility - we don't have to all be best friends, but we should all be able to be civil with each other.

And think on this if you are a christian - if you are going to live with other christians in eternity - what! can't you live with them now on facebook?

Of course this is all in my humble I'm still in the honeymoon period opinion. What do others think?

facebook addiction

I would like to confess my new facebook addiction. Part of the addiction is that it is engineered to have things happen to you everyday or to people you know, so you feel like you should check back to find out....

But I have found facebook a good thing because:
- 1) many of my friends who are parents with small kids are on it. This time of your life can be quite isolating - this gives us some degree of community and support without leaving the house.
- 2) there are many people I know and like who I would love to spend time with or get to know better but can't because of 1) or because they live too far away. This enables me to keep some degree of friendship going until a later time when there might be more chance to catch up
- 3) it is good with church people, now I can know what is going on for them sooner - as a part time pastor this helps.

it isn't a substitute for depth interaction face-to-face or even on the phone, but it fills in the gaps until this can happen.

good friends

just spoke to a very lovely darling friend for an hour almost. the world seems much better. i forget how talking to a friend can make all the difference. even my kids seem so much cuter now!!!!

personality and first impressions

Here I am responding again to the same friend's blog! (see my post below on christians and culture - this shows that stuck at home with kids, reading blogs is now my community!) - she is reading about friendship at the moment and the effect that conversational style has on our judgment of each other. This really made me think back over past relationships. I thought this also related into personality - say for instance introversion/extraversion. Introverts such as myself often show a different public face to private one. I know for myself I tend to not show my serious side until I know someone well - as I keep what really matters to me private. I also tend to show this serious heart more in what I write than in what I say. I wonder how many people have not become friends because I do this? Do I miss out then on becoming friends with those people who would share my most deeply held views and ideals?
this is related also to my mysers brigg type - INFP see http://users.knoware.nl/users/veldman/frans/dutch/infp.htm or http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html
what are you?